Ohhhhh wow! We're back from 7 months off and we're out of practice. We kick off by recalling a micro highlight from our trips abroad: Christian visited a Christian themed amusement park, Dion visited a capybara themed amusement park for ducks and Josh watched a man interact with natural history. 

Christian starts the episode proper by lamenting his ability to casually organise an event. Are you someone who can casually put together an event and be fine not knowing who is coming and when? If an invite says, "get there anytime from 4pm", what arrival time would be considered late? Should you ask your 'core group' to arrive earliest? We then celebrate 'Regrets Only' invites.

Josh then asks Christian and Dion for the techniques they employ to subtly glance at someone else. Dion admits that he struggles to find people using clock face directions - "your 5 o'clock" while Christian worries about a quick turn around resulting in a punch in the face. We then plan out the best ways to guide another person as they attempt a subtle glance and how to avoid being caught. As per Welcome to Patchwork, we then quickly touch on our greatest insecurities... no problem. 

Finally, Dion discloses the average number of photos taken per day on his trip and we go on to discuss the utility of holiday photography. Do we actually need to take photos on our trips given ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING HAS ALREADY BEEN DONE AND SAID AND THERE IS NO POINT EXISTING ANYMORE? Also... how good is a candid shot?    

We also play Sound Check and Time to Think.

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Dearest Patchworkers, we're taking a bit of a break. Christian is doing some extended travel so there won't be regular releases for pretty much the rest of the year.

We can't thank you enough for your support over the last 6 years. Looking forward to being back in your favourite podcatcher sometime again in the future. But for the moment, it's goodbye. Big hugs and three loud kisses oxxx

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Christian receives a mysterious hand gesture from a concerned citizen but manages to decipher it. 

We also ponder the age old question - what's the difference between 'tips' and 'advice'? Christian's psych definitely got it wrong when asked about travel tips. This conversation devolves into Christian and Dion bullying Josh for having the audacity to talk to his friends about things that he is passionate about. 

Dion tells us his strategies for picking an aisle when he needs to traverse through the chemist. We also discuss what we love to browse in the pharmacy while waiting for our script.

With very special guests "Scrolling Through Time" and "Sound Check"

This will be the last full episode of Welcome to Patchwork for quite some time. We've got a little clip for you coming next week, with details. It's been real. 

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Christian questions whether Josh can sell his abandoned basketball for profit. He's simply a man looking for answers. 

Josh's comedy group Game Boys won a freakin Green Room Award! So we discuss what genuine surprises we still have in life and if it's rude to send messages and be on social media during a speech. 

Finally Christian tells the longwided story of an old man bumping him on the train. Do we give elderly people too much of a pass these days? Both Josh and Dion also have some tales of people being unaware of others personal space. 

We also play Copy Cat and Time to Think.

Follow us on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Twitter and Facebook to see clips from the show: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork

For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Christian and Josh open this episode with a rather frank discussion about the many hairstyles of the artist P!NK. We explore the unspoken bravery of dying her hair blonde and her notoriety in Australia. Christian then finds a subtle way to tell Josh he's balding and shouldn't colour his hair. 

Josh then tells us about his new job delivering groceries and the torture of having to relearn how to drive a manual (Emmanuel). Do you judge people who struggle to park? Are you an anxious driver? Is Josh learning to self soothe? 

Christian recalls an embarrassing moment at work where he forgot a colleagues name. Do you get anxious when you need to introduce two people? How do you handle embarrassing public situations? Do you make a big deal about it or do you ignore it entirely? Dion then engages in a little wasp chat.

Finally, Dion asks Josh and Christian whether they have specific ways to wash certain dishes and it leads on to a constructive chat around the virtual Patchwork kitchen sink. 

We also play Horrorscopes and Never Scene It

Follow us on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Twitter and Facebook to see clips from the show: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork

For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Josh hosted another party and this time he's taking aim at those partygoers who take other people's drinks. Is it expected that the host will supply drinks? Should you be precious about the drinks you bring to a party? 

Dion then asks Christian and Josh for the right context in which a handshake is the right greeting? Is there a more appropriate embrace for a friend? Do you feel comfortable hugging a stranger? We then ask the big question, why do we need the shake in handshake?

Christian then recalls a time he observed a lady taking a selfie for over half an hour and asks Josh and Dion, when do you take selfies?  

We also play The Rooibos Challenge and Really Good

Follow us on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Twitter and Facebook to see clips from the show: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork

For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We’re back, again! Jeez, we spend a lot time not recording this podcast. Anyway, you get what you’re given. If you want more, become a Patreon! This Patch opens with Dion telling us about his recent trip to Texas and a close call with a tornado. We then discuss people who think they’re cool for not liking nature and using TikTok to follow live events.

Christian then recalls a time that he went for dinner with a couple of friends who refused to start eating until his meal arrived. Is this considered polite? Should you prioritise letting your food go cold above everyone starting to eat at the same time? Can you at least start with a couple of chips? We then talk about expecting cold meals through meal delivery services and Dion and Christian harmonise over a Thornbury pizza shop. Dion doesn’t wait for his Mum to sit down for dinner; Christian’s Nonna refuses to ever sit down.

Josh then asks Dion and Christian a very important question - what’s your end to end approach to dipping a full bowl of chips into a very small bowl of sauce? Will you ever decide to not sauce a chip so that other chips may be fully loaded? Why are wedges always served with so much sauce?

Finally, we discuss whether you need to acknowledge a stranger who is walking by you on the street. Josh surprises them with a mini “Hi”, Christian pretends he doesn’t see them and Dion still has no idea. Josh decides whether movement on an aeroplane is a shimmy, a shuffle or a slide past. Christian then completely loses the plot over someone saying “hey stranger” to him and Dion and Josh try to calm him down.      

We also play Oh Wow and Time To Think

Follow us on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Twitter and Facebook to see clips from the show: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork

For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Prepare for an outrageous and side-splitting comedy experience in this special episode of our podcast! Brace yourself for a laughter-filled adventure as the entire episode has been crafted by the comedic genius of ChatGPT, the AI language model with an uncanny knack for humour.

Get ready to be entertained by a non-stop barrage of jokes, humorous anecdotes, and hilarious situations. ChatGPT's algorithmic wit will leave you in stitches as it delivers punchlines, engages in comedic dialogues, and shares uproarious sketches that will have you doubled over with laughter.

With an inexhaustible arsenal of jokes and a quick wit, ChatGPT proves that AI has a place in the comedy world. From clever wordplay to absurd scenarios, this episode showcases the astonishing capabilities of artificial intelligence when it comes to tickling funny bones.

Whether you're in need of a good laugh, a momentary escape, or simply a comedic pick-me-up, this episode guarantees an unforgettable and uproarious experience. So please sit back, relax, and prepare to be delighted by ChatGPT's comedic brilliance in this AI-driven, laughter-inducing episode of our comedy podcast!

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Open wide and come inside! For this Patch, we've each written a new catchphrase that we'll drop into the episode at an appropriate time (and by appropriate time, we mean somewhere in the first 10 minutes because we were all too excited to hold on to them).

Christian asks Josh and Dion to be a sounding board about a prank played on his friend's mum. We then wonder, who are pranks for? Are they ever funny? Is a prank just 'accessible bullying'? Josh tries to find an example of a harmless, good prank.

Christian then recalls a profound comment made by a friend about sleep which kicks off a big discussion around how we each interact with sleep. We first talk about the very notion of trying to fall asleep and then Christian and Josh openly discuss how they actively try to repress any thought whatsoever throughout the day. What aids do you need to fall asleep? Do you wake up during the night? Dion then asks Josh and Christian about how they manage sleeping in bed with someone else before declaring a pillow between the knees a 'deal maker'. Christian then tries to counsel Dion on how to be an effective stomach sleeper but he's a little more worried about his Venetian blind eyelids. 

Finally, Josh is pulled up by his partner for eating chips weirdly and we ask the question, how do you eat chips? Is it one at a time with a chew and swallow? Is it an endless chip parade with chewing and swallowing interspersed when your mouth gets too full? Or is it a gorilla fist of chips that you work your way through? We then inspect how we approach fingers dusted with chip seasoning. 

We also play Deserted Island (Work Meetings)

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Josh is woken up by the incessant banging of some tradesmen and Christian and Dion wonder whether this could be improving Josh's life. We then discuss why tradies need to start work so early?

Christian then tells Josh and Dion about feeling relief about an upcoming event being cancelled. He sees the night now as 'free' and able to be reclaimed as a night off - Josh and Dion think the right course of action is to plan a different night out with the same group who would have attended the event. Oh my! What will the Patchwork boys say next?! Josh then complains about his friends no longer coming to gigs that start at 3 in the morning. We then discuss our feelings towards an impromptu venue change and posit, is there a point of diminishing returns when spending time with friends?

Have you inadvertently stolen anything and enjoyed the benefits of your theft? Josh recalls accidentally stealing a hand towel from a hotel and then Christian admits to A LOT of theft - especially from Virgin Active. We then talk about taking the frill neck lizard soaps from hotels and Josh literally says the words "Jacobean ruff". Dion then ponders, is there anything you do that makes you feel like a good person? Giving blood? Picking something up that someone else dropped? Mowing your neighbours lawn?    

We also play Horrorscopes and Really Good

Follow us on Instagram, YouTube, Tiktok, Twitter and Facebook to see clips from the show: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork

For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.