How do current laws and beliefs perpetuate opportunities for sexual abuse of people, specifically children, immigrants, trans people, BIPOC, and sex workers? Let’s talk with an Executive Director for a nonprofit that supports survivors and offers resources, the Cupcake Girls.

2:00 meet our guest - why does a civilian work in anti-trafficking?

5:00 police abuse in oregon 

10:00 *deep breath reminder*

13:00 doctors, lawyers, nurses might Out or report sex workers to police

17:00 examples of how criminalization hurts people

20:00 critically question your spirituality 

21:00 more examples of how criminalization hurts people

25:00 domestic violence can link to sex trafficking 

29:00 generational trafficking is more common than you might think

35:00 resource for secondary trauma - emma sullivan

39:00 tips for talking with a partner about trauma

43:00 sex workers are taxpayers too, LOL

50:00 most anti-trafficking organizations require people to quit sex work to receive services

55:00 How to donate

1:00:00 planes and flights with people being transported 

1:05:00 gender myths and trafficking
1:10:00 don’t make assumptions 

FIND YOUR GUESTt cupcakegirls.org

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 Let’s talk about genital self-touch with author Vic Liu and learn from Bang For All - their inclusive book on masturbation.

2:00 why write a sex ed book on masturbation

10:00 how masturbation can be good for you

13:00 masturbation myths

20:00 how to increase sensitivity in your vulva

25:00 be mindful of your anal play

27:00 anal numbing creams are so dangerous 

32:00 vibrator dependency - why the brain can rely on simple methods

40:00 elle asked listeners: what have you masturbated with?

47:00 why teach sex education to k-12?

49:00 child sexual abuse *trigger*

52:00 resources 

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Which sexual scripts and stereotypes do you follow, even if they don’t feel good or make sense? Dr Chris Donaghue explains how to have sex outside the lines and expand your skills and attitudes with yourself and partners.

5:00 throw out your expectations about what sex “should” be like 

12:00 approach a partner’s body with curiosity regardless of gender

18:00 controversial idea: fluid and expansive educators will understand sexuality better

25:00 trying new things all the time 

30:00 goth kids do it in the cemetery 

33:00 dirty talk tips

39:00 everybody likes different things, sexually

44:00 using toys: our entire bodies can be stimulated

52:00 on “heteroflexible” as a term 

57:00 other examples of sexual scripts

1:00:00 resource requests

FIND YOUR GUEST: https://www.drchrisdonaghue.com

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What can it mean to be kinky and how can we play more safely and creatively? Domina Franco M.Ed has two decades of experience and gives advice and info about kink play and trauma. 

4:00 what is kink? 

8:00 how some types of play and relationships are pathologized 

12:00 on being a joyful sadist and human furniture 

20:00 slut play 

28:00 a theory on why some people love submission

32:00 Consensual Non-consent play or “rape role play”

40:00 how to screen for safer dominant partners

45:00 topping is a sacred responsibility

54:00 mint green bandanas mean mommy kink

1:00:00 book recommendations on kink and BDSM

FIND YOUR GUEST https://www.dominafranco.com

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We all experience jealousy and feel it on a spectrum: learn how to manage it with relationship-building expert Dr Joli Hamilton.

3:00 different relationship styles 

6:00 why call it CNM instead of ENM 

14:00 what purposes does jealousy serve?

18:00 people don’t like identifying they are jealous - feeling shame about feeling jealous

19:00 how mismanaged jealousy can do great harm

24:00 how do I ask to open up an existing relationship? 

29:00 I hate my partner’s partner - what to do?

38:00 how to own your jealousy

48:00 germophobes and sharing

52:00 celebrities who can’t be open

55:00 polyamorous and parenting rights?

1:00:00 stories can be helpful

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How to run yourself as a more sustainable, cheerful and profitable business: business coach Carmen Santos from Racks-to -Riches offers advice for veteran strippers, baby strippers, and civilians.

1:10 most of us auditioning have zero or little knowledge of how to do the jobs

4:00 communication and sales skills matter

7:00 viewing yourself as a business

10:00 intergenerational and gender issues relating to financial education

15:00 employee vs contractor status

17:00 annoying things that clients do - don’t do these!

24:00 how to deal with those same old questions

36:00 alcohol wears people down

40:00 how to reframe aging in sex industries

45:00 privacy and disclosure advice

49:00 social media use is energy

53:00 bad legislation and laws 

55:00 what makes a good club

59:00 business advice resources 

Follow your host on Patreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

FIND YOUR GUEST: RackstoRiches.com

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1:03:00 on dating yourself 

Facts, FAQs and communication about a common virus that many of us live with, with herpes educator and suicide-prevention organizer Courtney Brame.

2:00 - herpes diagnoses can make people suicidal

7:00 - shame about COVID and herpes 

12:00 - skin friction is how herpes is transmitted, sexually or not

19:00 - mental health and sexuality

26:00 - disclosure: when should I?

30:00 - the three most common responses to “I have herpes”

38:00 - different ways to disclose to partners

42:00 - therapists should be herpes literate 

52:00 - immune system support is critical

1:00:00 - what's' it like telling strangers you have herpes, regularly?

FIND YOUR GUEST: SPFPP.org

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Sex coach and author Stella Harris offers advice and tips on how to prep, plan and practice pleasure with three or more partners.

4:00 why do people want to have threesomes?

8:00 conflict is perhaps more likely with more people interacting

12:00 having sex positive friends creates more opportunity for pleasure 

17:00 on web options or paying for it

24:00 how do you meet people for a third?

27:00 sci-fi and fantasy nerds often engage in sexual diversity

35:00 options for play that don’t involve fluid exchange or penetration 

45:00 perks of being a unicorn

50:00 most porn is not education

59:00 bisexuality in men isn’t as supported 

1:03:00 fantasy is not the same as reality

1:07:00 more resource recommendations

FIND YOUR GUEST at StellaHarris.net

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Clinician and author Silva Neves explains common misconceptions about so-called “sex addiction” and gives help to folks navigating distressing concerns about their own sexualities.

4:00 Lack of sexuality training with sex workers 

7:30 sex addiction type treatment is shaming of people 

9:40 why “sex addiction” is not an accurate term

11:00 your body doesn’t withdraw from lack of sex, and can’t OD on sex

19:00 trauma and attachment 

20:00 non-monogamy 

25:00 sex positivity includes body positivity 

Fetishes, poly, kinky, sex workers, disability, queer, asexual all need to be included in sex therapy

27:00 what sex-positive really means

29:00 asexuality is real 

31:00 conversion “therapy”

36:00 How to share a trauma story with partners

40:00 porn doesn't make people violent

47:00 relational trauma is common 

51:00 what is digisesxuality?

53:00 what is chemsex?

59:00 how to surf your emotions

1:11:00 monogamy is a christian concept

FIND YOUR GUEST: https://silvaneves.co.uk

FIND YOUR HOST stripperwriter.com

See Elle’s $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Sponsored by our friends at NetherlandsWax.com

Condoms and Lube can be found on Condomania.com - code THEYTALKSEX for a discounted first order!

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Thanks for rating and reviewing this podcast :)