For parents unwillingly estranged from an adult child, it can seem as though forgiveness is the brass ring. If they can attain forgiveness, reconnection will be secured and the nightmare of unwanted estrangement will end.

But is that true?

In this interesting episode, Tina challenges the notion of adult children’s unwillingness to forgive – likening forgiveness to an orchid that won’t bloom.

In cases where forgiveness is still needed, she talks about the conditions required for forgiveness, and what parents can do to create the ones they control.

And finally, she reminds parents that you may already be forgiven, even if reconciliation hasn’t happened yet.

EPISODE LINKS:

When You Can’t Forgive (Psychology Today)

Episode 122: Language Matters

The more parents learn about how to respond effectively to estrangement by adult children, the more they start to regret what they did (or didn’t do) in the past.

Regret is the price of change; when certain changes make sense, we almost always wish we’d made them sooner. But in this episode, Tina assures rejected parents that all is not lost if you feel you erred in responding to your estranged adult child(ren)’s estrangement.

Most mistakes of communication are not fatal to your goal of building a better relationship in the long run. This episode includes both reassurance and, as always, practical advice for worried parents.

For information on how to repair the parent-adult child relationship, read Tina's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child.

Reconnection Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club.

Not a member yet? Learn more and join.

EPISODE LINKS:

Don’t Be in a Hurry to Apologize to an Estranged Adult Child

RCP Episode 103: “What should I apologize for?”

Course sample: A Good Apology

The people who most need self-care are the least likely to focus on it. So if the whole idea of self-care seems boring to you, you might want to force yourself to listen to this episode!

It’s stressful to be estranged from your own adult child or children. Maybe there are also grandchildren involved, adding another layer of suffering to the unwanted separation.

The grief that comes along with missing family members and milestones is deep and devastating for rejected parents.
That’s why Tina recorded this episode about self-care, just for parents of estranged adult children.

Some of her tips might be familiar. But others may offer a new perspective. This episode is intended to inspire you to take action to make sure you’re receiving the care and attention you need during the challenging time of estrangement.

(If you prefer reading to listening, check out the article on which this episode is based.)

EPISODE LINKS:

Constructive Wallowing: How to Beat Bad Feelings By Letting Yourself Have Them

Kristen Neff’s self-compassion website

Chronic Pain Interview with Dr. Howard Schubiner

The Boulder Back Pain Study

The Way Out book by Alan Gordon

Physical benefits of exercise

Trauma treatment provider directories:
https://traumatherapistnetwork.com/
https://www.psychologytoday.com
https://www.goodtherapy.org

3 Breathing Exercises That Will Change Your Life With Nick Heath [Podcast]

Nick Heath's breathing website

Members can discuss this episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club.

If you get an opportunity for family therapy with your estranged adult child, there are things a parent needs to know.

Family therapy is not mediation. Nor is it like marital or couples counseling. For it to be successful, family therapy with children of any age is something for which parents must be prepared.

In this informative episode, Tina describes the challenges for parents in family therapy. She offers specific ideas and advice before you sit down together with a therapist.

This is a must-listen for any parent holding an invitation, or thinking of issuing one, for family therapy with an estranged adult child.

For information on how to repair the parent-adult child relationship, read Tina's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child.

Reconnection Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club.

Not a member yet? Learn more and join.

Parents may be overjoyed at the thought of reconnecting with their estranged adult children, but there’s often a more complicated experience in store for them.
Many parents describe a continuing feeling of walking on eggshells. They feel as though there’s a constant danger of backward movement, so they find themselves checking in about absolutely everything.
All the checking in, and the worry and fear, are exhausting. Tina calls this “reconciliation fatigue.”
In this episode, Tina assures parents that reconciliation fatigue is a normal part of reconnecting. She explains why it happens and what to do about it.
If you’re in the reconciliation phase of an estrangement by your adult child(ren), don’t miss this episode.

For information on how to repair the parent-adult child relationship, read Tina's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child.

Reconnection Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club.

Not a member yet? Learn more and join.

LINKS:

Episode 63: What You Resist Persists 

Visiting websites where estranged adult children commiserate with each other...

Worrying about influences beyond your control...

Focusing exclusively on getting an emotionally distant adult child to communicate with you...

These are a few ways parents waste precious time during unwanted estrangement from adult children.

It’s understandable to want the pain to end. But in trying to end it, parents often exhaust themselves sprinting in all the wrong directions, instead of walking the path directly in front of them.

In this episode you'll learn about the seven most common time-wasters Tina has noticed in working with parents of estranged adult children.

Whether your estrangement is long-standing or has only just begun, this episode is a must-listen for every parent of an estranged adult child.

For information on how to repair the parent-adult child relationship, read Tina's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child.

Reconnection Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club.

Smart parents are keen not to waste time during estrangement from their adult child(ren). So they set about working on themselves in a good-faith effort to prepare for reconnection.

If you have the time, energy and support for personal development, you’re ahead of the pack.

But what does “working on yourself” really mean?

And who are you doing it for?

And is “working on oneself” really the best phrase to capture the gold in the process?

In Episodes 127 (last time) and 128 (this one), Tina shares her thoughts about parents working on themselves during unwanted estrangement.

As always, she offers practical advice to help you make the most of your efforts.

For information on how to repair the parent-adult child relationship, read Tina's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child.

Reconnection Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club.

Not a member yet? Learn more and join.

EPISODE LINKS:

https://traumatherapistnetwork.com

https://www.psychologytoday.com

https://www.goodtherapy.org

Smart parents are keen not to waste time during estrangement from their adult child(ren). So they set about working on themselves in a good-faith effort to prepare for reconnection.

If you have the time, energy and support for personal development, you’re ahead of the pack.

But what does “working on yourself” really mean?

And who are you doing it for?

And is “working on oneself” really the best phrase to capture the gold in the process?

In Episodes 127 (this one) and 128 (next time), Tina shares her thoughts about parents working on themselves during unwanted estrangement.

As always, she offers practical advice to help you make the most of your efforts.

For information on how to repair the parent-adult child relationship, read Tina's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child.

Reconnection Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club.

Not a member yet? Learn more and join.

EPISODE LINKS:

https://traumatherapistnetwork.com

https://www.psychologytoday.com

https://www.goodtherapy.org

Like every good driver, even good parents have blind spots.

Sometimes the most well-meaning of efforts to parent better than they were parented can promote a disconnect between parents and their adult children.

It's tragic that such good intentions can lead to such surprising and disappointing results, in many cases.

In this two-episode series (listen to Part 1 here), Tina explains the idea of "do-over" parenting, and how it can create unexpected trouble in the parent-child relationship.

For information on how to repair the parent-adult child relationship, read Tina's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child.

Reconnection Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club.

Not a member yet? Learn more and join.

Like every good driver, even good parents have blind spots.

Sometimes the most well-meaning of efforts to parent better than they were parented can gradually promote a disconnect that affects relations between parents and adult children.

It's tragic that parents' good intentions can lead to such surprising and disappointing results, in many cases.

In this two-episode series (Part 2 will be in Episode 126), Tina explains the idea of "do-over" parenting, and how it can create unexpected trouble in the parent-child relationship.

For information on how to repair the parent-adult child relationship, read Tina's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child.

Reconnection Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club.

Not a member yet? Learn more and join.