I was thrilled to have the chance to talk with Alfie Kohn about parenting and differently wired kids and dig into the concepts that many consider highly provocative and controversial because in many ways they are a radical departure from more traditional approaches to parenting, praise, rewards, punishments, discipline, and motivation.

If you haven’t been exposed to Alfie’s work before, I encourage you to listen with an open mind and curiosity. Some of the concepts he shares today may challenge your ideas about raising kids, but if you know me, I deeply believe there is value is reconsidering everything we thought we knew about parenting. After having this conversation with Alfie, I became even more aware of things I was doing that I wanted to tweak as a way to better support Asher’s growth, and I’ve already noticed a difference in what’s happening in my family dynamic. I hope you get out a lot out of our conversation.

Alfie Kohn writes and speaks widely on human behavior, education, and parenting. The author of fourteen books and scores of articles, he lectures at education conferences and universities as well as to parent groups and corporations. Kohn’s criticisms of competition and rewards have been widely discussed and debated, and he has been described in Time magazine as “perhaps the country’s most outspoken critic of education’s fixation on grades [and] test scores.”

Things you’ll learn from this episode

Resources mentioned about unconditional parenting

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This week I’m talking with Julie Skolnick, the founder of With Understanding Comes Calm, an organization with a mission of empowering parents, educators, and professionals to bring out the best and raise self esteem in their twice exceptional (2e) children, students, clients, and themselves through education, tailor made strategies, and advocacy training.

I initially reached out to Julie about having her on the show because she does a lot of in-the-classroom training, helping educators better understand and recognize their twice exceptional students and learn tools and strategies for supporting them. Because finding the right educational fit is perhaps the biggest challenge for parents raising 2e kids, I was hoping Julie could offer us the solution to this problem and tell us exactly what we could do to get our kids’ teachers on board. But when Julie and I had our pre-interview conversation a few weeks before recording this, she made it clear that there is no easy answer—the work is difficult, there’s a lot of resistance, and progress is slow. While I can’t promise any magic solution to the issue of how to educate 2e kids, I can promise that in our conversation Julie shares a number of powerful tools and strategies for how we as parents can powerfully advocate for our kids and understand them as learners so we can show up as the best parent we can be.

THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:

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 Dr. Devorah Heitner, a digital media and technology expert and the author of "Screenwise" talks about how parents can mentor their kids to develop a healthy relationship with screens (phones, online games, and more).

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Melissa Sornick, LCSW and Maratea Cantarella of TECA (Twice Exceptional Children's Advocacy) take us behind the scenes of the top resource for parents raising 2e kids.

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Educator and Parent Coach Alison Bower shares both an educator's and a parent's POV on what it looks like when it becomes clear a school isn't a fit for a differently-wired child.For more information, visit the show notes at http://www.tiltparenting.com/session125

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Author and gifted education advocate Deb Douglas explains the importance of helping gifted learners advocate for themselves, as well as how parents can support them in doing so.

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Executive functioning/education coach Seth Perler explores the concept of resistance in differently-wired kids and shares strategies and tools for how parents can support their kids in learning how to face their resistance.

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Executive functioning/education coach Seth Perler talks with 14-year-old Asher about resistance—what it is, why it shows up, how it gets in kids' ways, and what to do about it. This is a special back-to-school episode aimed at kids.

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