Welcome To Patchwork

Josh attempts (and fails) to set the record straight about drinking Dion's beer - turns out he's technically correct, the best kind of correct, but morally bankrupt. Christian's shares his latest get rich quick scheme which is pet-napping. We also realise that losing your wallet isn't anywhere near as bad as it once was.

Dion discovers that his work colleague owns the same pair of shoes that he does and he is filled with shame and regret. He is also the only one of us to have experienced this phenomenon, not only with shoes, but with other items of clothing as well. What a basic bitch.

With very special guests 'Copy Cat' and 'Time to Think'.

Our huge 100th Episode special live recording at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival is on sale now!

Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us and get an extra mini-patch every-second week. Visit linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

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We're back baby! With a very special announcement and some classic Patchwork. There's bones to be picked and befores to get started.

Christian takes issue with Josh trying to sell some Elf Slippers online which spirals into some hairbrained scheme of Christian's to list brand new clothes online the day he buys them.

We also dive deep into what things make us feel cool and also uncool. One universal truth we seem to land on that there is something particularly cool about sunglasses.

With very special guests 'Scrolling through time' and 'Time to Think'.

Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us and get an extra mini-patch every-second week. Visit linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Merry Christmas Patchworkers! In our annual Christmas episode we cover the Christmas menu. How fixed is your families Christmas menu? Do new dishes ever make it on? Christian has been trying (and failing) to add vegan dishes to his heavily Italian Christmas to no avail. Maybe 2021 will be the year.

Christian also lays down his patented 'Gift Giving Guide' - it's all you'll ever need to figure out what to buy someone for any occasion.

There's also a visit from Santa and a very special young boy...

With very special guests 'Ho Wow', 'Time to Think' and 'Really Good'.

Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us and get an extra mini-patch every-second week. Visit linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

There's yet another twist to the saga of Samantha the turtle! Let's hope Josh stops milking a lost turtle for content, after this week.

We find out who among us holds the record for 'most times car has completely run out of petrol' and how lazy they are. We fully cover our strategies for filling our tanks including some more life hacks from Dion's dad.

We also try out a new segment called 'Good at, Bad at'. Josh is up this week and we explore how useless he is with interior decorating but conversely how amazing he is with building IKEA furniture. Sounds like some sort of Monkey Paw trade off - he can make the furtniture but has no idea what will look good in his room.

With very special guests 'Never Scene it' and 'Time to Think'.

Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us and get an extra mini-patch every-second week. Visit linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Turns out that Dion hates a meandering walk but Christian and Josh love to go for a trot - conversation ensues. We find out our limits for how far we're willing to walk and under what conditions. Christian also reveals something shocking about his feet.

We also take a trip to the tuck shop and reminisce about our old tuck shop orders and most likely what we'd order now as adults.

Josh gives us an update on the Turtle saga for those who followed that story on our instagram.

With very special guests 'Patchword of the day', 'Time to Think' and 'Really Good'.

Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us and get an extra mini-patch every-second week. Visit linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We discuss if it's ok to simply hang up a phone call while it's ringing, or if you should let it ring out to be polite. Christian thinks that under no circumstance can you hang up and he takes us through his '4 ring classification system'. We also delve into what kind of activities are permitted to be undertaken while waiting for your food delivery to arrive. Dion apparently loves to do a bit of a backyard prune!

Josh also delivers the second part of his story about Kamahl. This installment details what it's like trying to use modern technology with an 87 year old singer.

With very special guests 'Oh Wow', 'Never Scene It' and 'Really Good'.

Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us and get an extra mini-patch every-second week. Visit linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Christian picks a bone with Josh's tuneless whistling. We discuss what we've been up to since lockdown has lifted here in Melbourne. Number one post lockdown activity on Dion's list was a hair cut - is that weird? I rekon it's a bit weird. Christian is desperate to get into a store and sit on a couch as he seeks to furnish his new place and Josh just wants to do the boring thing of 'socialising' - what a commie bastard!

Josh also regales us with the story of how he became friends with Kamahl. Kamahl has had a very interesting life and has some wild stories to tell, can't wait to share them with you!

With very special guests 'Zoo Crew' and a different twist on 'Really Good'.

Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us and get an extra mini-patch every-second week. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

How confident are you in being that first person to put their hands together at the end of a performance? It's a big risk, what if you get it wrong? They'll boo you out of the theatre, probably. We also critique those pointless empty gestures like pretending to pick something up that's fallen over when you have absolutely no intetion at all to follow through. Why would you bend over like a chump when someone else will, and by faking it you still get credit for trying. Just don't pause and hover halfway down like Dion's friend did.

We also get a quick 'sausage in glass jar' update and Josh picks a bone with Christian's policy on washing glassware.

With very special guests 'Mad Lifts' and 'Really Good'.

Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us and get an extra mini-patch every-second week. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We talk animal shelters, flat tyres and delivery estimate etiquette. Josh clumisly wades into dog eugenics while Christian can't stop talking about sexy dogs.

We also go deep on dip. Should the foil stay or go once the seal has been broken? We just can't decide, what do you rekon? We also discover that Dion has shocking sour cream application technique.

With very special guests 'Wheel of Fortune Cookie' and 'Really Good'.

Josh's 'Game Boys' Melbourne Fringe show 'Hey Hey It's Lockdown' is on 8pm Friday 8th and 15th.

Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us and get an extra mini-patch every-second week. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. 

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.