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What happens when a pastor admits, “We made it worse”?
In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with pastor Matt Chandler for an honest conversation about how uninformed church systems have harmed abuse survivors - often unintentionally, but deeply. Tabi didn't provide any questions in advance and Matt didn't shy away from anything asked.
Together, they explore what happens when churches lack training in domestic abuse, coercive control, & trauma dynamics, & how good intentions can still cause devastating harm. Matt speaks candidly about past failures, institutional blind spots, & what true repentance & reform actually requires.
Inside this conversation:
⛪️ Why abuse is often missed in Christian marriages and churches
⛪️ How church systems can unintentionally side with abusers
⛪️ Why trauma-informed training is essential for pastors and elders
⛪️ What accountability and repentance should look like in the Church
Where to find Matt:
https://www.pastormattchandler.com/
Matt's latest book - Awake and Alive: A 30-Day Challenge to Revive Your Faith - https://a.co/d/gLywHJp
Where to get trained:
Pastors that would like to get educated on abuse or schedule a Protect the Flock training for your church, reach out to Called to Peace Ministries - https://calledtopeace.org/.
If you would like t
Wanna say hi? Send a text!
At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/
This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?
You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V
👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!
📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive Control
Wanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi
📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:
💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com
📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor
🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com
💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.com
Subscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there
🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.
Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.
By Tabitha5
1717 ratings
What happens when a pastor admits, “We made it worse”?
In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with pastor Matt Chandler for an honest conversation about how uninformed church systems have harmed abuse survivors - often unintentionally, but deeply. Tabi didn't provide any questions in advance and Matt didn't shy away from anything asked.
Together, they explore what happens when churches lack training in domestic abuse, coercive control, & trauma dynamics, & how good intentions can still cause devastating harm. Matt speaks candidly about past failures, institutional blind spots, & what true repentance & reform actually requires.
Inside this conversation:
⛪️ Why abuse is often missed in Christian marriages and churches
⛪️ How church systems can unintentionally side with abusers
⛪️ Why trauma-informed training is essential for pastors and elders
⛪️ What accountability and repentance should look like in the Church
Where to find Matt:
https://www.pastormattchandler.com/
Matt's latest book - Awake and Alive: A 30-Day Challenge to Revive Your Faith - https://a.co/d/gLywHJp
Where to get trained:
Pastors that would like to get educated on abuse or schedule a Protect the Flock training for your church, reach out to Called to Peace Ministries - https://calledtopeace.org/.
If you would like t
Wanna say hi? Send a text!
At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/
This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?
You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V
👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!
📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive Control
Wanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi
📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:
💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com
📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor
🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com
💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.com
Subscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there
🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.
Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

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