Injecting diabetes drugs to lose weight. Surviving on 800 calories. Wrapping ourselves in plastic. Fasting for days and calling it a "protocol."

When did this become normal?

In this episode, I'm asking the question nobody wants to ask anymore: Does any of this actually make sense?

The answer is no. And that's not an accident.

The diet industry didn't just fail us. It broke us. It manufactured our desperation, and then sold us increasingly extreme "solutions" that were never designed to work long-term. They were designed to keep us coming back.

Today, we start at the beginning. How we got here. Why we stopped trusting ourselves. And what it's going to take to reclaim the common sense that was stolen from us.

In this episode:

1. The absurdity we've normalized in the name of "health"
2. How desperation replaces wisdom and why the diet industry counts on it
3. The difference between "Does this make sense?" and "Will this finally work?"
4. Why every failure pushed you further from your own judgment
5. The rigged game and how to stop playing

We treat dieting like a reset button.

We assume we can wipe the slate clean with a new plan and fresh discipline. But the brain keeps a record.

In this episode, we explore the neuroscience of the "Diet Trap" and how chronic restriction creates a "Hunger Highway" that makes food noise louder and willpower weaker.

We stop blaming your character and start looking at the engine—specifically, how to shift from a "Red State" of threat to a "Blue State" of safety to finally turn down the noise.

Important points discussed:

1. The Willpower Gap: Why you are working twice as hard for half the results compared to ten years ago.
2. The Hunger Highway: How neuroplasticity physically rewires your brain to become efficient at being hungry.
3. Red State vs. Blue State: Understanding why your brain interprets a calorie deficit as a survival threat.
4. The Binge Logic: Why bingeing is not a failure of discipline, but a successful biological rescue mission.
5. Radical Maintenance: The counter-intuitive protocol required to heal the metabolic damage and shut off the alarm bells.

Action Step: Stop the deficit. This week, your goal is "Radical Maintenance." Feed your body consistently to convince your brain the famine is over. You cannot rehabilitate a damaged organ while you are still attacking it.

In this follow-up to our deep dive on Interoception, we tackle the real-world struggles of reconnecting with your body.

We discuss why you might feel "numb" when you try to scan your body, why some people feel hungry 24/7 (and what it really means), and whether you can heal your relationship with food while still tracking calories.

Key Questions Answered:

1. What if I do the body scan and feel absolutely nothing?
2. Why does it feel like I’m hungry every waking hour?
3. Do I have to delete MyFitnessPal to learn intuitive eating?
4. How do I find the "stop" signal when I’m used to cleaning my plate?
5. I know it’s anxiety, not hunger—but I still want to eat. Now what?

Action Step: Try the "Halftime Pause". At your next meal, stop eating when your food is half gone. Put the fork down for two minutes. Don’t look at your phone. Just sit. Give your satiety signal time to travel from your gut to your brain.

The Somatic Signature of Hunger: Why You Can't Tell When You're Actually Hungry

Episode Summary: You’ve been told to "listen to your body" and "eat when you're hungry." 

But what if you’ve been listening for years and hear absolutely nothing until you’re starving? In this episode, we dismantle the myth of Intuitive Eating for chronic dieters. We explore the neuroscience of interoception, your body’s internal dashboard, and how years of restriction have effectively cut the wire between your gut and your brain.

If you feel like you're flying blind without a calorie tracker, this episode explains why and how to turn the lights back on.

Important points:

• The "Deafness" of Dieting: How ignoring hunger signals for years has trained your brain to treat biological cues as background noise.
• Interoception 101: Understanding the "8th sense" and the role of the Insula in regulating your weight.
• The Intuitive Eating Trap: Why standard advice to "trust your gut" backfires for dieters who have lost their somatic connection.
• High & Buzzy vs. Low & Hollow: A practical tool to distinguish between anxiety (nervous system activation) and true biological hunger.
• Rebuilding the Hardware: Why you need "physical therapy" for your interoception before you can successfully eat intuitively.

Action Step: Practice the Non-Food Body Scan three times a day. Stop for 30 seconds and locate a sensation (temperature, pressure, heartbeat) that has nothing to do with food. You are retraining your brain to receive data from the body again.

In this Q&A, we go deeper into the concept of Identity vs. Discipline.

We tackle the specific, messy roadblocks that popped up after Monday’s episode—specifically the fear that identity work is just "delusional" and the exhaustion of the evening binge.

Questions Answered:

• The Evening Crash: Why you have zero discipline after 5:00 PM (and why it’s not your fault).
• Imposter Syndrome: Is "acting" like a healthy person just lying to yourself?
• Identity Grief: What happens when your whole personality is tied to being the "funny fat friend"?
• When It "Fails": I asked the identity question and still ate the cookie. Now what?
• Starting Small: How to shift identity when you have 100+ lbs to lose.

Key Takeaway: Transformation is a grieving process. You have to be willing to "kill" the old version of yourself to give birth to the new one. This isn't just about calories; it's about who you are in the world.

We are taught that weight loss is a test of character.

If you are overweight, society tells you it’s because you lack the willpower to say "no." You likely believe this too. You wake up every Monday promising to be "better," to white-knuckle your way through cravings, and to force your body into submission.

But by Friday (or Tuesday night), you’re exhausted, and the binge feels inevitable.

In this episode, I’m challenging the holy grail of diet culture: Discipline.

I explain why relying on willpower is actually a symptom of a misaligned identity, not a solution. We discuss why discipline is a finite battery that will always fail you when you are tired, and how to shift into an "Identity Mindset" where making healthy choices feels as natural as brushing your teeth.

Important points from episode:

• The Battery Problem: Discipline is a finite resource. Every time you stifle an emotion, focus on a hard task, or say "no" to a donut, you drain the battery. By 8:00 PM, you aren't weak—you are depleted.
• Identity vs. Acting: Most dieters are "actors" playing the role of a healthy person. It takes immense energy to stay in character. The goal is to stop acting and start being.
• The Rubber Band Effect: Trying to change your body without changing your identity is like running against a rubber band attached to a post. Eventually, the tension snaps you back. Identity work moves the post.
• Friction vs. Flow: Discipline asks, "How can I force myself to do this?" Identity asks, "Who do I believe I am?"

Action Step: Next time you feel the need to use "discipline" to make a choice, pause. Ask yourself: "What would the version of me who has already succeeded do in this moment?" Borrow that identity for just ten seconds.

In this Q&A episode, we follow up on our deep dive into Polyvagal Theory to answer your real-life questions about nervous system regulation.

We tackle the fear that self-compassion is just "making excuses," practical tips for regulating your anxiety in public, and the terrifying (but necessary) shift away from restriction to stop the binge cycle.

Important Points Covered

1. Can You Be in Two States at Once? Yes. We discuss "mixed states" (like feeling "wired but tired") where you might experience anxiety and numbness simultaneously. The solution isn't a perfect label, but asking: "Do I need to discharge energy or do I need comfort right now?"
2. The Fear of Losing "The Stick" (Shame) We address the common fear that without shame and strict rules, you'll eat everything in sight. We explain why shame is actually a danger signal that keeps the binge cycle going, and why safety is the only environment where true self-control can exist.
3. When the Tools "Don't Work" If you used a somatic tool (like shaking) and still binged, you didn't fail. We reframe this as a win because you created a pause and awareness. Nervous system retraining is about repetition, not immediate perfection.
4. Stealth Regulation for Public Spaces You can't shake your body in a meeting. We offer "Stealth Tools" for social situations, including the "Grounding Press" (feet on floor), the physiological sigh, and using cold water on your wrists to reset the vagus nerve discreetly.
5. Safety vs. Weight Loss We tackle the hard truth: You cannot heal a body you are threatening with restriction. We discuss why prioritizing nervous system safety (stopping the famine signal) is actually the fastest path to stabilizing your weight and ending the binge urge.

It is normal to feel scared when you put down the weapon of shame. But remember, you are trading the illusion of control for actual freedom. If you try one of the "Stealth Tools" this week, I'd love to hear how it went! Hit reply to my newsletter or tag me in your stories.

Key Takeaway Shame is not a strategy; it is a safety threat. True change only happens when your nervous system feels safe enough to let go of the old patterns.

In this episode, we explore the biological reason why willpower so often fails in the face of binge eating.

We dive into Polyvagal Theory to understand how your autonomic nervous system hijacks your decision-making to keep you safe, explaining why you can't simply "discipline" your way out of a survival response.

You'll discover why your body is actually trying to protect you when it demands food, and how to create true safety without relying on the pantry.

Important Points Covered

1. Why Willpower is No Match for Biology We discuss the uncomfortable truth that binge eating is often a biological safety response, not a character flaw. When your nervous system senses a threat, it shuts down the logical part of your brain (the prefrontal cortex), making it physically impossible to access your "willpower" or long-term goals during a stress response.
2. The Three States of Your Nervous System We break down the "traffic light" system of your body: the Green State (safe and social), the Red State (fight or flight), and the Blue State (freeze or shutdown). You'll learn how to identify which state you are in based on whether you are craving crunchy, aggressive foods (Red State) or soft, comforting foods (Blue State).
3. Reframing the Binge as a Safety Solution Here is the part most people don't want to hear: your bingeing is actually a functional solution your body found to regulate your nervous system. We explain how the physical act of eating massages the Vagus nerve, providing immediate chemical relief from anxiety or numbness, which is why it feels so addictive.
4. The Danger of Restriction We look at why the standard advice to "go on a diet" inevitably backfires for emotional eaters. To your primitive brain, restriction looks like starvation, which acts as a massive danger signal. This pushes you right back into the "Red State," creating a vicious cycle where trying to be "good" actually triggers the next binge.
5. Practical Tools for Somatic Safety We move beyond theory into action with "Somatic Resourcing"—using your body to change your state instead of food. You'll learn specific physical movements to discharge anxious energy (like shaking or pushing) and gentle techniques to wake up from a shutdown (like humming or weighted blankets).

Your body has never been your enemy; it has been your protector, working overtime to help you survive stress.

If this episode resonated with you, I'd love to hear which "state" you find yourself in most often—Red or Blue? Reply to this week's newsletter. I'll see you Thursday for our Q&A, where we'll dive deeper into how to navigate these nervous system storms in real-time.

Key Takeaway Binge eating is not a sign that you are broken or weak; it is a sign that your nervous system is desperately trying to regulate itself to keep you safe.

When you transform your relationship with food, you don't just change your behaviors - you change who you are.

This episode reveals the uncomfortable truth about identity grief: to become someone who naturally takes care of their body, you have to grieve the loss of being "someone who struggles with food."

This grief is real, necessary, and completely normal - but no one talks about it.

1. Identity Loss is Real Being "someone who struggles" has served you - it provided sympathy, understanding, community, and explanations for difficulties. Losing this identity, even though it was painful, involves genuine grief.

2. Why No One Talks About This The wellness industry focuses on behaviors, not psychology. Grief feels negative when transformation should feel positive. It's easier to sell the destination than prepare people for the complex psychological journey.

3. What the Grief Looks Like Missing the simplicity of diet rules, feeling disconnected from friends still in diet culture, losing the "someday" fantasy, and feeling scared about who you're becoming. All normal parts of deep transformation.

4. This is Actually Good News Identity grief means you're changing at the deepest level possible. Surface-level changes don't involve grief - only real transformation does. If you're feeling this, the work is working.

5. How to Navigate It Name the grief, be gentle with yourself, find support from people who understand identity change, and remember that grief and growth can coexist.

If you're experiencing this grief, you're not broken or failing - you're growing.

Real transformation involves letting go of who you used to be to become who you're meant to be. Join us Wednesday for the Q&A episode where we'll dive deeper into your questions about navigating identity grief.

Identity grief during transformation is a sign that deep change is happening. You can miss your old self while still growing into your new self - both feelings can coexist and are completely normal.

Addressing the real fears and challenges of identity transformation.

This Q&A episode tackles common concerns about changing your food-related identity, from feeling "fake" when trying new behaviors to handling setbacks and unsupportive people during your transformation journey.

The belief "I'm someone who struggles with food" isn't who you ARE, it's who you've LEARNED to be. You weren't born struggling with food - you learned these patterns and can unlearn them. Try shifting from "I struggle with food" to "I'm learning to have a healthy relationship with food."

Acting like your new identity feels uncomfortable at first because you're trying on new behaviors. This isn't evidence you can't change - it's evidence you're growing. Authenticity comes AFTER behavior change, not before. Keep acting like your new identity even when it feels weird.

One binge doesn't cancel three days of evidence collection. Old patterns will surge back as your brain tries to maintain familiar territory. Handle setbacks like someone who naturally takes care of their body: see them as information, not failure. Don't let one setback erase multiple days of growth.

Small shifts happen within 1-2 weeks, deeper integration takes 2-3 months, and full identity transformation typically requires 6-12 months. Unlike diets that get harder over time, identity work gets easier as you collect more evidence and strengthen new neural pathways.

Family and friends may resist your changes because your growth threatens their comfort zone. Set gentle boundaries and don't let their discomfort stop your transformation. Your job isn't to make everyone comfortable with your growth - it's to become who you're meant to be.

Continue collecting evidence for your new identity one small choice at a time.

Don't aim for perfection - aim for consistency. Trust that you can become someone who naturally takes care of their body, even when it feels unfamiliar. Keep sending questions about identity work as this is where real transformation happens.

"Identity change isn't about perfection - it's about consistency. You're not just changing what you do, you're changing who you are. And that changes everything. Feeling uncomfortable during the process is evidence you're growing, not evidence you can't change."