We all enjoy eating at restaurants. But have you ever really thought about how or why we choose those restaurants? In this Patch, we dive into some of the key considerations that go into picking a restaurant. Are you swayed by spruikers throwing in a glass of wine? Will you pick a 'feed me' option? Do you care about the name of the restaurant? In this episode, Josh expresses his love for menus stuck to the front window of a restaurant, Christian vents about the 'please wait to be seated' sign and Dion talks about dietary requirements (again).

We also play Oh Wow Of the Week (OWOW) and Nursery Rhymes.

Search for us on social media to see clips of the show: We're on Instagram, YouTube, Tiktok, Twitter and Facebook. linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork

For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We navigate the difficult questions and considerations around walking through doors. First door in our line of sight is the revolving door. After dissecting some of the nuances of entering one of the revolving door 'slices', we look at some of the other classic doors: sliding doors, fly-screens, car doors, van doors and the enigmatic turnstiles and plastic strips at the front of milkbars. After talking about our favourite types of doors, we move onto key chains and the keys you carry. Finally, we address the etiquette of holding the door open for others.

We also play Copy Cat and Patchword of the Day.

Search for us on social media to see clips of the show: We're on Instagram, Twitter, Tiktok and Facebook. linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork

For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Should you wish someone happy birthday in a group thread if you've already wished them happy birthday in your own separate thread. We also ponder what questions you should ask someone on their birthday. Plus Christian reveals how many of his childhood birthdays were spent at Crown: A World of Entertainment. Plus find out if you can give Gordon's Gin as a present!

Search for us on social media to see clips of the show: We're on Instagram, Twitter, Tiktok and Facebook. linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork

For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week we give you the indispensable instruction manual on how to properly try shoes, clothes and cars. Dion gives us a surprise Roobois Challenge, and Christian writes the rulebook for when you can return items to a store.

Search for us on social media to see clips of the show: We're on Instagram, Twitter, Tiktok and Facebook. linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork

For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch in our off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dion, Christian and Josh are back for Season 7! Join the boys as they cast their minds all the way back to Episode 1 nearly five years ago. They discuss their updated 2022 insecurities, Dion gives an update on his never-ending revolving door of hairdressers, and of course, what they are now Doyens of. Plus old school games ”Monotoly” and Really Good! 

Remember to follow us on social media inc YouTube, Instagram, Twitter and Facebook and head to Patreon for bonus content: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

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Patch 100 was recorded LIVE at Brunswick Ballroom on April 9 2022 as part of the Melbourne International Comedy Festival.

Josh confronts Dion about something he noticed whilst editing the podcast, we prioritise hellos and goodbyes and finally, discuss making room for dessert.

We were also joined on stage by very special guests Meshel Laurie and Daniel Connell to talk stealing shopping trollies and kissing your mother on the lips.

A big big thank you to everyone who attended the live show! We had so much fun.

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

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After months of radio silence, Christian, Dion and Josh are on the mend and ready to return.

We wanted to record a quick update to let you know what we've been up to the last few months and our plans to return for Season 7.

Thank you for holding down the fort. We're back!... That is our seat though. Yeah. The one you're sitting on. Yeah. We were sitting on it just before we left. Yeah but it doesn't matter that we've been gone for 3 months - we left our glass there. We were always going to come back and sit there again. Are you seriously not going to get up? Fine. It doesn't matter.

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

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For the second week running, to whet your appetite for this year's Melbourne International Comedy Festival, here's a walk down memory lane to Show 2 last year. Get your tickets to this year's show (Sat 9 April at 1pm) here! https://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2022/shows/welcome-to-patchwork-100th-episode

Recorded LIVE on April 18, 2021 at Comedy Republic as part of the Melbourne International Comedy Festival.

Is it acceptable to leave a live event early? What should you do if you stop next to someone you know at the traffic lights? What are you responsibilities to others when leaving a room?

With very special guests, Oh Wow of the week, Scrolling Through Time, Wheel of Fortune Cookie, DJ Drop from Prince Phillip's Funeral and of course, your Really Goods!

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We're performing our 100th episode live show baby! Listen to this short little trailer while booking tickets to our bloody show. With special guests comedians Meshel Laurie and Daniel Connell! Also jump on any of our social media channels to see this audio recording brought to life in 4-DIMENSIONAL video: https://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2022/shows/welcome-to-patchwork-100th-episode

We cannot wait for this.

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

To whet your appetite for this year's Melbourne International Comedy Festival, here's a walk down memory lane to Show 1 last year. Get your tickets for this year's show (Sat 9 April at 1pm) here: https://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2022/shows/welcome-to-patchwork-100th-episode

Recorded LIVE on April 11, 2021 at Comedy Republic as part of the Melbourne International Comedy Festival.

What time does a host need to arrive to their event? Should you pause your conversation when a waiter begins to set your table? What's your favourite style of chopping? 

With very special guests, Oh Wow of the week, Forgive Me Father, Patchword of the Day and of course, your Really Goods!

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.