What the Church Forgot to Teach Us About Sex – with Mark & Dawn Lawrence

Dear Listener, let me preface this episode by saying that as a pastor, I realize I represent the church. But I’m a member, too. And I, too, have been disappointed with what the church has (and mostly hasn’t) taught about sex. These gaping holes in our formation have stifled and shamed many believers into secrecy. And we all know, secrecy is where the enemy does his best work.

I wanted to have a conversation with a married couple who I know embodies the wonder and wisdom of the Christian faith and whose personal lifestyle echoes their commitment to each other. Meet Pastor Mark and Dr. Dawn Lawrence. I’ve known the Lawrences for over 20 years, and the genuine love and affection they have for one another is contagious. They are such a great team, and I’m delighted to have them on the podcast today.

Here’s what we’re not going to do. We aren’t here to bash the church. We aren’t here to call out any specific church leader. And we aren’t here to hide behind old traditions and man-made doctrines. We want to uncover what God says about sex and how he meant for us to enjoy it.

Take Me to Church

If you are still trying to make sense of how sex and church belong in the same sentence, you are the perfect listener for this podcast. Sex is a beautiful, wonderful gift that God gives to his married children. So, if it’s a gift, why aren’t we talking about it? Why aren’t more churches working diligently to prepare singles for this lifetime commitment? Do we expect people to just figure marriage out on their own? The church’s job is to disciple (or train) believers in the ways of God. And sex is not an exception.

Lies We’ve Believed About Sex

If I were to ask you to write a list of all the lies you’re believing, your list would probably be pretty short. The problem is most of us don’t realize we’re believing a lie. If we knew it was a lie, we wouldn’t believe it! Now, put on your thinking cap and ask yourself if what you’ve been taught about sex is producing good fruit (or results) in your life? If not, chances are it’s a lie. And we’re here to uproot some lies on this podcast today.

Some points that stuck out to me from this episode were:

• Lies and secrets are the enemies of intimacy.
• When you say “I do,” that means I do you, and you do me, exclusively.
• Marriage is for more than just pro-creation.
• Be honest with your sexual needs. Most people don’t have what they want because they aren’t willing to be honest.
• People are watching your lifestyle. What are you showing them?
• Stay curious and keep discovering your spouse.
• God is watching you when you have sex (LOL. I had to throw that one in there!)

After 35 years, the Lawrences are still trying new things. Now, that’s what I’m talking about. The fact that this long-married couple is still trying new things, still discovering each other is inspirational.

Take a listen to the podcast to glean from all the wisdom they shared.

 

Resources:

• Raising them Special by Mark & Dr. Dawn Lawrence
• Sex Begins in the Kitchen by marriage and family therapist Dr. Kevin Leman

 

Got relationship questions? Send ‘em my way: [email protected]

Do you feel stuck in your marriage or relationship? Schedule a free 30-minute coaching session with me today.

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