The Single Spark with Chantelle the Coach (previously The Single Girl's Guide to Life)

Following on from Episode #6 on Loneliness, this episode of The Single Girl's Guide to Life answers the questions of "How do I make friends as an adult?", a burning question of son many millennials that don't feel like they have meaningful relationships in their lives.

There are 7.6 billion people across the globe, and nearly 67 million of them in the UK. There are ways to find these people, you just have to know how and what you're really looking for.

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Join the online community for networking, support and online interaction with a like-minded community of single women looking to make the most of single life, and that don't always want to be talking about dating, marriage and children!

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If this show is helpful to you, consider joining our amazing community of other single ladies at https://single-life-be-like.mn.co/ and you'll get access to monthly zoom meetings, The Single Girls Book Club and more!

The Single Girl's Guide to Life was created by Chantelle Dyson. Please send your feedback and questions to Chantelle on Instagram,  join our online community for discussion and support, follow Chantelle on TikTok, keep up with the Single Life blog, and join us at a Single Girls Club event.

And if you loved this episode, HIT SUBSCRIBE  to stay up to date for future, weekly episode of single life living.

FOLLOW: Instagram // Facebook // TikTok

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RESOURCES:

- Download my FREE Dating Non-Negotiables Guide

- Visit the website: www.chantellethecoach.com

- Follow for more single life content on Instagram: @ChantelleTheCoach

- Follow me on TikTok: @ChantelleTheCoach

And if you loved this episode, HIT SUBSCRIBE to stay up to date for your weekly dose of The Single Spark.

AD | SUPPORT THE SHOW (by purchasing through my Amazon links!):

Check out my Amazon store for single life inspo products (think solo date nights, personal development books etc)

Looking for bargains? Visit Amazon Haul for discount products straight to your door!

** The links provided here are affiliate links through the Amazon Associate programme. Each time you purchase through those links, I get a kickback at no additonal cost to you. By doing so, you help fund the podcast and all the work done to support singles, without you having to spend extra pennies! **

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Music from Ep 110 onwards by Kadien Music. Get your own podcast music here!
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life coaching for singles, how to be okay on you're own, overcoming loneliness, how to stop feeling lonely, single wo...

In this episode, Chantelle explores the concept of connection and how important it is as single millennials to make sure we're connecting. Discussing some of the concepts from Johann Hari's book, Lost Connections, and how the ways that we can lack connection is the reason that so many millennials might feel lonely or depressed in this present day.

Listen up for ways that you can create more connection in your life!

Like the show? I'd love to hear your review here! - Just a few words can make all the difference!

Follow Chantelle @chantellethecoach

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If this show is helpful to you, consider joining our amazing community of other single ladies at https://single-life-be-like.mn.co/ and you'll get access to monthly zoom meetings, The Single Girls Book Club and more!

The Single Girl's Guide to Life was created by Chantelle Dyson. Please send your feedback and questions to Chantelle on Instagram,  join our online community for discussion and support, follow Chantelle on TikTok, keep up with the Single Life blog, and join us at a Single Girls Club event.

And if you loved this episode, HIT SUBSCRIBE  to stay up to date for future, weekly episode of single life living.

FOLLOW: Instagram // Facebook // TikTok
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References:

Feel Better Live More Podcast Epiosde 94: Johann Hari on Everything You Know About Depression is Wrong
Feel Better Live More Podcast Episode 104: Dr David Hamilton on How Being Kind Hel

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RESOURCES:

- Download my FREE Dating Non-Negotiables Guide

- Visit the website: www.chantellethecoach.com

- Follow for more single life content on Instagram: @ChantelleTheCoach

- Follow me on TikTok: @ChantelleTheCoach

And if you loved this episode, HIT SUBSCRIBE to stay up to date for your weekly dose of The Single Spark.

AD | SUPPORT THE SHOW (by purchasing through my Amazon links!):

Check out my Amazon store for single life inspo products (think solo date nights, personal development books etc)

Looking for bargains? Visit Amazon Haul for discount products straight to your door!

** The links provided here are affiliate links through the Amazon Associate programme. Each time you purchase through those links, I get a kickback at no additonal cost to you. By doing so, you help fund the podcast and all the work done to support singles, without you having to spend extra pennies! **

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Music from Ep 110 onwards by Kadien Music. Get your own podcast music here!
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life coaching for singles, how to be okay on you're own, overcoming loneliness, how to stop feeling lonely, single wo...

It's a challenging time when the anniversary of your time together with your ex comes up. The day rolls back round again. It's a week or two away, but you know it's coming up soon.

Friends have offered to be around to distract you, and part of you wants the distraction, but you also know that it's only going to delay you from acknowledging the day. Whether that's with heap of tears, or a sense of relief, a reflection of where you've come from the break up to how strong you are now that you've been through it. 

Whether it was three months ago, or three years, you're bound to get all those feels coming up and the "what ifs" of what could've been and might've been play on your mind. You can't stop thinking about your ex and the life that you dreamt you had together - and though you've moved past the biggest struggle and let that vision go, the anniversary day triggers you in all kinds of ways that bring up the memories of first dates, Valentine's Days, and happy memories on previous anniversaries, including your wedding day for some. 

In this episode, I'll be exploring how you can approach the day and make sure you work through the day with the assurance that no matter what emotion it is, your feelings are valid. 

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Key Moments:

• "Your feelings are entirely valid for however you feel about this day."
• "Looking back, you think about the best bits of your relationship."
• "Distraction is not the best way to deal with anniversary-related thoughts and feelings."
• "Your time with that person and that magical day is still as magical as it was, or as magical as you choose to believe it was."
• "Look back at what you were doing this time last year. How far have you come from the last anniversary to this anniversary?"
• "What have you been able to do in your life now that you have not been with that person?"
• "You might be in a position where you can talk to your new partner about that, or it might not be something they're prepared to talk to you about, but still process it."

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Like the show? I'd love to hear your review here! - Just a few words can make all the difference!

Follow Chantelle the Coach @chantellethecoach

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RESOURCES:

- Download my FREE Dating Non-Negotiables Guide

- Visit the website: www.chantellethecoach.com

- Follow for more single life content on Instagram: @ChantelleTheCoach

- Follow me on TikTok: @ChantelleTheCoach

And if you loved this episode, HIT SUBSCRIBE to stay up to date for your weekly dose of The Single Spark.

AD | SUPPORT THE SHOW (by purchasing through my Amazon links!):

Check out my Amazon store for single life inspo products (think solo date nights, personal development books etc)

Looking for bargains? Visit Amazon Haul for discount products straight to your door!

** The links provided here are affiliate links through the Amazon Associate programme. Each time you purchase through those links, I get a kickback at no additonal cost to you. By doing so, you help fund the podcast and all the work done to support singles, without you having to spend extra pennies! **

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Music from Ep 110 onwards by Kadien Music. Get your own podcast music here!
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life coaching for singles, how to be okay on you're own, overcoming loneliness, how to stop feeling lonely, single wo...

We as millennials are the most connected generation so far. Though Gen Z might be hot on our heels, they're still in school or university, surrounded by hundreds of people (when we aren't in lockdown) and meeting hundreds of people, day-in, day-out.

Cut to your late 20s and beyond, and your social ties diminish. The house parties slow down, friends start to get married and have families of their own and we're all busy saving to move out, that we can't afford to go out and socialise.

But if you're so connected otherwise with the thousands of friends and followers we've accumulated through Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and beyond, then why do we still feel so lonely? Even if our friends are heading off into different directions, why are we finding it so hard to keep in touch and end up as the loneliest generation to date.

Proximity and exposure to new people is just one reason - but why do you feel that loneliness so much? Is it okay that you’re feeling this way?

Listen in to this week's episode to find out why millennials are so lonely and what might be catching you out to feel that way.

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If this show is helpful to you, consider joining our amazing community of other single ladies at https://single-life-be-like.mn.co/ and you'll get access to monthly zoom meetings, The Single Girls Book Club and more!

The Single Girl's Guide to Life was created by Chantelle Dyson. Please send your feedback and questions to Chantelle on Instagram,  join our online community for discussion and support, follow Chantelle on TikTok, keep up with the Single Life blog, and join us at a Single Girls Club event.

And if you loved this episode, HIT SUBSCRIBE  to stay up to date for future, weekly episode of single life living.

FOLLOW: Instagram // Facebook //

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RESOURCES:

- Download my FREE Dating Non-Negotiables Guide

- Visit the website: www.chantellethecoach.com

- Follow for more single life content on Instagram: @ChantelleTheCoach

- Follow me on TikTok: @ChantelleTheCoach

And if you loved this episode, HIT SUBSCRIBE to stay up to date for your weekly dose of The Single Spark.

AD | SUPPORT THE SHOW (by purchasing through my Amazon links!):

Check out my Amazon store for single life inspo products (think solo date nights, personal development books etc)

Looking for bargains? Visit Amazon Haul for discount products straight to your door!

** The links provided here are affiliate links through the Amazon Associate programme. Each time you purchase through those links, I get a kickback at no additonal cost to you. By doing so, you help fund the podcast and all the work done to support singles, without you having to spend extra pennies! **

-----
Music from Ep 110 onwards by Kadien Music. Get your own podcast music here!
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life coaching for singles, how to be okay on you're own, overcoming loneliness, how to stop feeling lonely, single wo...

When you go through a break up or divorce, everything is put into question.

“Was it even worth it?”
“Why didn’t it last forever?”
“Will I always be alone?”

And so many more.

But one question that you can think about, intentionally or otherwise is…
“What is love?” And not just those simple answers of… it’s a feeling, it’s the cute, romantic gestures someone does for you. But what is love, really?
And more importantly, “Is everything I knew about love wrong?!”

In this episode, Chantelle starts to scratch beyond the surface of what love really is, of what our relationships means and how you can look at love.

This week, Chantelle's delve into a theory on love that can help you to see you relationships and connections with more clarity and understanding so that you can look at where all your friendships sit and how they play a part in your life.

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Key Moments:

• "If you are going to venture back into dating, you want to be clear on what it is you're looking to fulfill and how easy it is to do that to say or what the likelihood of getting those things is."
• "Passion doesn't have to encompass anything sexual at all."
• "Relationships and connections can change in a day because they fluctuate based on what's going on."
• "Part of life is accepting that it's going to change, and no matter how many plans you put in place, there's always a curveball ready to catch you around the corner."
• "How could you use this model to inform developing your relationships, making them better, much stronger than they are, be that platonic or romantic connections?"

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RESOURCES:

- Download my FREE Dating Non-Negotiables Guide

- Visit the website: www.chantellethecoach.com

- Follow for more single life content on Instagram: @ChantelleTheCoach

- Follow me on TikTok: @ChantelleTheCoach

And if you loved this episode, HIT SUBSCRIBE to stay up to date for your weekly dose of The Single Spark.

AD | SUPPORT THE SHOW (by purchasing through my Amazon links!):

Check out my Amazon store for single life inspo products (think solo date nights, personal development books etc)

Looking for bargains? Visit Amazon Haul for discount products straight to your door!

** The links provided here are affiliate links through the Amazon Associate programme. Each time you purchase through those links, I get a kickback at no additonal cost to you. By doing so, you help fund the podcast and all the work done to support singles, without you having to spend extra pennies! **

-----
Music from Ep 110 onwards by Kadien Music. Get your own podcast music here!
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life coaching for singles, how to be okay on you're own, overcoming loneliness, how to stop feeling lonely, single wo...

We've all be there! You're starting to date someone, things are looking promising and then comes THAT time.... that time when you're messaging someone and they suddenly stop responding the way they did before.

You want to play it cool and give them time so you don't look "crazy" or "psycho", but they could at least  let you know why they haven't answered your question.

You head to Google to search when it's okay to message again. One article says 3 days, that gives him enough time. The other says, acknowledge it within 24-48 hours if you've been texting as regularly as that anyway. And another suggests you cut your losses and run, leave it in their court - if a guy wants to see you and get to know you, he'll text you!

So you end up even more confused than you were to start with!

In this episode, Chantelle discusses why we react the way we do, the dilemma of when to text back and a way to manage your reactions to not having a guy message back,  no matter how long you've been message.

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Key Moments:

• "What to do when you don't get a reply: This is literally the bane of anybody's life when you are in the mix of trying to date or just find people to connect with."
• "It's bloody horrible. And you can't help but associate the ghosting and the non-replies to you."
• "We, as women, tend to automatically blame ourselves. We always put that on ourselves and find it very difficult to set our boundaries."
• "There's no perfect way to handle this, but you can be happy with what you continue to do and what you learn."
• "It's difficult to be assertive but polite, but it's something that you have to do, and you only get better by practicing."
• "Communication is key in all of this."
  "What’s done is done. You can worry about, 'Did I make the right or wrong choice?' Ultimately, everything happens in this life for a reason."

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RESOURCES:

- Download my FREE Dating Non-Negotiables Guide

- Visit the website: www.chantellethecoach.com

- Follow for more single life content on Instagram: @ChantelleTheCoach

- Follow me on TikTok: @ChantelleTheCoach

And if you loved this episode, HIT SUBSCRIBE to stay up to date for your weekly dose of The Single Spark.

AD | SUPPORT THE SHOW (by purchasing through my Amazon links!):

Check out my Amazon store for single life inspo products (think solo date nights, personal development books etc)

Looking for bargains? Visit Amazon Haul for discount products straight to your door!

** The links provided here are affiliate links through the Amazon Associate programme. Each time you purchase through those links, I get a kickback at no additonal cost to you. By doing so, you help fund the podcast and all the work done to support singles, without you having to spend extra pennies! **

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Music from Ep 110 onwards by Kadien Music. Get your own podcast music here!
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life coaching for singles, how to be okay on you're own, overcoming loneliness, how to stop feeling lonely, single wo...

I'm sure you've wondered "Why haven't I got it all figured out yet?", "why am I the only one left when all my friends are settling down and having kids?".

It's easy to think that you should have all o f it figured out by the time you're 25, or at the very latest 30. But I'm here to reassure you that isn't the case.

Yes, a number of people follow that path. They heard what society said, what we were told from when we grew up, from our parents, teachers, friends, family, and other people we met along the way and most were telling the same story: when you grow up, you need to get a good job, buy a house, get married, have kids and settle down.

Now it's still not wrong to want those things. You might want exactly that or nothing at all, but to think you have to have it all worked out as to as and when just isn't the case.

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Key Moments:

• "We start by thinking that everybody has got it sussed out. Like, hands up if your friends are settling down, getting married, having kids, seem to have like their jobs all sussed, and living on their own, have their own place, and it’s all sorted."
• "It's this comparison culture that causes overwhelming feelings."
• "It's that conflict of pleasing ourselves or pleasing others."
• "You are not alone in the experience."
• "Action is the key here."
• "In 10 years’ time, if you're still in the same scenario you are now in that area, would you regret it?"
• "Life is not about following the same system for all of us, it's about finding the right system for us."

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RESOURCES:

- Download my FREE Dating Non-Negotiables Guide

- Visit the website: www.chantellethecoach.com

- Follow for more single life content on Instagram: @ChantelleTheCoach

- Follow me on TikTok: @ChantelleTheCoach

And if you loved this episode, HIT SUBSCRIBE to stay up to date for your weekly dose of The Single Spark.

AD | SUPPORT THE SHOW (by purchasing through my Amazon links!):

Check out my Amazon store for single life inspo products (think solo date nights, personal development books etc)

Looking for bargains? Visit Amazon Haul for discount products straight to your door!

** The links provided here are affiliate links through the Amazon Associate programme. Each time you purchase through those links, I get a kickback at no additonal cost to you. By doing so, you help fund the podcast and all the work done to support singles, without you having to spend extra pennies! **

-----
Music from Ep 110 onwards by Kadien Music. Get your own podcast music here!
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life coaching for singles, how to be okay on you're own, overcoming loneliness, how to stop feeling lonely, single wo...

That's it, the UK is set to open back up after a lengthy and slow release out of lockdown and dating is back on the scene. 

The summer vibes are coming (even if it doesn't look that way right now!) but you haven't dated for AGES! I know some of you are a bit wary - that's okay, it's a different world out there now and you have the right to take it easy. And there's also others of you at the other end of the spectrum that just want to get out there and mingle at a bar and dance the night away.

Dating is one of the toughest games in the business. There's so much casual rejection in dating apps, it's effortful and tiresome, but from my own experiences and from talking to other single women, I've put together dating advice for ways of managing your experience particularly coming out of lockdown to date. 

Whether your single, separated or divorced, follow these tips for making the most of the experience if you're looking to get back to dating.

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Key Moments:

• "Make sure you still put yourself first."
• "No date is a waste of time."
• "No matter who you're spending time with, if you've done the video date first, hopefully whatever experience you had and whatever decision gets made about moving forwards or not, you’re having fun in the moment."

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RESOURCES:

- Download my FREE Dating Non-Negotiables Guide

- Visit the website: www.chantellethecoach.com

- Follow for more single life content on Instagram: @ChantelleTheCoach

- Follow me on TikTok: @ChantelleTheCoach

And if you loved this episode, HIT SUBSCRIBE to stay up to date for your weekly dose of The Single Spark.

AD | SUPPORT THE SHOW (by purchasing through my Amazon links!):

Check out my Amazon store for single life inspo products (think solo date nights, personal development books etc)

Looking for bargains? Visit Amazon Haul for discount products straight to your door!

** The links provided here are affiliate links through the Amazon Associate programme. Each time you purchase through those links, I get a kickback at no additonal cost to you. By doing so, you help fund the podcast and all the work done to support singles, without you having to spend extra pennies! **

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Music from Ep 110 onwards by Kadien Music. Get your own podcast music here!
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life coaching for singles, how to be okay on you're own, overcoming loneliness, how to stop feeling lonely, single wo...

u"Help - I'm still single, what do I?!" Well, don't panic, you aren't the only one and being in a relationship is not the end of the world.

There are a million reasons why you don't want to be single - you want to move out of your parent's house, you don't want to be alone forever, and you don't want to be the only one not getting married and settling down.

And there are also a million things you're doing to make the situation worse - like constantly wishing you weren't single, getting yourself worked up about never being in love again and comparing yourself to where everyone else is at in life.

Well, I've been there! In 2019, I was a divorced, 20-something, millennial and for the first time as an adult, I was single.

And I had all these feels just like you, wondering what went wrong and if I'd ever make it out of this situation. Plus I was making all the classic mistakes that you do after a break up like trying to date again way too early.

But I worked through these feelings. I took action and I shifted my mindset  - and two years on, I'm still single and literally, SO happy about that.

In this episode, you'll learn to keep control of your own happiness and you'll realise that living life as a single woman isn't all that bad when you think about it in the end, as I share 8 ways you can make the most of your single life so that you can enjoy this journey, rather than get stressed out about "being on track" all the time.

So which one of the eight are you going to make the most of this week?

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Key Moments:

• "Your happiness is within your behaviors; the way I act, what I do, and the actions I take, not with the end result of achieving something that is ultimately out of my control."
• "You are in fact completely and utterly enough, and you aren't going to be on your own forever."
• "You have to get used to the idea that if you really were the only person left in the world and you only had yourself to rely on, you would be okay."
• "It's important that you do question things because we kind of prescribed what love and relationships should look like."
• "Love is love, whatever form it takes."
• "You take ownership of your life, not just in your decisions, not just in your time, not just in your love and relationship, but you are fully empowered in your single state to reflect

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RESOURCES:

- Download my FREE Dating Non-Negotiables Guide

- Visit the website: www.chantellethecoach.com

- Follow for more single life content on Instagram: @ChantelleTheCoach

- Follow me on TikTok: @ChantelleTheCoach

And if you loved this episode, HIT SUBSCRIBE to stay up to date for your weekly dose of The Single Spark.

AD | SUPPORT THE SHOW (by purchasing through my Amazon links!):

Check out my Amazon store for single life inspo products (think solo date nights, personal development books etc)

Looking for bargains? Visit Amazon Haul for discount products straight to your door!

** The links provided here are affiliate links through the Amazon Associate programme. Each time you purchase through those links, I get a kickback at no additonal cost to you. By doing so, you help fund the podcast and all the work done to support singles, without you having to spend extra pennies! **

-----
Music from Ep 110 onwards by Kadien Music. Get your own podcast music here!
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life coaching for singles, how to be okay on you're own, overcoming loneliness, how to stop feeling lonely, single wo...

Find our what The Single Girl's Guide to Life has in store for you ahead of the first every podcast episode later this week.

In this 2.5 minute trailer, you'll get a taster of what's to come in these weekly podcasts episodes and be introduced to your Host, Chantelle the Coach.

Like the show? I'd love to hear your review here! - Just a few words can make all the difference!

Follow Chantelle @chantellethecoach

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Single life can feel lonely! Whether you live alone or live with others, the follow up of a break up can make you feel like you don't know who you are any more, that you aren't sure where you belong and fit in and that being all on your own whilst everyone else is settling down and getting married makes you the odd-ball. And to help with that feeling, I've created a FREE 3-part training course on managing loneliness as a single millennial. Click here to get access!

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RESOURCES:

- Download my FREE Dating Non-Negotiables Guide

- Visit the website: www.chantellethecoach.com

- Follow for more single life content on Instagram: @ChantelleTheCoach

- Follow me on TikTok: @ChantelleTheCoach

And if you loved this episode, HIT SUBSCRIBE to stay up to date for your weekly dose of The Single Spark.

AD | SUPPORT THE SHOW (by purchasing through my Amazon links!):

Check out my Amazon store for single life inspo products (think solo date nights, personal development books etc)

Looking for bargains? Visit Amazon Haul for discount products straight to your door!

** The links provided here are affiliate links through the Amazon Associate programme. Each time you purchase through those links, I get a kickback at no additonal cost to you. By doing so, you help fund the podcast and all the work done to support singles, without you having to spend extra pennies! **

-----
Music from Ep 110 onwards by Kadien Music. Get your own podcast music here!
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life coaching for singles, how to be okay on you're own, overcoming loneliness, how to stop feeling lonely, single wo...