One thing you must realize is that the way a covert narcissist interacts with you is not about you. They learned these interaction traits in childhood. Somewhere at a young age, they learned that offering give in a conversation is dangerous and painful. They learned that give equals attack.

You can see this is how you react to their attacks. You learn that it isn't safe to offer peace in conversations with them. They learned this as a child and developed a phobia of give.

They can't say something as simple as, "I could have said it better, sorry about that, or "You probably didn’t mean it that way, that’s on me"

How do you heal from this abuse? Accept that they are never going to agree with your perspective. They can't, that requires give. Understand that this has nothing to do with you, your choice of words, your tone of voice, or anything else you did or didn't do. This is about their past.

In this episode, I give you one very effective tactic for avoiding these blow-ups with a covert narcissist when you have to interact with them. Try it out. It works!

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I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

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Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

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