My guest today is Carl Thomas. Carl is the founder of Live Free Ministries, which provides resources like the Live Free Community app for men who hunger for real freedom from unwanted sexual behaviors, and the Live Free Wives community for spouses who need a safe space to heal from betrayal. He is also the author of a new book entitled When Shame Gets Real: A New Way to Talk About Sex, Porn, and Masturbation.  Our conversation today revolves around this issue of shame – what it is, how it perpetuates unhealthy (and even unwanted) sexual behaviors, what it takes to live free from it, and why authentic community is so powerful for dealing with shame effectively.  To learn more about Carl and his ministry, visit LiveFreeCommunity.org. To find out more about his book, go to WhenShameGetsReal.com. More Resources:Men.Bebroken.comThe Lies We Believe by Dr. Chris ThurmanGrace-Based Recovery Online Study GroupsRelated Podcasts & Videos:Overcoming the Fear that Lives in My HeadRecovery Discovery: No More ShameSilencing Your Inner Critic---------- Please rate and review our podcast: Apple Podcasts Subscribe to our YouTube channel.

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donations

When Shame Gets Real (with Carl Thomas)

Pure Sex Radio tackles the tough subjects of porn and sexual brokenness and offers practical principles for living every day with sexual integrity. PSR seeks to help men, women, and families move from sexual brokenness to wholeness in Christ. If you have questions or comments regarding the show, or if you have a suggestion for a topic on an upcoming broadcast, please email us at psr@bebroken.org. Or follow us @PureSexRadio.

Religion & Spirituality

Other

Spirituality

Christianity

Buddhism

Hinduism

Judaism

Islam

Sexuality

Health

Health & Fitness

DOUBLE YOUR GIFT! Thanks to a generous donor, we can offer a $75,000 match for gifts given between May 1 through July 31. Every dollar you give, collectively up to $75,000, will be DOUBLED! Give Today and double your impact. Thank you for your support! ---------- In today’s episode, we have Vern Tompke back with us. Vern is our Canadian pastor and coach who helps other pastors and men break free from unwanted sexual behaviors.  We talked about the three key stages of recovery, which are: Breaking the habitAddressing the deep-seated issues of the heart and mindRecalibrating sexuality to enjoy the abundant life Christ offers
 Whether you are just starting your recovery journey or years into it, Vern’s wisdom is a beacon of hope. And we mention lots of really good resources that will help you along the way, which we will include in the show notes.  To learn more about Vern and his resources, visit BandofBrothers.care. Topics Covered in This Episode: Three stages of recovery from porn addictionBreaking the habitDealing with underlying issuesRedeeming or recalibrating one's sexualityImportance of practical tools, boundaries, and grace-filled accountabilityAddressing underlying lies, pain, wounds, attachment issues, and unmet needsThe ongoing nature of the recovery journeyEmphasizing the need to move beyond objectification and consumption of beautyEncouraging men to engage in real relationships and build healthy social and coping skillsAdvocating for living in the light, engaging in community, and seeking a fuller understanding of recovery
 More Resources:Willpower Doesn't Work* by Benjamin HardyThe Thing Beneath the Thing* by Steve CarterThe Psychology of Porn* by Andrew BaumanRelated Podcasts:The Stopwatch Acting Out CycleUnderstanding Freedom, Identity, and Creativity in Addiction RecoveryA 3-Year Roadmap of Recovery and Emotional Growth
 *This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn a commission on qualifying purchases. ---------- Please rate and review our podcast: Apple Podcasts Subscribe to our YouTube channel.

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donations

Navigating the 3 Stages of Recovery from Porn Addiction

The Selfishness Addiction – Yes, you read that right. We're diving deep into how an addiction to selfishness can shape our behaviors and strain our relationships. We’re peeling back the layers of why we sometimes confuse self-preservation with self-centeredness. Understanding Freedom – We start by exploring the true meaning of freedom. It's not just about breaking free from unwanted behaviors like porn addiction; it's about finding peace, rest, and joy. We're talking about aligning with the soul's fundamental needs, as taught by Jesus himself. From Selfish to Selfless – We've all been there, right? Putting ourselves first, fast, and completely. But here's the kicker: the more we focus on ourselves, the less satisfied we feel. It's a paradox that we unpack with humor, honesty, and a touch of humility. A New Perspective – Imagine realizing that your whole life has been a race to put yourself first, only to end up feeling empty. That's the story of a Christian brother who woke up to his selfishness addiction. It's a powerful moment of vulnerability that might just change the way you see your own life. Growth and Healing – This episode isn't just about identifying the problem; it's about finding the path to healing. We discuss the importance of taking small steps towards giving, towards others, and towards a life filled with genuine connection. So, if you've ever felt caught in the cycle of coping and surviving rather than truly living, this episode is for you. It's time to break free from the chains of selfishness and step into a life of selfless joy. Topics Covered in this Episode:Selfishness addiction and its impact on behavior and relationshipsUnderstanding the difference between healthy self-care and selfishnessSelfishness driven by fear and focus on one's own desires and needsThe concept of freedom and its relation to the deeper needs of individualsThe importance of aligning with the fundamental needs of the soulThe distinction between healthy self-awareness and selfishnessThe detrimental impact of selfishness on individuals and their relationshipsThe immature and wounded nature of selfishness addictionThe natural order of relationships and the importance of learning to be selfless while still caring for oneselfThe insight and honesty of admitting and addressing selfishness addiction
 More Resources:Gateway to Freedom 3-Day Intensive for MenDoctorMarriage.orgFind a CounselorRelated Podcasts:Self-Care vs. SelfishnessAbout Your Emotional Connecting SkillsIt's All About Me!
 ---------- Please rate and review our podcast: Apple Podcasts Subscribe to our YouTube channel.

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donations

Is Selfishness Addiction Holding You Back from True Freedom and Joy?

Shawna Meek, founder of Living Stones Coaching, joins us to share her incredible journey through marriage, divorce, and unexpected reconciliation. Shawna opens up about the challenges she faced in her relationship, from communication breakdowns to confronting her husband's infidelity – and learning how his previously undiagnosed neurodiversity impacted his sexual brokenness and their marriage.  Shawna then shares about setting boundaries, the importance of individual growth, and how she and her husband both worked on themselves to rebuild trust.  Her story is a testament to the complexities of love and the resilience and faith needed to navigate them. As a result of this journey, Shawna turned her personal trials into a passion for coaching and helping others through their own relationship struggles.  To learn more about Shawna and her resources, visit LivingStoneCoaching.com.  Topics Covered in this Episode: Shauna Meek's personal story and experiencesNavigating neurodiversity challenges in relationships and marriageSeeking help and setting boundariesHealing and recovery processIndividual coping strategies and personal growthBuilding trust and safety in a marriageLessons learned about oneself and each otherTransformation and growth in relationshipsOvercoming communication differencesReconciliation and remarriage
 More Resources:Determined for More* by Shawna MeekNeurodiverse Coaching and MentoringHope RestoredRelated Podcasts:The Journey to StayConflict Management for Marriages Healing from BetrayalHelping Couples Walk the Path of Restoration After Sexual Betrayal
 *This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn a commission on qualifying purchases. ---------- Please rate and review our podcast: Apple Podcasts Subscribe to our YouTube channel.

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donations

Neurodiversity Challenges in Marriage Restoration

I'm thrilled to have the amazing Danisa Suarez back on the program. Today, we're tackling a subject that's really important to a lot of people: women's understanding of their own bodies and sexuality.  Danisa has put together an incredible e-course called "The Story of Her," (https://ccicourses.org/thestoryofher) and she's here to share why it's so essential for women to recognize and celebrate their unique design and to confidently step into their womanhood. We're not shying away from the difficult topics either—we discuss how to heal from past wounds and pursue a godly approach to sexual fulfillment. Plus, Danisa’s got some solid, actionable tips for anyone looking for support on this path.  This episode is all about empowering women and deepening their relationship with God. Make sure you don't miss out on Danisa’s valuable insights—follow her on Instagram for more inspiring talks! @danisasuarezoficial Topics Covered in this Episode: Importance of understanding women's bodies and sexualityInfluences affecting women's self-imageFighting against comparisonChallenges faced by women who have experienced brokenness, abuse, or sexual violationsLack of mentorship and education for women regarding their bodiesImpact of social media, mass media, and culture on women's self-imageWomen's sexuality and its connection to confidence, knowledge, and attitudesChallenges and roadblocks in the journey towards sexual health and wholenessImportance of seeking support and guidance in the journey towards sexual health and wholenessEmpowerment, encouragement, and finding fulfillment in the relationship with God
 More Resources:SheRecovery.comCCI CounselingThe Body Revelation*
 Related Podcasts:Understanding Female Sexuality and StrugglesWhat Men Need to Know About Female SexualityWomen and Sex
 *This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn a commission on qualifying purchases. ---------- Please rate and review our podcast: Apple Podcasts Subscribe to our YouTube channel.

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donations

Helping Women Embrace their Bodies and Sexuality

Why do we fall? This is a deep question and we can’t ever fully answer the “why” questions. But it’s worth the conversation. In this episode, Stephen and I dive deep into the emotional and spiritual tangles that we all face. We begin by talking about the roots of our emotional programming and then move on to the emotional-spiritual connection and the complexities of stumbling and falling; it’s not just about sin. Emotional maturity is just as vital. Finally, we aim to provide some practical wisdom for facing emotional pain and the power of community in our healing and recovery journey. Even though we fall, we can get back up! For daily thoughts to help on this emotional growth journey, visit DoctorMarriage.org.  Topics Covered in this Episode:Interconnectedness of emotional and spiritual aspects of human behaviorDevelopment of emotional program in childhood and its influence on adult behaviorCommon disconnect between strong spiritual knowledge and emotional strugglesBiblical concept of sin and falling short of the glory of GodInfluence of parental values and language on emotional program developmentChallenges of navigating relationships and emotions in childhoodRecognizing and addressing unresolved emotional issues in relation to spiritual struggles and addictionsUnderstanding the connection between spiritual and emotional programs for maturity and healingExploring breakdowns in the emotional program and addressing emotional painSeeking community support for emotional healing and maturity
 More Resources:Find a Support GroupGateway to Freedom 3-day intensiveUntangling Emotions* by Groves and SmithRelated Podcasts:Helping Men Grow and MatureA 7-Day Challenge for Emotional GrowthA 3-Year Roadmap of Recovery and Emotional Growth
 *This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn a commission on qualifying purchases. ---------- Please rate and review our podcast: Apple Podcasts Subscribe to our YouTube channel.

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donations

When Shame Gets Real (with Carl Thomas)

Download our free app to listen on your phone