Hey Tabi!

What if hearing God's voice was never supposed to be another test you could fail?

If you've experienced spiritual abuse, religious trauma, or coercive control, you may find yourself questioning everything—including your ability to recognize God's voice.

Is that God speaking? Is it my intuition? Is it fear? Or is it a trauma response?

And after years of being told not to trust yourself, how do you even begin to know the difference?

In Part 2 of this special teaching from a recent women's gathering, we're moving beyond how spiritual abuse distorts our understanding of God's voice and exploring how we can begin rebuilding spiritual discernment.

Because hearing God's voice isn't about perfect performance. It's about relationship.

In this episode, we'll explore:

• Spiritual discernment: How Scripture, prayer, and wise counsel help us evaluate what we believe we're hearing from God.
• Trauma and hypervigilance: Why living in survival mode can make it difficult to distinguish discernment from fear.
• Trusting your gut: How to pay attention to your instincts without assuming every feeling is a message from God.
• God's invitations: Why hearing from God doesn't have to feel like pressure, urgency, or another impossible standard.
• Practical exercises: Ways to begin listening, reflecting, and rebuilding trust in your relationship with God.
• Grace in the process: Why God's love for you doesn't depend on your ability to hear Him perfectly.

I'll also share a personal story about an unexpected prompting that led me to turn my van around, return to Little Rock, and eventually step into a new season of restoration.

If someone has ever used the words "God told me" to manipulate, silence, or control you, I hope this conversation helps you begin separating God's character from the ways others may have misrepresented Him.

You are allowed to ask questions. You are allowed to take your time. And you don't have to get everything right to be loved by God.

Join the transformational Topics Community

Healing doesn't have to happen in isolation. If this conversation resonates with you, I'd love to invite you into the Transformational Topics Community, a community where we continue exploring the intersection of trauma, faith, healing, and personal growth.

Join us here: https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/groups/trauma-healing-support-online/

Wanna say hi? Send a text!

At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/

Join a vibrant community that takes you deeper into topics with a private podcast feed available on your fave podcast platform, helpful tools served right to your inbox, and quarterly Zoom calls to bring it all together! Learn more and join now -  https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/upcoming-events-groups/trauma-healing-support-online/

 This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?

You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V

Support the show

👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!

📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive Control

Wanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi

📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:
💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com
📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor
🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com

💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.com

Subscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there

🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

What happens when someone has spent years telling you what God thinks, what God wants, and what God is supposedly saying to you?

And what happens when you begin to realize that the voice you've been hearing may not have been God's at all?

For survivors of spiritual abuse, religious manipulation, and coercive control, learning to trust their own discernment can be one of the most challenging parts of healing.

In this special two-part episode of The Journey and the Process, I'm sharing a teaching I recently gave at a Sister Survivors gathering in Iowa about hearing God's voice after spiritual abuse.

In Part 1, we're unpacking how spiritual abuse weaponizes our devotion to God, how coercive control gradually erodes our ability to trust ourselves, and why hearing from God can feel so complicated when someone else has claimed to speak for Him.

We'll also talk about unanswered prayers, biblical lament, and making room for the difficult questions that often accompany trauma and faith.

Here's something I hope you'll remember: Just because someone misrepresented God's voice to you doesn't mean you've lost the ability to hear Him.

If you've ever questioned whether you're hearing God's voice, your own thoughts, or the echoes of someone who controlled you, this conversation is for you.

Coming in Part 2: We'll explore spiritual discernment more deeply, including how to begin recognizing God's voice and distinguishing His leading from fear and trauma-related survival responses.

Need support on your healing journey?

If you're navigating the effects of spiritual abuse, coercive control, or trauma, you don't have to do it alone. I offer counseling and coaching to help people rebuild trust in themselves and move forward with greater clarity and confidence.

Counseling or Coaching: https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/

If this episode resonates with you, consider sharing it with someone who needs to hear that their relationship with God doesn't have to be controlled by someone else's voice.

Because healing is a journey, and it's a process. And you don't have to walk it alone.

Wanna say hi? Send a text!

At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/

 This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?

You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V

Support the show

👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!

📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive Control

Wanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi

📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:
💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com
📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor
🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com

💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.com

Subscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there

🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

What happens when you do everything you're supposed to do, but still feel like something is missing?

Jessica “Dixie” Hawkins had checked all the boxes. She earned an engineering degree, built a successful career, and followed the path everyone told her would lead to happiness. But deep down, she knew something wasn't right.

So she quit her job and set out to hike the Appalachian Trail.

What started as a childhood dream became a life-changing journey of self-discovery, courage, healing, and learning to trust herself.

In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with Dixie, the creator behind the popular YouTube channel Homemade Wanderlust, to talk about what happens when we stop living according to other people's expectations and start discovering who we really are.

Having completed the Appalachian Trail, Pacific Crest Trail, and Continental Divide Trail, Dixie knows a thing or two about doing hard things. But some of her most important lessons didn't come from conquering mountains. They came from navigating painful relationships, going to counseling, learning healthy boundaries, and discovering that asking for help isn't a weakness.

Together, Tabitha and Dixie explore:

• Finding yourself again: How to reconnect with your identity when you've spent years living according to other people's expectations.
• The healing power of nature: Why getting outside can create space for emotional processing, self-reflection, and personal growth.
• Doing things scared: How taking small steps into unfamiliar territory can build confidence and help you discover what you're capable of.
• Knowing when to ask for help: Dixie shares the frightening wilderness emergency that forced her to activate her satellite SOS device and why listening to your body matters.
• Healing after difficult relationships: How therapy helped Dixie recognize unhealthy patterns, work through past hurts, and enter marriage with a stronger sense of self.
• Finding your people: The surprising kindness, connection, and community that can emerge when we step outside our comfort zones.

Whether you're rebuilding your life after a destructive relationship, navigating a major transition, or simply wondering if there's more to life than the one you've been living, this conversation is a reminder that it's never too late to discover who you are.

And you don't have to hike thousands of miles to begin.

Sometimes the first step toward healing is simply giving yourself permission to try something new.

Because you get to choose your own path. And you don't have to have everything figured out before you start walking.

🎧 Connect with Jessica “Dixie” Hawkins:

YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/@HomemadeWanderlust

Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/off-trail-with-dixie-podcast/id1884934246

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/homemadewanderlust/

Wanna say hi? Send a text!

At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/

Join a vibrant community that takes you deeper into topics with a private podcast feed available on your fave podcast platform, helpful tools served right to your inbox, and quarterly Zoom calls to bring it all together! Learn more and join now -  https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/upcoming-events-groups/trauma-healing-support-online/

 This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?

You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V

Support the show

👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!

📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive Control

Wanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi

📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:
💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com
📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor
🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com

💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.com

Subscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there

🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

What happens when charisma outruns character?

Chuck DeGroat returns to Hey Tabi to talk about his new book, Who You’re Becoming, and why genuine character formation can’t be rushed.

Chuck and Tabi explore charisma vs. character, narcissism and harmful leadership, “fauxnerability,” spiritual authority, self-protection, trauma, accountability, and the difference between knowing the right therapeutic language and actually doing the work.

Real change isn’t a quick fix. It happens slowly, in safe relationships where we can be known, challenged, and loved.

The question isn’t simply what you know or how others see you. It’s: Who are you becoming?

🔴 The Journey and The Process:
https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/

📕 Who You’re Becoming by Chuck DeGroat — available October 20:
https://amzn.to/4rJNbeF

The book link is an affiliate link, which means we may receive a small commission at no additional cost to you.

Wanna say hi? Send a text!

At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/

 This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?

You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V

Support the show

👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!

📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive Control

Wanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi

📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:
💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com
📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor
🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com

💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.com

Subscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there

🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

What happens when sexual betrayal shatters your sense of safety and why were betrayed partners once labeled “co-addicts”?

Tabitha sits down with Dr. Barbara Steffens, a pioneer in the field of betrayal trauma whose groundbreaking research helped change how clinicians understand and support partners impacted by sex addiction and compulsive sexual behavior.

They discuss why betrayal is trauma, the problems with codependency and co-addiction labels, institutional betrayal within faith communities, post-traumatic growth, and what churches and clinicians can do to better support betrayed partners.

Dr. Steffens also shares an important message for anyone navigating betrayal: You didn’t cause this, and you deserve knowledgeable, compassionate support. 

Resources:

Shepherding Through Crisis through Hope Redefined:
 https://hoperedefined.org/shepherding-through-crisis/

APSATS:
 https://apsats.org/

Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal:
https://amzn.to/4hi8uPA

Wanna say hi? Send a text!

At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/

Join a vibrant community that takes you deeper into topics with a private podcast feed available on your fave podcast platform, helpful tools served right to your inbox, and quarterly Zoom calls to bring it all together! Learn more and join now -  https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/upcoming-events-groups/trauma-healing-support-online/

 This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?

You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V

Support the show

👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!

📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive Control

Wanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi

📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:
💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com
📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor
🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com

💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.com

Subscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there

🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

Hyper-independence can look like strength from the outside. You handle the crisis, solve the problem, take care of everyone else, and rarely ask for help. But what happens when “I’ve got it” stops being a choice and becomes the only option that feels safe?

In this episode of Hey Tabi, Tabitha explores the difference between healthy autonomy and hyper-independence, why trauma and coercive control can make receiving help feel dangerous, and the hidden cost of always doing everything yourself.

You’ll also learn practical ways to begin letting safe support in—without giving up your boundaries, discernment, or agency. Because healing isn’t about becoming less capable. It’s about having more than one choice.

If you’ve ever said “I’m fine” when you definitely weren’t, this conversation is for you. 

Wanna say hi? Send a text!

At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/

Join a vibrant community that takes you deeper into topics with a private podcast feed available on your fave podcast platform, helpful tools served right to your inbox, and quarterly Zoom calls to bring it all together! Learn more and join now -  https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/upcoming-events-groups/trauma-healing-support-online/

 This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?

You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V

Support the show

👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!

📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive Control

Wanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi

📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:
💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com
📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor
🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com

💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.com

Subscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there

🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

What if you have to make a life-changing decision—but you’re terrified that whatever you choose will make things worse?

For survivors of coercive control, decision-making can feel almost impossible. After years of being punished, criticized, or controlled for everyday choices, even deciding what you want can feel dangerous. Add children, finances, custody, safety, and an unpredictable coercive controller to the equation, and waiting for certainty can feel like the only safe option.

But certainty may never come.

In this episode of Hey Tabi, Tabitha Westbrook explores how coercive control can train survivors out of making decisions—and how you can begin rebuilding that capacity without ignoring the very real risks you may be facing.

You’ll learn:

• Why decision paralysis after coercive control isn’t the same as ordinary indecisiveness
• How fear can shift from a useful warning system into your decision-maker
• Why trying to appease a coercive controller can keep you stuck
• How to separate what you actually know from what fear is predicting
• Why breaking a massive decision into smaller choices can make moving forward possible
• How nervous system regulation can help you see more options
• Why practicing small, everyday choices can rebuild autonomy
• The important difference between making a good decision and getting a good outcome
• Why confidence sometimes comes after you choose, not before

One of the most important questions Tabitha offers in this episode is:

“What is the best decision I can make right now with what I actually know?”

You may not be able to control the outcome. You cannot control what another person chooses to do. But you can learn to make thoughtful, strategic decisions using the information you have, account for real safety concerns, and take the next best step in front of you. 

Wanna say hi? Send a text!

At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/

 This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?

You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V

Support the show

👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!

📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive Control

Wanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi

📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:
💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com
📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor
🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com

💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.com

Subscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there

🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

What if men and women were never meant to choose between being a warrior and being a lover?

In this episode of Hey Tabi, Tabitha welcomes back trauma therapist and author Sam Jolman for a powerful conversation about masculinity, femininity, sexuality, intimacy, and the ways Christian culture can unintentionally reduce both men and women to narrow gender roles.

Sam and Tabitha explore why men need permission to embrace tenderness, vulnerability, emotional connection, and love, and why women need space to embrace strength, assertiveness, and their own “warrior” heart. They also unpack common messages about sex and gender in the church and offer a fuller vision of relationships where strength and tenderness work together rather than compete.

The episode closes with a guided journaling invitation to help you explore your own warrior and lover and consider what greater integration could look like in your life.

Connect with The Journey and The Process: https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/

Learn more about Sam Jolman:
📖 The Sex Talk You Never Got: https://amzn.to/4gFvCY2
✍️ Sam’s Substack: https://substack.com/@samjolman
🌐 Sam’s website: https://www.samjolman.com/

Wanna say hi? Send a text!

At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/

Join a vibrant community that takes you deeper into topics with a private podcast feed available on your fave podcast platform, helpful tools served right to your inbox, and quarterly Zoom calls to bring it all together! Learn more and join now -  https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/upcoming-events-groups/trauma-healing-support-online/

 This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?

You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V

Support the show

👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!

📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive Control

Wanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi

📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:
💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com
📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor
🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com

💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.com

Subscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there

🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

PTSD symptoms don’t always look like flashbacks—these overlooked trauma responses can affect nearly every part of life.

What if some of the things you criticize yourself for are actually trauma responses that once helped you survive?

In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook explores PTSD symptoms nobody talks about—the ones that may not resemble the cultural picture of nightmares, flashbacks, and panic attacks. Trauma can also show up as executive dysfunction, decision fatigue, anger, emotional numbness, loss of pleasure, dissociation, hyper-independence, perfectionism, over-functioning, difficulty resting, difficulty receiving good things, grief, and struggles with faith.

You’ll also discover why complex trauma can continue affecting the nervous system long after the danger has passed. Instead of simply asking, “What is wrong with me?” Tabitha invites you to get curious: What happened? What did your mind and body learn in order to survive? What might this response be trying to protect you from—and does it still serve you now?

Healing from trauma isn’t about becoming perfectly regulated or never getting activated again. It’s about developing flexibility, reconnecting with your body, rebuilding agency, practicing self-compassion, creating healthy relationships, and learning that rest, connection, pleasure, and even receiving good things can become safe again.

Resources Mentioned:

📚 The Shattered Soul by Colleen Ramser ➡️ https://amzn.to/4qp3VaC

🔴 Ready to stop pushing harder and learn to Try Softer? Join an in-person or online Try Softer group ➡️ https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/try-softer-group/

⭐️ Join the Transformational Topics Community for more resources and conversations ➡️ https://app.helloaudio.fm/feed/6907e1ce-23d2-4296-835e-5b478472f514/signup

Wanna say hi? Send a text!

At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/

 This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?

You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V

Support the show

👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!

📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive Control

Wanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi

📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:
💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com
📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor
🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com

💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.com

Subscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there

🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

Coercive control can be difficult to recognize because it often begins long before physical violence. It can look like intense attention, seemingly reasonable concerns about your relationships, increasing expectations around your time and communication, or subtle pressure that gradually makes your world smaller.

In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist and domestic abuse/ coercive control expert Tabitha Westbrook explains why the pattern matters more than any single behavior. She explores how coercive control can affect intimate relationships while also examining similar dynamics in workplaces, churches and religious organizations, families, politics, and online communities.

You’ll also hear why charisma and character are not the same thing. Confidence doesn’t automatically equal competence. Charm doesn’t guarantee safety. Authority doesn’t guarantee integrity. And someone can be deeply admired in public while behaving very differently toward the people closest to them.

Rather than leaving you with a list of red flags that could create fear or suspicion, Tabitha offers a framework for discernment. One of the central questions is simple: Is this influence expanding your ability to think, flourish, maintain healthy relationships, and exercise your own judgment—or is it slowly narrowing your world?

Want your red flags t-shirt? Grab it here - https://www.tabithawestbrook.com/store/p/those-red-flags-2025

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Wanna say hi? Send a text!

At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/

 This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?

You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V

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👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!

📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive Control

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📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:
💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com
📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor
🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com

💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.com

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🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.