Tiny Pep Talks for Stepparents

Some self-care tips for any stepparent who feels like their brain is melting from massive overwhelm.

What’s your go-to de-stress practice? Hop over to Substack and leave a comment if you wanna share — I’d love to hear it, and you’d be helping other stressed-out stepparents too!

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

Today, just a quick reminder: you don’t need the ex’s permission to play a role in your stepkids’ lives. Nor do you need the ex’s approval before you meet your stepkids.

Did your partner’s ex want to meet you before you were “allowed” to meet your future stepkids? Please join us in Substack and share in the comments, I’d love to hear that story. 😱

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

From dads who aren’t allowed to see their kids to stepdads whose role goes completely unrecognized, Father’s Day emotions in stepfamilies can run the full spectrum.

Read the full transcript on Substack >>

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➡️ STRUGGLING? START HERE!

🧡 JOIN OUR SUPPORT COMMUNITY

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

If I could only pick one message that I want each and every stepparent to know, it's this: yeah this shit is hard, but you are not alone. So many other stepparents have been where you are and made it through. There is hope. This does get better.

I'd be lying if I said that message applies to every stepparenting situation, though.

Read the full transcript on Substack >>

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➡️ STRUGGLING? START HERE!

🧡 JOIN OUR SUPPORT COMMUNITY

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

Let’s dispel some common myths about disengaging from our stepkids. Starting with #1: disengaging is not a bad thing.

Read the full transcript on Substack >>

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➡️ STRUGGLING? START HERE!

🧡 JOIN OUR SUPPORT COMMUNITY

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

Stepfamilies in high conflict situations need different strategies and resources than other blended families. So many of the typical co-parenting advice out there does not apply when the ex is a nightmare narcissist. And stepparents in high conflict need extra support, too — which is why we’re here. Because holy cow this is NOT what you signed up for!!

Read the full transcript on Substack >>

MORE HELP FOR HIGH CONFLICT:

📝 4 things typical co-parenting advice gets wrong about high conflict

🎧 019 | High conflict + trauma + our partners' PTSD

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

Today is Stepmother's Day, a very real holiday that doesn’t seem to quite show up on anyone’s radar. Stores don’t carry "Happy Stepmother's Day!" cards. You’re not gonna see an ad like “Get Stepmom something as special as she is!”

Technically the holiday exists… yet we're not actually acknowledged.

Sounds about right. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Read the full transcript on Substack >>

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

As sucky as it is on a daily basis for our efforts to go unrecognized as stepmoms, there's really no day that hits home more than Mother's Day, and no day when it feels like more of a slap across the face to end up forgotten and overlooked.

Thanks for all you do for your partners and your stepkids, today and every day.

READ THE FULL TRANSCRIPT ON SUBSTACK >>

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

Okay yes stepfamily life is very complex and we all need lots of support, blah blah blah. But you know what else we need? To lighten the heck up sometimes! So today here’s a bunch of stepparenting tips candy-coated in delicious Star Wars lore. Which is more metaphorical to steplife than one might think.

Read the full transcript on Substack >>

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

There’s a great quote from Lucille Ball that goes “Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line.” That for sure has been my personal experience with stepparenting. (And really, with life in general.)

As stepparents, we talk a LOT about loving our stepkids, about loving our partners and our blended families. But what we don’t talk about — and should! — is what we're doing to make sure we're loving ourselves.⠀

Before we can help others, first we need to put on our own oxygen mask. Before we can support others, first we need to make sure our own needs are met. We need to stop giving ourselves empty.

If the stepparenting role has left you burned out or pretty darn close, please know that stepping back a bit doesn't mean you don't love your stepkids (although it's okay if you don't). There is plenty of middle ground between stepparenting in a sustainable, more hands-off way and being a jerk to your stepkids or ignoring them or something. Stepparenting should not feel like an either/or — it’s about finding out how to make this role work for you. Because you can’t be a good stepparent while simultaneously drowning in frustration and resentment.

So somewhere in that never-ending list of things you’re doing constantly for other people, please please please make sure you’re also doing some good deeds for yourself. Let's spend some time remembering how to love ourselves, and trusting that the rest will fall into place. xo

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🧡 Need a bigger pep talk? Start here or join us over on Substack! xo

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com