Hey Tabi!

When Kindness Is a Trap: The Truth About Manipulative Kindness in Abusive Relationships


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What if the sweetest thing someone ever did for you… was actually part of the abuse?

In this powerful episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook dives deep into the tactic of manipulative kindness, a dangerous, confusing form of coercive control that keeps victims stuck in toxic relationships.

This isn’t the “honeymoon phase.” It’s not real love. It’s a weapon dressed up as a gift.

You’ll learn:

  • What manipulative kindness looks like in real life
  • Why it feels so good—and why that’s part of the trap
  • How trauma bonding and intermittent reinforcement keep you hooked
  • Red flags to watch for (like minimization, strings attached, and false repentance)
  • How to tell the difference between real kindness and control wrapped in charm
  • Where to turn for help and how to begin healing

If you've ever been told, “See? He's trying,” right after being harmed, or felt guilty for not being grateful for someone’s sudden niceness, this episode is for you.

💡 Kindness should never come with strings.
💡 Control wrapped in charm is still control.

🎧 Listen now and take the first step toward clarity and healing.
🛑 Need help? Resources below.

📚 Mentioned Resources:

  • Called to Peace Ministries → https://www.calledtopeace.org
  • Conquer by Leslie Vernick → https://leslievernick.com/nav-conquersignup/
  • The Marriage You Want by Sheila Wray Gregoire → https://a.co/d/4jjmxkj
  • Find a trauma-informed therapist → https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com

Wanna say hi? Send a text!

🎧 Subscribe to Hey Tabi for more expert conversations on trauma, faith, and healing.

Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive Control

Wanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi

📩 Connect with Tabitha:
💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com
📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor
🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com

💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.com
📲 The Journey & The Process Instagram - www.instagram.com/_tjatp

Subscribe to my YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there

👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!

🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

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Hey Tabi!By Tabitha

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