The Simple Sophisticate - Intelligent Living Paired with Signature Style

"'I think that's just how life panned out. I had children and it was difficult to have a relationship with a man who was not the father. And I started thinking, OK, I'll take care of the children and then when they're grown up, I'll be available for a partner. But then I found, I have to say, the great serenity of being single.'" She pauses, as if to savour the words. "'And if I hadn't, I don't think I would have been able to do all that I've done. I have freedom of movement.'"—Isabella Rossellini

When I recently read Isabella Rosselini's quote shared above about why she, initially unconsciously, and then consciously chosen to live alone, referring to not having a romantic partner, for over 30 years, I spontaneously found myself smiling in appreciation of her candor and openness to discovering the gifts that life wants to share with us if only we would let go of narrow constructs of how one's life must look.

The value we give our lives when we understand how to find serenity for ourselves, is revolutionary because we give ourselves the reins, or should I say the recipe, for exactly what will bring us peace.

The concept of serenity lies at the heart of what we feel when we are living a life of contentment. And as has been shared regularly here on TSLL, each of us will cultivate our life structure - relationships, responsibilities, rituals, routines, excursions, home life, etc. - differently to nurture ourselves well in order to be able to live, express and engage fully.

Too often no variation is given to certain ingredients in one's life in order to find or be at peace. If we do find peace without these purported to be 'must-have's, as Rosselini has demonstrated, society can gang up on us to pressure us or make us doubt our own inner truth. But whether or not to live with another person, specifically a romantic partner, is indeed a variable, not a constant, in the many variations available to us as we cultivate our unique life to discover where contentment resides.

Back in 2015, podcast episode #33 - How to Live Alone Well - was shared and included 16 approaches and benefits of doing so. While I won't repeat those benefits in this episode, and I encourage you to explore them, it is now ten years on, and as TSLL readers know, I continue to live alone by choice. A choice, a priority for living the life where and how I find true contentment. Of course, many listeners/readers who know me, know I am not really alone as I live with my pups and have done so for all but three years of my adult life. For me, this is also a choice because my dogs let me just be, and I have not yet found a human being who is comfortable with letting me just be. In other words, giving me freedom along with trust, so that the home that is a sanctuary is indeed that for all inhabitants. So today's episode will dive a bit deeper, sharing the joys of this way of living and savoring immensely everyday life - alone and delightfully so.

Briefly just alluded to - what you will notice as an intentional undercurrent in all of these joys shared today is freedom. When we give ourself the freedom to choose what is most nourishing and nutritive for our well-being, we step closer to living a life of contentment, if we aren't already. Ultimately, as we talked about in episode #403 - 10 Ways Integrating Buddhist Psychology into Your Everyday Life Cultivates Contentment - the core purpose of Buddhism is to bring deep healing, well-being and inner freedom.

So whether you are living alone by choice or by circumstance, the time you do live alone has the opportunity through this freedom to become intimately in tune with yourself so you can ascertain with clarity and self-trust how you want to live your life so that it is grounded in contentment.

Let's take a look at this list of 8 Joys of living alone.

Tune in to the episode and find the Show Notes here on TSLL blog - https://thesimplyluxuriouslife.com/podcast407

"Food need not be extravagant, complicated, or mysterious to be good. Quite the contrary." —Patricia Wells in her Introduction to Robert Olney's Simple French Food cookbook

Whether you love cooking, loathe cooking or fall anywhere in between, we all need to eat.

And if we eat well - a marriage of nutritive and delicious - we give ourself a very good shot at living a long and wonderful life. But we aren't born knowing how to cook. We have to choose to learn it, and depending upon our experience with food and the approach others took in how meals came together, we may have a whole host of beliefs about what constitutes good food, how to make it or why or why not we want to learn how to cook due to cultural expectations and pressures.

Similar to living a life of contentment, we cannot just go pull the skills of cooking off the shelf, but instead, we do have to invest some time, effort and initially some money (for the tools), but the money need not be much, and the time need not be terribly lengthy if we have the right teachers and ingredients.

Enter the French approach to cooking. The French have long been known for their prowess in the kitchen and with good reason. Auguste Escoffier began cooking at age 13 (1846-1935), and is known for both popularizing and modernizing traditional French cooking methods. You may recognize his name as it is often associated with The Ritz or with the five mother sauces. Rest assured, you do not need to know how to make these traditional French sauces to utilize the skills of the French approach to cooking. You may choose to learn all of them as you begin to find more enjoyment and reward with the basics that will be introduced to you today and further taught in TSLL's Introduction to French Cooking course for everyday deliciousness, but don't be intimated by the fanciness that often is paired with French food. Yes, it is fancy and beautiful and thoughtfully presented, but it is the creation that we are going to talk about today, and for everyday life, that is all you need to know.

So let's get started!

~Explore the detailed Show Notes on The Simply Luxurious Llife blog - https://thesimplyluxuriouslife.com/podcast406

"Love has the shape and feel of water. It is simultaneously flexible and powerful. It can adapt and roar; it can also be silently nourishing." –Yung Pueblo, How to Love Better

We know we need to heal when we slip into being defensive, reactive or regress into any self-protecting behavior - anger, aggressiveness - passive or active. When we cling to perfection at all costs, avoid emotions especially during difficult times, have co-dependent relationships (i.e are unable to be alone for any duration of time), agree to whatever is asked of us whether we are truly able to or not, crave external validation, are highly self-critical and never feel we are enough, the list goes on, but these are many of the more common everyday signs to take note of and thus feel a nudge to discover how to heal. (check out the full list here)

The love we seek, love that is liberating and simultaneously instills a feeling of being at home within yourself, feeling accepted for your full and amazing self that you are. A feeling of both being safe and also energized to explore, grow and discover new ahas, begins with being loving to ourselves.

Without loving who we are, which requires that we truly know who we are, we cannot build a loving relationship with others, any type of relationship, not just romantic.

Today's episode is inspired by a new book written by Yung Pueblo, How to Love Better: The Path to Deeper Connection Through Growth, Kindness, and Compassion. A book that he shares is about romantic relationships, but all that he shares can be applied to any relationship. Knowing this, I began to read it, and the first half of the book, ironically and wisely, is not about other relationships at all. It is all about the relationship between yourself and you, how to thrive and thus how to heal so that you can be loving to yourself and then loving to others.

If any of the items in the list shared above spoke to you or you recognized them in your patterns of how you live life currently and you want to change, you want to grow out of them and understand why you default to them, then this is the episode for you. Let's heal, and then let's learn how to assess whether we've healed or not.

Find the Show Notes for episode #405 on The Simply Luxurious Life blog - https://thesimplyluxuriouslife.com/podcast405

As we are in the middle of TSLL's 7th Annual British Week, I wanted to share with you 11 classic contemporary British wardrobe details for achieving effortless style. Each item and outfit shared below is not dependent on trends of the season, of which London is definitely at the forefront when it comes to embracing new and setting new trends. Rather, whether you live or simply visit Britain, whether you are staying in the city of London or stepping out into the countryside, these outfits and items can be relied upon to come together for a dependable style that will enable you to simply enjoy and engage fully with the day's activities.

Over the years both here on the blog and the podcast, I have shared seasonal outfit and clothing item inspiration for Britain, but I realized, I haven't ever written a post solely inspired by British sartorial needs. France? Oodles of posts, but not Britain. So today, here is the much-overdue episode/post sharing the dependable wardrobe pieces and details that will guarantee you are feeling great in your outfit of choice. Let's take a look.

Visit and Shop the Show Notes here on The Simply Luxurious Life blog - https://thesimplyluxuriouslife.com/podcast404

"Buddhism is not a belief system. It's not about accepting certain tenets or believing a set of claims or principles. In fact, it's quite the opposite. It's about examining the world clearly and carefully, about testing everything and every idea. Buddhism is about seeing. It's about knowing rather than believing or hoping or wishing. It's also about not being afraid to examine anything and everything, including our own personal agendas . . . The message is always to examine and see for yourself. When you see for yourself what is true—and that's really the only way that you can genuinely know anything—then embrace it. Until then, just suspend judgment and criticism. The point of Buddhism is to just see. That's all . . . An ordinary person is simply one who is not awake in the moment; a buddha is a person who is. That's all." —Steve Hagan, author of Buddhism Plain and Simple: The practice of Being Aware, Right Now, Every Day

To be fully human and see the humanity in all others. To have compassion for all sentient beings, understanding that they too experience all of the senses and are capable of emotions. This way of walking through life, engaging with it subtly, yet powerfully, infusing both our daily life and others, with the ability to be and express our full and most capable selves, is to live with awareness. To see and engage fully without expectation or harm.

For example, one of the ladybird's gifts is their appetite for many pests in the garden, effectively being a natural pest deterrent; the talent of bees is to disperse pollen which plays a crucial role in the entire food production chain; and as we consider any human on earth throughout history who gives of their talents that further contributed positively to the world. These brave and determined souls, without each one, the world would not be as we know it today.

When we celebrate the humanity of one another, we set each other free to discover the treasures we each uniquely have within us. Then it is each individual's job, at times daunting, but most primarily exhilarating, to share with the world what we have realized is our dharma - what we can uniquely share with the world that also energizes us while we engage in the giving.

There is much confusion about what Buddhism is, and unlike what many Google searches will retrieve when we try to figure it out, it is not a religion. The Dalai Lama himself states it most directly, "Buddhist teachings are not a religion, they are a science of the mind." In other words, it is an approach to understanding our own mind, NOT being told what to think nor HOW to live concretely. Rather the concepts of Mindfulness, Awareness, Compassion, Appreciation and Courage are many of the fundamental skills, which are also the core concepts of cultivating a life of contentment, a simply luxurious life.

Tune in to discover more about how Buddhist psychology cultivates an everyday life of contentment.

Find the Show Notes on The Simply Luxurious Life blog - https://thesimplyluxuriouslife.com/podcast403

"With the right training, nutrition, lifestyle strategies, and the power of the mind, women in their fifties and beyond can still [accomplish amazing feats] . . . women prove every day that our best years can be ahead of us no matter how old we are now . . . you've accumulated hard-earned wisdom and power over the years. You're higher on the totem pole of life. There are countless opportunities that lie ahead." —Dr. Stacy Sims, phD, International exercise physiologist and nutrition scientist

The beautiful gift of stepping into another year of life is that we have the opportunity, but not the promise, to enjoy the application of wisdom learned along the way.

As someone who lives with awareness and pays attention to the reality of life, we know that our bodies need to be taken care of properly so that they can take care of us. Knowing how our bodies change as we age is crucial to knowing how to give it the care it needs for optimal quality of living. Which brings me to a reality that Dr. Stacy T. Sims, an exercise physiologist and nutrition scientist, pointed out in a recent interview on The Mel Robbins podcast (listen here), the majority, and arguably supermajority of all fitness studies and how the body responds to exercise for weight loss and strength building has been done with men as their test subjects, and the few studies that did involve women, were women who were pre-menopausal age. In fact, she points out in her latest book Next Level: Your Guide to Kicking Ass, Feeling Great, and Crushing Goals Through Menopause that in a 2019 study published by the Mayo Clinic Proceedings "found that of 177 resident physicians in family medicine, internal medicine, and even obstetrics/gynecology who were surveyed, 20 percent received zero lectures on menopause during their training. Fewer than 7 percent reported feeling prepared to help manage the care of women through their menopausal years."

However, thankfully, awareness and discussion and knowledge are being more readily shared thanks to many high profile individuals - Michelle Obama, Oprah, Naomi Watts, Halle Berry, Katie Couric, Maria Shriver and more. What is most important is understanding what we can do and how it will benefit us not only in the short-term but in the long-term. And as someone who has been active all of my life, and now am at the age of 46, I began to realize I need to learn more about what I can do to keep my body strong, reduce the symptoms and continue to enjoy working out while seeing results. That is why I was thrilled to be introduced to Dr. Stacy Sims, and I have a long-time TSLL reader and member to thank for this - Janet M. Janet sent me the link to the Mel Robbin's podcast episode with Dr. Stacy Sims that essentially just blasts so many myths out of the water about how to eat, workout and think about what we do to ourselves as women as we step into the perimenopausal and then postmenopausal period of our life, which is the rest of our life - we think we need to eat less and work out more and the exact opposite is true. I cannot tell you how refreshing, validating and inspiring that episode was, so I encourage you to listen to it so you can meet Dr. Stacy Sims and get an introduction to what we're going to talk about today and why I highly recommend picking up her latest book Next Level.

With all of that said, I have simultaneously been reading a book about how to strengthen our memory to do all that we can, whatever our age, to prevent dementia and Alzheimer's, and what I discovered, which will not likely surprise you, is that so much of what we can do for our physical health that will also benefit our brain health and strong memory. So today's episode is the episode that will share with you 17 specific life habits, practices and approaches to keep both your body and mind healthy for the rest of our lives, specifically dedicated to women as we move through perimenopause, then menopause (which is essentially one day), and the postmenopause which will be for the rest of our lives. Why not discover how to thrive and enjoy this awesome time of our lives because as a favorite quote of my shares, "The climax of the story always occurs in the second act. It's the best part." as written for the dramatized show Julia about Julia Child.

The other reason I wanted to bring this episode to you is because the more we talk about and celebrate and model how to live amazingly through this inevitable change, we destigmatize what has been for centuries seen as a negative along the journey of womanhood. No longer! And that can only change with women - the words we use, how we talk about it, how we live, etc. The mindset we bring, the attitude, the wisdom, the support, it will all make a powerful difference that not only will help each of us, but those around us and those who will arrive into the latter half of their life after us undaunted and eager to do so because of the women who came before who refused to be seen as less-than or a incapable of achieving amazing things.

~Find the Show Notes on The Simply Luxurious Life blog — https://thesimplyluxuriouslife.com/podcast402

"France is Europe's most diverse, tasty, and exciting country to explore. It's a cultural bouillabaisse that surprises travelers with its varied, complex flavors." —Rick Steves

The rain in Bretagne/Brittany. The dry hot heat in Provence. The bustle of Paris. The butter in Normandy (and Brittany). I could go on and on about the specialty delights and signature details in each of the many regions of France because as many of you know who have had the special opportunity to spend time on the terra firma of France, France is full of wonder and deliciousness to savor. To have only remained in Paris is to have seen just one gorgeous, yes, indeed magnificent spectacle at the Olympics, so to speak. When we travel beyond the capital, we further deepen our appreciation for a country, as Rick Steves notes above that is diverse, tasty and exciting in ways unique to each region.

Having just returned from my seventh trip to France, three of which gave me the opportunity to spend a great deal of time in four different regions of France, each time I visit I am reminded why the French culture resonates so sincerely with both my temperament but also my predilections as it pertains to passions and approach to daily life.

Over the years here on TSLL I have written many posts sharing lists of what France has taught me, so I will refer you to those at the end of today's post as I will try not to repeat myself here today. No doubt all of those lessons remain present with each visit, but I want to share the new ahas that were unearthed on this particular trip taken just this past March for over two weeks - one week in Paris and one full week in north Brittany.

Let's dive right in.

Explore the full Show Notes on The Simply Luxurious Life blog - https://thesimplyluxuriouslife.com/podcast401

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When beginning this journey back in September 2022, I never imagined I would feel comfortable speaking French without thinking too far ahead of myself nor caring if I spoke incorrectly (which is still quite often), but two and a half years later, it has happened!

Imperfect French is being spoken and the fundamentals are more confidently understood than ever before. Wahoo!

While having attempted to take a French language class here and there over the past two years beginning when I was 20 back in college, I never made it past the 103. It took me three attempts, but finally, I made it all the way to completing FR 204 with the instruction of Washington D.C.'s Alliance de Française.

Back in September 2022 I enrolled at the very beginning yet again, and told myself that B1 completion was my goal, so finishing FR 204. As I shared in episode #349, in part four of this series, "On ne comprend jamais tout à fait une langue avant d'en comprendre au moins deux." And finally, the phrase rings more true than ever. To learn a second language, if one doesn't know well their first, is to more fully know their primary language well. And appreciate their knowledge of it as well. Humility is a muscle strengthened while stumbling over the rules of a new language and not being able to speak near as well as a toddler in the language you wish to know.

So with my humility taken to the workout gym regularly twice a week, every week (minus the two week and annual four-week break between courses), attempting to speak French is no longer fearful, but absolutely not perfect. However, as my instructor for the past three courses reminded us repeatedly, practice, practice, practice. That is how we acquire into our long-term memory a language, by using, however, imperfectly from time to time.

And so on February 13th, just over a month ago, I celebrating concluding FR 204.

What I would like to share with you today are the key lessons learned during FR 203 and FR 204 as our last part of this series - part huit - covered up through my FR 202 class conclusion.

Tune in to the episode to discover the 12 things I Learned in French Class So Far . . . , Part Neuf.

Explore the detailed Show Notes on The Simply Luxurious Life blog - https://thesimplyluxuriouslife.com/podcast400

There is an awareness available to anyone who steps fully into their forties. It often happens a couple of years after turning the big 4 - 0, but it's there, waiting for each of us to realize we are half-way through (if we are so fortunate to live into our 90s) this beautiful gift called life.

This awareness prompts courage and discipline as well as motivation to just get about the business of living out the dreams we may have been too timid to try in our earlier years. We begin to see that taking care of our health is more than worth the investment. We begin to know that loving fully is the best thing to do for our life enjoyment even though we also know there will be great pain in the goodbye. That goodbye is a privilege only the brave experience by being wholly vulnerable, kind and truly giving of their true selves and accepting others as theirs.

The leaning is a good thing because we see over the handrail of life that we are fortunate to have this vantage point and we are not going to toss aside the wisdom gained along the way.

The leaning is both a gift and a motivator.

This year, as I celebrated my 46th birthday on the tail-end of February, I wanted to continue to the annual tradition of sharing what I have learned during the past twelve months. May it inspire you embrace life even more fully and bravely than you already are and enjoy each day all the more.

Explore this episode's Show Notes on The Simply Luxurious Life blog - https://thesimplyluxuriouslife.com/podcast399

"Taking back your power means reclaiming responsibility for your life. It means demanding more of yourself because time is ticking, and you've wasted enough of it worrying about things that don't matter. It means being laser focused on the things you can control, and not giving a single second to the things you can't . . . Let Me create a better life. A life that makes me proud. A life that makes me happy. A life where I use my precious energy to enjoy every single moment I will have . . . all it takes is two simple words: Let Me." —Mel Robbins, from her latest book The Let Them Theory

Let me.

With good reason, the first phrase of Mel Robbins' new book has been becoming commonplace, but as readers read the book, they begin to realize that if we only apply the Let Them theory to our lives, our lives will not change. It is the follow-up phrase, the action phrase that is Let Me that carries the magic that will change our lives should we brave enough to embrace it.

Many of the lessons shared throughout the book overlap what is shared here on TSLL and how to live a life of contentment, a life in which we take responsibility for what is in our control and let go of what is not. Easier said than done, so it is always helpful for many different teachers with their different approaches to extol the importance of this life transforming truth for living well, to finding peace in our days and fulfillment throughout our life journey.

In today's episode/post, we're going to explore what Let Me looks like in our everyday life, and if what is shared speaks to you, I highly recommend you picking up The Let Them Theory book, Mel Robbins book that was released on December 24, 2024.

~Find the Show Notes for this episode on The Simply Luxurious Life blog — https://thesimplyluxuriouslife.com/podcast398