Does your loved one see things in terms of victimhood, in terms of what's done to them? Do you see your loved one's actions that way? Feeling victimized means you're being passive, having things happen to you. It can feel like things are not fair, like you've been dealt a lousy hand of cards. It's important to shift your perception, focus, and behavior to remember that you have agency and control, that you're responsible for yourself, your actions, and your self-care.