TILT Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children

TPP 305: Stuart Shanker on What Self-Regulation Is, Why It Matters, and How to Help Our Children (and Ourselves) Do It Better


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We are kicking off this season with a conversation with Dr. Stuart Shanker, who I first learned about through my friend Seth Perler as he’s been part of the TEFOS Summit. I love Stuart's message and recently devoured his book Self-Reg: How to Help Your Child (and You) Break the Stress Cycle and Successfully Engage With Life, and wanted to dive deeper with Stuart about it. In this episode, we get into the ways in which the brain controls the levels of stress, the difference between self-regulation and self-control, and the difference between stress behavior and misbehaving. Stuart also walks us through his 5 steps to Self-Reg, and talks about the power of us as parents and caregivers and educators doing our own self-reg work so we can support the kids around us.

Dr. Stuart Shanker (D.Phil) is a Distinguished Research Professor Emeritus of Philosophy and Psychology, the Founder & Visionary of The MEHRIT Centre, Ltd., and Self-Reg Global Inc. One of his many books, Calm, Alert and Learning: Classroom Strategies for Self-Regulation (2012), is a top-selling educational publication in Canada. Self-Reg: How to Help Your Child (and You) Break the Stress Cycle and Successfully Engage With Life (2016), has garnered enthusiastic reviews and media attention throughout North America and has also been published in the United Kingdom, the United States, Poland, Germany, China, South Korea, Japan, the Netherlands, Georgia and the Czech Republic. His latest books are Self-Reg Schools: A Handbook for Educators (2019) and Reframed: Self-Reg for a Just Society (2020)

 Things you'll learn from this episode

  • How the explosion of stress-related problems in recent years among children has augmented the need for additional self-reg resources for parents and educators
  • How the brain controls the levels of stress and simple strategies that can be used to calm the nervous system response
  • Why self-reg practices for parents and teachers other adults begin with learning how to regulate ourselves
  • The difference between misbehavior and stress behavior
  • How self-regulation mechanisms evolve as we get older
  • The distinction between self-control and self-regulation and the five steps to self-regulation
  • Resources mentioned:

    • The Mehrit Center / Dr. Stuart Shanker’s website
    • Resource Library on Stuart’s website
    • Self-Reg Online Learning & Certificate Programs
    • Self-Reg: How to Help Your Child (and You) Break the Stress Cycle and Successfully Engage with Life by Dr. Stuart Shanker
    • Reframed: Self-Reg for a Just Society by Dr. Stuart Shanker
    • Self-Reg Schools: A Handbook for Educators by Dr. Stuart Shanker and Dr. Susan Hopkins
    • The Functional Neuroanatomy of Pleasure and Happiness (Overview of Olds and Milner study)
    • Seth Perler’s website
    • A “Masterclass” in Executive Functioning with Seth Perler, P
    • Support the show

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        TILT Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent ChildrenBy Debbie Reber

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