RFK Jr. has been chasing skinks around the yard and biting off their tails but they grow back unlike when bees give you their tail in your skin so now you can make the royal jelly. Nelly and Tim McGraw met in Central Park and they made a song for the Knicks about how they want to live in New York over and over again and not try anything crazy like going from Dustah to Wustah. If Hoodie Allen and Sammy Adams did a collab it would be so fire that Obama is the president again

https://www.patreon.com/ChapoFYM/posts/wfym-381-captain-162766532

The Star Wars Kid was named Ghislaine Racist and he actually got all his moves from Power Rangers but it was the version from Guam where they fight coconut crabs. So many boys only date you until they can get on the kiss cam proposing to you and then they take an Uber home and block your number. The rest of them are wistful to a fault like Brandon Flowers and all they want to do is Bing their friends from 1997

Jelly Roll got divorced from Whoopi Goldberg because she was cheating on him with an IDF soldier named Egirl Vitubor. Men are just playthings to her. You need some squishy dumplings so bad at the store. If you have a Burger King and a Dairy Queen and a Jack in the Box near you try doing the Royal Flush

https://www.patreon.com/ChapoFYM/posts/wfym-379-eeyore-161539435

Something terrible happened to Dah Bih Gah and they did it for YouTube as a science lesson for homeschoolers and bad kids whose parents set them loose on the world with a Feastable and a bad attitude. Bridges of Madison County hits different when you order it over the phone

🎼Robert Johnson - They're Red Hot

Down Suboxoneway you can go to Timmies and Dunkin Donuts all you want and the bathroom is free but they do have a toucan and a gorilla who come to life like FNAF on day 4 of Tina. Joe Arpaio is being buried in a pink suit against his will

https://www.patreon.com/posts/160434381

They sell all sorts of crazy phone cases now and some of them have space for credit cards and some of them have space for your thing. Hawaii's state flag is the Confederate flag with a swastika in the middle. Bait Car Karaoke is all Lostprophets and Gary Glitter. Fifi threads were a vibe.

Despite being prohibited by most lease agreements, the breeding of wasps can be both fun and educational, particularly when combined with active birding that functionally resembles indirect brood parasitism. Silento sneezed out his intestines after eating spicy eggs at the prison diner and Macron's wife had a Fisherman's Friend fall out of her pant leg because he left it in her Pousseaeaux

I hate how they make you go home at the end of the day even if you applied the proper cooling gel the entire time you were having a day siesta just because Mr. Sir wants to power trip. Future Fights is stuck in the past and we need to free it. The quality of the Beethoven movies is inversely correlated to the quality of the symphonies they were named after. There is going to be a roast of Jada Pinkett Smith hosted by Tony Hinchcliffe just to test if Will Smith is rehabilitated from slapping

🎼Beethoven's 3rd (1955, Philharmonia Orchestra conducted by Otto Klemperer)

My aunt is thicker than the wicked bible and a brick put together and her monstrous caboose is slowly colonizing Mohegan Sun from the inside and all they can do is sell her fake Swisher Sweets that are just fly paper filled with flies and honey. David Blaine did a fake trick to a dog with balloons but he was behind the door lifting him up and everyone thought it was Criss Angel and David Copafeel. Donkeys deserve respect

https://www.patreon.com/posts/157998302

Once more we return to the topic of geese. The beast not the band but they will be at Bonnaroo this year and apparently you can sneak in boxed wine in a baby stroller and fireworks in a guitar case and say you might be asked to fill in for someone onstage because that happened when Keith Moon passed out at a Who concert after drinking too much boxed wine out of a baby stroller. But, as Maury Povich knows, it's not your father's concert.