Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationship

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Welcome to Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationships with Dr Sarah — the podcast that helps ambitious individuals and couples heal trauma bonding and toxic relationship cycles to build secure attachments and loving healthy relationships.

Hosted by Dr Sarah, psychologist, relationship strategist, and founder of Heal Trauma Bonding and Relationship Success Lab, this show guides you through practical tools and deep insights on:

✅ Healing from trauma bonding, anxious attachment style, and codependency
✅ Building emotional resilience and secure attachment styles a
✅ Improving communication, empathy, and emotional intimacy
✅ Reclaiming your identity, boundaries, and self-worth
✅ Creating lasting relationship happiness and passion

Whether you're recovering from betrayal, navigating codependency, or simply ready to break free from the past, this podcast gives you the clarity, strength, and strategy to move forward

We hope you got massive value from this episode for your own healing and relationship progress.

Welcome to Dr Sarah: Relationship Success Lab, where high achievers, executives, and entrepreneurs explore relationship fitness, healing from relationship trauma, and creating secure, trusting, and loving partnerships. Designed for those navigating high-stakes careers and relationships, we dive into trauma-informed coaching, relationship wellbeing, and practical strategies to recover from trauma bonding and build meaningful connections. Save your marriage, start building secure relationships and optimizing your relationship wellbeing.

Support the show

Welcome to Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationships with Dr Sarah — the podcast that helps ambitious individuals and couples heal trauma bonding and toxic relationship cycles to build secure attachments and loving healthy relationships.

Hosted by Dr Sarah, psychologist, relationship strategist, and founder of Heal Trauma Bonding and Relationship Success Lab, this show guides you through practical tools and deep insights on:

✅ Healing from trauma bonding, anxious attachment style, and codependency
✅ Building emotional resilience and secure attachment styles a
✅ Improving communication, empathy, and emotional intimacy
✅ Reclaiming your identity, boundaries, and self-worth
✅ Creating lasting relationship happiness and passion

Whether you're recovering from betrayal, navigating codependency, or simply ready to break free from the past, this podcast gives you the clarity, strength, and strategy to move forward

We hope you got massive value from this episode for your own healing and relationship progress.

It's not about placing all blame on your partner or solely on yourself. Rather, it's about accountability and recognizing the role each person plays in relationship dynamics. We have the most control over ourselves, our actions, and our self-awareness.

Here are 10 toxic patterns to watch out for:

1. Feeling inherently superior or inferior to your partner, even if it's subtle.
2. Assuming the worst about your partner's capabilities or intentions, leading to defensiveness or disempowerment.
3. Keeping score of past grievances and using them in arguments, which prevents resolution.
4. Using manipulation or control tactics, overt or subtle, to influence your partner's behavior.
5. Embracing a victim mentality, seeking validation or rescue from your partner rather than taking responsibility.
6. Being addicted to drama, seeking reassurance through conflict or emotional upheaval.
7. Using sex as a way to gloss over unresolved issues, creating false intimacy.
8. Having a short temper with your partner due to a sense of safety and familiarity.
9. Putting emotional distance between you and your partner during conflict, or ignoring their attempts at reconciliation.
10. Ignoring or minimizing problems in the relationship, hoping they'll resolve on their own or expecting your partner to fix them.

Recognizing these behaviors is the first step toward fostering a healthier, more fulfilling relationship. It's about taking ownership of our actions, understanding our vulnerabilities, and actively working towards positive change.



Get your FREE downloadable Relationship Health Quiz here: https://www.relationshipsuccesslab.com/relationship-quiz

If you would like to book in a free consultation call, please click here: https://calendly.com/healtraumabonding-info/30min

For more information, contact [email protected]

Support the show

Welcome to Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationships with Dr Sarah — the podcast that helps ambitious individuals and couples heal trauma bonding and toxic relationship cycles to build secure attachments and loving healthy relationships.

Hosted by Dr Sarah, psychologist, relationship strategist, and founder of Heal Trauma Bonding and Relationship Success Lab, this show guides you through practical tools and deep insights on:

✅ Healing from trauma bonding, anxious attachment style, and codependency
✅ Building emotional resilience and secure attachment styles a
✅ Improving communication, empathy, and emotional intimacy
✅ Reclaiming your identity, boundaries, and self-worth
✅ Creating lasting relationship happiness and passion

Whether you're recovering from betrayal, navigating codependency, or simply ready to break free from the past, this podcast gives you the clarity, strength, and strategy to move forward

We hope you got massive value from this episode for your own healing and relationship progress.

Welcome to Dr Sarah: Relationship Success Lab, where high achievers, executives, and entrepreneurs explore relationship fitness, healing from relationship trauma, and creating secure, trusting, and loving partnerships. Designed for those navigating high-stakes careers and relationships, we dive into trauma-informed coaching, relationship wellbeing, and practical strategies to recover from trauma bonding and build meaningful connections. Save your marriage, start building secure relationships and optimizing your relationship wellbeing.

Support the show

Welcome to Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationships with Dr Sarah — the podcast that helps ambitious individuals and couples heal trauma bonding and toxic relationship cycles to build secure attachments and loving healthy relationships.

Hosted by Dr Sarah, psychologist, relationship strategist, and founder of Heal Trauma Bonding and Relationship Success Lab, this show guides you through practical tools and deep insights on:

✅ Healing from trauma bonding, anxious attachment style, and codependency
✅ Building emotional resilience and secure attachment styles a
✅ Improving communication, empathy, and emotional intimacy
✅ Reclaiming your identity, boundaries, and self-worth
✅ Creating lasting relationship happiness and passion

Whether you're recovering from betrayal, navigating codependency, or simply ready to break free from the past, this podcast gives you the clarity, strength, and strategy to move forward

We hope you got massive value from this episode for your own healing and relationship progress.

Welcome to Dr Sarah: Relationship Success Lab, where high achievers, executives, and entrepreneurs explore relationship fitness, healing from relationship trauma, and creating secure, trusting, and loving partnerships. Designed for those navigating high-stakes careers and relationships, we dive into trauma-informed coaching, relationship wellbeing, and practical strategies to recover from trauma bonding and build meaningful connections. Save your marriage, start building secure relationships and optimizing your relationship wellbeing.

NOTE: This is only for couples who WANT to make their relationship work and rebuild trust.

There's been an injury in your relationship.

You might have been hurt by your partner's actions. They might have been critical or judgemental. They might have ignored you when you needed them or betrayed you when you trusted them.

Your partner (who did the act) wants to change, they're showing signs of remorse but they're also not sure of what they need to do to make it better.  

They scramble around trying to do "everything to fix it" and they might show you excessive signs that they're sorry or signs of affection.

But you're still doubtful over their every move they take. 

And not only that - they then start to feel fed up because "they can't seem to fix it" or "make you believe them". 

So one of the primary questions for the person who is injured: How do you KNOW for sure that your partner's remorse and change is genuine?

And for the person who is looking to repair the rupture in the relationship, the question is: What do you need to do to show your partner that you're genuinely wanting to take the steps to make this relationship work?

1. Trust needs to be built from sub-ground levels upwards (be ok with this).
2. Humility and fallibility
3. Cognitive and emotional empathy
4. Psychological safety (remove defenses and urges of the ego)
5. Eliminating testing behaviours (observation and time will give you the truth)

Support the show

Welcome to Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationships with Dr Sarah — the podcast that helps ambitious individuals and couples heal trauma bonding and toxic relationship cycles to build secure attachments and loving healthy relationships.

Hosted by Dr Sarah, psychologist, relationship strategist, and founder of Heal Trauma Bonding and Relationship Success Lab, this show guides you through practical tools and deep insights on:

✅ Healing from trauma bonding, anxious attachment style, and codependency
✅ Building emotional resilience and secure attachment styles a
✅ Improving communication, empathy, and emotional intimacy
✅ Reclaiming your identity, boundaries, and self-worth
✅ Creating lasting relationship happiness and passion

Whether you're recovering from betrayal, navigating codependency, or simply ready to break free from the past, this podcast gives you the clarity, strength, and strategy to move forward

We hope you got massive value from this episode for your own healing and relationship progress.

Welcome to Dr Sarah: Relationship Success Lab, where high achievers, executives, and entrepreneurs explore relationship fitness, healing from relationship trauma, and creating secure, trusting, and loving partnerships. Designed for those navigating high-stakes careers and relationships, we dive into trauma-informed coaching, relationship wellbeing, and practical strategies to recover from trauma bonding and build meaningful connections. Save your marriage, start building secure relationships and optimizing your relationship wellbeing.

I get asked by my clients on a daily basis: Can I fix this relationship?

Well, it depends. Mostly on whether you are willing to take action to get out of victimhood and empower yourself. If the relationship is meant to be for you - this would be welcomed with open arms. If not, it's time to say goodbye - and you'll also feel grounded in doing so given the strength and resilience which you would have developed. So, are you willing to grow and get out of victimhood? 

Here I talk about how your emotional home is supposed to be your safe space. 

However, when you're in a place of receiving criticism or you have been betrayed - you no longer feel safe. The idea of safety is far fetched - and you believe you have to work extremely hard to 'be safe again' (i.e. be good enough). 

You enter survival mode, desperately aiming to escape any form of criticism and judgement, while hoping that you may at some point be noticed and get told "you've done enough" and "you are enough".

If you BOTH REALLY want to repair a relationship after manipulation or disrespect, trust is mandatory. The hard part is building trust from the ground upwards (if anything, from sub-ground levels). BUT this can only really work if we mute defensiveness and tackle issues of shame that come up. 

Learn how to take accountability and responsibility of your own growth so you can truly dictate how you would want to direct your relationship.

Support the show

Welcome to Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationships with Dr Sarah — the podcast that helps ambitious individuals and couples heal trauma bonding and toxic relationship cycles to build secure attachments and loving healthy relationships.

Hosted by Dr Sarah, psychologist, relationship strategist, and founder of Heal Trauma Bonding and Relationship Success Lab, this show guides you through practical tools and deep insights on:

✅ Healing from trauma bonding, anxious attachment style, and codependency
✅ Building emotional resilience and secure attachment styles a
✅ Improving communication, empathy, and emotional intimacy
✅ Reclaiming your identity, boundaries, and self-worth
✅ Creating lasting relationship happiness and passion

Whether you're recovering from betrayal, navigating codependency, or simply ready to break free from the past, this podcast gives you the clarity, strength, and strategy to move forward

We hope you got massive value from this episode for your own healing and relationship progress.

Welcome to Dr Sarah: Relationship Success Lab, where high achievers, executives, and entrepreneurs explore relationship fitness, healing from relationship trauma, and creating secure, trusting, and loving partnerships. Designed for those navigating high-stakes careers and relationships, we dive into trauma-informed coaching, relationship wellbeing, and practical strategies to recover from trauma bonding and build meaningful connections. Save your marriage, start building secure relationships and optimizing your relationship wellbeing.

Love is simply not enough - and to believe it is deludes yourself into an unhealthy relationship.

Support the show

Welcome to Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationships with Dr Sarah — the podcast that helps ambitious individuals and couples heal trauma bonding and toxic relationship cycles to build secure attachments and loving healthy relationships.

Hosted by Dr Sarah, psychologist, relationship strategist, and founder of Heal Trauma Bonding and Relationship Success Lab, this show guides you through practical tools and deep insights on:

✅ Healing from trauma bonding, anxious attachment style, and codependency
✅ Building emotional resilience and secure attachment styles a
✅ Improving communication, empathy, and emotional intimacy
✅ Reclaiming your identity, boundaries, and self-worth
✅ Creating lasting relationship happiness and passion

Whether you're recovering from betrayal, navigating codependency, or simply ready to break free from the past, this podcast gives you the clarity, strength, and strategy to move forward

We hope you got massive value from this episode for your own healing and relationship progress.

Welcome to Dr Sarah: Relationship Success Lab, where high achievers, executives, and entrepreneurs explore relationship fitness, healing from relationship trauma, and creating secure, trusting, and loving partnerships. Designed for those navigating high-stakes careers and relationships, we dive into trauma-informed coaching, relationship wellbeing, and practical strategies to recover from trauma bonding and build meaningful connections. Save your marriage, start building secure relationships and optimizing your relationship wellbeing.

Today, joined by Dr Matt Slavin, we delve into the question: "Would you erase your trauma if you could?" Exploring both big and little traumas, we acknowledge their impact on shaping us. Trauma isn't just about life-threatening events but also repeated feelings of betrayal or neglect. Our experiences, good and bad, mold us, propelling us towards achievements or influencing our relationships. Trauma often dictates our choices and behaviors, affecting how we navigate life's challenges.

Through stories like Sir Edmund Hillary's, we see how past wounds can drive us to remarkable feats. Yet, trauma can also trap us in toxic patterns, blurring our perception of reality and hindering growth. Acceptance becomes pivotal, acknowledging the past while embracing the present. It's about radical acceptance—recognizing what we cannot change and focusing on self-improvement.

In a study, 99.9% of respondents, despite enduring severe traumas, opted not to erase them, understanding that doing so would alter their entire life's trajectory. It's a testament to the complexity of human experience, where trauma isn't solely a burden but also a catalyst for growth. By embracing our multifaceted selves and seeking love and safety, we embark on the healing journey, empowering ourselves to choose connections that nurture our well-being. Ultimately, we are observers of our lives, wielding the power to shape our narratives and find solace in love and acceptance.

Contact details for Matt: 
https://www.linkedin.com/in/drmattslavin/

Support the show

Welcome to Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationships with Dr Sarah — the podcast that helps ambitious individuals and couples heal trauma bonding and toxic relationship cycles to build secure attachments and loving healthy relationships.

Hosted by Dr Sarah, psychologist, relationship strategist, and founder of Heal Trauma Bonding and Relationship Success Lab, this show guides you through practical tools and deep insights on:

✅ Healing from trauma bonding, anxious attachment style, and codependency
✅ Building emotional resilience and secure attachment styles a
✅ Improving communication, empathy, and emotional intimacy
✅ Reclaiming your identity, boundaries, and self-worth
✅ Creating lasting relationship happiness and passion

Whether you're recovering from betrayal, navigating codependency, or simply ready to break free from the past, this podcast gives you the clarity, strength, and strategy to move forward

We hope you got massive value from this episode for your own healing and relationship progress.

Welcome to Dr Sarah: Relationship Success Lab, where high achievers, executives, and entrepreneurs explore relationship fitness, healing from relationship trauma, and creating secure, trusting, and loving partnerships. Designed for those navigating high-stakes careers and relationships, we dive into trauma-informed coaching, relationship wellbeing, and practical strategies to recover from trauma bonding and build meaningful connections. Save your marriage, start building secure relationships and optimizing your relationship wellbeing.

In the discussion about high achievers and their challenges in relationships, Sarah and Matt highlight the common issue of being overly focused on goals and rationality, neglecting emotional connection. They emphasize that success in relationships relies heavily on emotional and mental connection, which accounts for 80% of relationship longevity. Sarah stresses the importance of prioritizing meaningful values over achieving specific goals in relationships. Matt introduces a practical exercise involving a "values dartboard" to align actions with values. They underscore the need for intentional presence and effort in fostering emotional connection, even when lacking emotional intelligence. The conversation emphasizes the power of showing up for one another and discusses research showing that attunement in relationships leads to brainwave patterns akin to meditative states. This highlights the profound impact of emotional connection on overall well-being. They caution against the endless pursuit of tasks and goals, advocating for prioritizing and committing to nurturing relationships. Ultimately, they assert that genuine commitment, effort, and willingness to understand and support one another are crucial for relationship success, fostering a deeper emotional bond and overall fulfillment.

Support the show

Welcome to Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationships with Dr Sarah — the podcast that helps ambitious individuals and couples heal trauma bonding and toxic relationship cycles to build secure attachments and loving healthy relationships.

Hosted by Dr Sarah, psychologist, relationship strategist, and founder of Heal Trauma Bonding and Relationship Success Lab, this show guides you through practical tools and deep insights on:

✅ Healing from trauma bonding, anxious attachment style, and codependency
✅ Building emotional resilience and secure attachment styles a
✅ Improving communication, empathy, and emotional intimacy
✅ Reclaiming your identity, boundaries, and self-worth
✅ Creating lasting relationship happiness and passion

Whether you're recovering from betrayal, navigating codependency, or simply ready to break free from the past, this podcast gives you the clarity, strength, and strategy to move forward

We hope you got massive value from this episode for your own healing and relationship progress.

Welcome to Dr Sarah: Relationship Success Lab, where high achievers, executives, and entrepreneurs explore relationship fitness, healing from relationship trauma, and creating secure, trusting, and loving partnerships. Designed for those navigating high-stakes careers and relationships, we dive into trauma-informed coaching, relationship wellbeing, and practical strategies to recover from trauma bonding and build meaningful connections. Save your marriage, start building secure relationships and optimizing your relationship wellbeing.

Today, we are talking all things about how to deal with heartache and break ups:
- How to grow self-worth and confidence.
- Noticing traits inside of you and stopping sabotaging behaviours
- Difficulties with boundaries and communication
- Are you in love because you need them or you need them because you love them?

Joined by guest speaker Erica Turner, founder of Your Relationship Reset - true blessing to have her join me!

Support the show

Welcome to Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationships with Dr Sarah — the podcast that helps ambitious individuals and couples heal trauma bonding and toxic relationship cycles to build secure attachments and loving healthy relationships.

Hosted by Dr Sarah, psychologist, relationship strategist, and founder of Heal Trauma Bonding and Relationship Success Lab, this show guides you through practical tools and deep insights on:

✅ Healing from trauma bonding, anxious attachment style, and codependency
✅ Building emotional resilience and secure attachment styles a
✅ Improving communication, empathy, and emotional intimacy
✅ Reclaiming your identity, boundaries, and self-worth
✅ Creating lasting relationship happiness and passion

Whether you're recovering from betrayal, navigating codependency, or simply ready to break free from the past, this podcast gives you the clarity, strength, and strategy to move forward

We hope you got massive value from this episode for your own healing and relationship progress.