Todd and Cathy talk with Cara Natterson MD and Vanessa Kroll Bennett, authors of This Is So Awkward, Modern Puberty Explained.  We share experiences and motivations for focusing on puberty and sex education. They also discussed the differences between traditional and progressive education systems, the influence of pornography on societal attitudes towards body hair, and the challenges parents face in navigating conversations about puberty and sexuality with their children. The group agreed on the importance of open communication, maintaining physical affection, and promoting bodily autonomy and agency in these conversations. 

For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.

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Authors of “This Is So Awkward

In the meeting, Todd and Kathy welcomed Cara Natterson and Vanessa Kroll Bennett, the authors of “This is So Awkward,” a podcast focusing on helping parents navigate puberty and adolescence. Cara is a pediatrician and best-selling author, while Vanessa is an educator and founder of Dynamo Girl, a program supporting girls’ confidence through sports and puberty education. The discussion was informal and conversational, with the hosts and guests sharing personal details about their lives and families.

Balancing Traditional and Progressive Education

Cara and Todd discuss the differences between traditional and progressive education systems, particularly focusing on exams and emotional intelligence. Cara shares her children’s experience transitioning from a progressive high school without exams to college, noting their initial struggle but eventual adaptation. Less describes her children’s school’s approach to exams, which balances academic assessment with emotional well-being. The group agrees that schools can incorporate both traditional and progressive elements, but it requires a willingness to change established practices and consider new approaches to scheduling and student well-being.

Harlan Cohen’s Advice and LA Fires

In the meeting, Less and Todd discussed their acquaintance, Harlan Cohen, who provides advice on managing college life. Todd shared his experience of sending Harlan’s content to his daughter. The conversation then shifted to Cara, who shared her personal experience of living close to the mandatory evacuation zone during the fires in LA. She expressed the city’s struggle with leadership and the emotional response to the fires. Todd acknowledged the destruction and thanked Cara for her insights, mentioning that people around the country were thinking about her and donating to recommended charities.

Puberty Education and Parental Roles

Todd, Vanessa, and Cara discussed their experiences and motivations for focusing on puberty and sex education. Vanessa shared how her coaching experience led her to found a company focused on girls’ emotional development, and she discovered the need for puberty education after coaching elementary school girls. Cara, a pediatrician, started writing parenting books and was introduced to the topic of puberty through her work with American Girl. Both agreed that puberty education is crucial due to the earlier onset of puberty in girls. The conversation then shifted to the roles of mothers and fathers in discussing puberty and sex with their children. Cara emphasized the need for both parents to be involved in these conversations, as the traditional approach of separating boys and girls for such discussions is outdated and limiting.

Maintaining Physical Affection in Children

In the meeting, the participants discussed the importance of maintaining physical affection and connection with children as they grow older. They highlighted the need for parents, particularly fathers, to continue showing love and affection even as their children develop and may not want to be hugged or cuddled as much. The group also discussed the challenges of navigating changing bodies and the importance of open communication about these changes. They emphasized the need for parents to be aware of their children’s needs and to adapt their approach to maintain a strong connection. The conversation also touched on the cultural shift towards more open displays of affection, particularly among teenage boys. The participants agreed that these conversations are essential for healthy relationships and to prevent feelings of shame or embarrassment.

Body Hair and Societal Attitudes

The participants discussed the influence of pornography on societal attitudes towards body hair, particularly pubic hair. They noted that the trend of body hair removal, especially among young people, has been escalating over the years. The conversation also touched on the concept of “manscaping” and how it has become a rite of passage for teenage boys. The group expressed concern about the negative messages young people are receiving about body hair and the need for constant reinforcement of natural body hair. They also discussed the impact of these attitudes on both boys and girls.

Body Hair Removal Trends and Etiquette

The discussion focuses on body hair removal trends and their implications. Todd and Cara talk about the marketing of hair removal products and the increasing popularity of permanent hair removal methods among young people. Cara emphasizes the importance of educating youth about the long-term consequences of permanent hair removal, as trends change over time. The conversation then shifts to the practical purposes of body hair, including eyebrows, pubic hair, and nose hair. The group concludes by discussing the importance of personal grooming and the etiquette of informing others about visible food or grooming issues.

Navigating Puberty Conversations With Kids

Todd, Cara, and Vanessa discussed the challenges parents face in navigating conversations about puberty and sexuality with their children. They emphasized the importance of using anatomically correct terminology, promoting bodily autonomy and agency, and discussing consent from an early age. They also addressed the issue of parents feeling overwhelmed by the rapid changes in the world and the need for updated, reliable information. The trio agreed to continue their work in providing such information through their podcast and book. They also expressed their desire to collaborate with Todd in the future.