A high conflict ex can turn stepfamily life into a nightmare. How can stepparents keep from getting cooked ourselves?

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It literally took years for Dan & I to get on the same page as a stepcouple. Which, it turns out, is pretty normal in a blended family. That sure doesn’t make it easy though! Which is why we put together this guide: How to Actually Blend: The Missing Instruction Manual for Stepcouples.

You might also want to check out:

The 3 phases (& 7 stages) of blending your family

Blended family red flags

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So much of successfully navigating stepparenting depends on our ability to think outside the box — to get creative, to redefine how “family” looks and feels, to reassess what it means to be a stepparent in a way that actually works for us. And all of that applies to self-care for stepparents as well: it’s probably not gonna look how you thought. Which is normal and okay.

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A pep talk for stepparents who get gaslit into believing that the dysfunction at home and/or between co-parents is somehow their fault.

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How to deal when your stepkids are the very definition of a special snowflake.

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The most infuriating stepparenting advice I heard/read over and over again was “Oh just don’t take it personally! It’s not you; it’s the role. Your stepkid would treat anyone in your position the same way.”

Today, I'll share what I wish those folks would've said instead.

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Parental alienation is the most “dark night of the soul” challenge we faced in our blended family... but eventually our stepfamily did find hope and healing.

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Knowing what counts as “normal” in a stepfamily would’ve made a HUGE difference in how I approached becoming a stepmom. I was completely unprepared for how hard this role was gonna be.

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Some self-care tips for any stepparent who feels like their brain is melting from massive overwhelm.

What’s your go-to de-stress practice? Hop over to Substack and leave a comment if you wanna share — I’d love to hear it, and you’d be helping other stressed-out stepparents too!

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Today, just a quick reminder: you don’t need the ex’s permission to play a role in your stepkids’ lives. Nor do you need the ex’s approval before you meet your stepkids.

Did your partner’s ex want to meet you before you were “allowed” to meet your future stepkids? Please join us in Substack and share in the comments, I’d love to hear that story. 😱

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com/subscribe