Wife On The Rocks I Gaslighting, Addiction, Codependency, Al Anon, Alcoholism, Recovery

In this special two-part episode, I sit down with my husband—who is in long-term recovery from alcoholism—to answer a heartfelt and all-too-relatable question from a listener:

"My husband admits his drinking is a problem, but he's not doing anything about it. If I ask him if he’s looked into AA, Celebrate Recovery, or Regeneration, he says he hasn’t had time and will look into it later. He’s gone to AA meetings before but says he doesn’t think it’s for him. Do I keep bringing this up? I don’t want to nag him, but it’s eating at me inside not to say anything. I feel like we’re in a painful cycle—something happens, we talk about it for a couple days, then we move on until it happens again. I feel like he’s just appeasing me in those moments because he knows I’ll eventually stop asking. He doesn’t communicate his feelings at all, so I have no idea what he’s thinking."

Together, we reflect honestly on what life was like when we were in that same stuck place—and what we wish we had known then. From both sides of the struggle, we share what was helpful, what wasn’t, and what conversations planted real seeds of change.

In Part 1, we explore:

Whether your husband is just beginning to wrestle with his drinking or you feel trapped in a repeating cycle of hope and disappointment, this episode offers honest insight and encouragement from our story and our victory! 

Resources Mentioned:

Joe and Charlie Tapes- 2 Old Timers in AA walking and talking through the Big Book and breaking it down in a way only they can do:) These are available on YouTube and also on the AA app. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLhl3xlE0-GdweI1gG5QoeY9iIRCt2w_aI 

If you have a question you'd like answered on a future episode—or just want to connect—you can email me at [email protected].

If you’re interested in going deeper into the dynamics of your specific situation, you can book a summer 1:1 session with me here:

https://calendly.com/wifeontherocks/1hrcoachingsession 

Part 2 continues next week with more discussion, insight, and tackling the repetitive cycle that conversations tend to have in active addiction. (Alcohol or Drugs will elicit the same patterns of the cycle resisting sobriety and recovery.)

Summer is supposed to be a time of fun, family, and freedom — but for Christian wives of alcoholics, events like the 4th of July, barbecues, and neighborhood gatherings can catch you off guard with behavior not anticipated. Expecting Family Time but your husband self sabotages in order to drink and you end up alone or with all the kids without him?

In this heartfelt episode of Wife on the Rocks, we’re talking about the real effects of alcohol in marriage — not just on the alcoholic husband, but on the wife and the family unit as a whole. From grill outs where he’s the only one drinking, to family plans that suddenly unravel into chaos, to fireworks nights you end up attending alone with the kids… we get into all of it.

You’ll hear:

How summer events often reveal painful patterns in alcoholic behavior

The emotional toll of being pushed away so he can drink in peace while you carry the family.

The subtle (and not-so-subtle) sabotage that ruins what should be family time

Why choosing not to attend certain events can actually be wise

What it looks like to reclaim peace, even when your heart is breaking

And most importantly, we talk about how you can walk this hard road with strength, with faith, and without losing yourself. Even when it hurts, even when you’re crying on the drive to the fireworks — you are not alone.

💬 Want to share your story or suggest a future episode topic? Email me at [email protected]

https://calendly.com/wifeontherocks/1hrcoachingsession

In this episode of Wife on the Rocks, we’re talking about what it feels like to live in a world full of uncertainty—when bombs are being dropped overseas and emotional bombs are going off in your own home.

With growing tensions between Israel and Iran and news of U.S. involvement, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the global instability. But for Christian wives married to alcoholics, the chaos isn’t just out there—it’s also right here, in the home. How do we process fear about the future when we’re already living in a constant state of survival? How do we prepare our families wisely when our husbands aren’t in a position to lead, protect, or even participate in the conversation?

We explore:

What to do when your alcoholic husband can’t offer the strength and stability your family needs

How to talk to your kids when they need reassurance

Why self-sufficiency and emergency planning feel overwhelming when addiction dominates your daily life

Practical steps to quiet your mind and lead your family in peace, even when the world feels like it’s spinning out of control

How to reset your spirit with Scripture and walk in God’s wisdom, not fear

We’re anchoring this episode in two powerful verses:

If you're feeling anxious, under-equipped, or just plain tired of holding it all together—you’re not alone. This episode will help you take a deep breath, reset your mind, and find your footing again with God’s peace as your guide.

🕊 Book a private coaching session: https://calendly.com/wifeontherocks/1hrcoachingsession 

How do you know if someone is safe to talk to about your marriage, your alcoholic husband, or the chaos addiction is causing in your home? In this episode of Wife on the Rocks, we explore a powerful litmus test to help Christian wives of alcoholics discern who they can trust with their story—and who might cause more harm than help.

If you’ve ever wondered whether you should open up to a friend, family member, pastor, or counselor about your situation, this episode is for you. You’ll learn how to recognize the difference between biblical counsel and secular advice and how to spot red flags in emotional conversations.

We talk about:

Navigating life with an alcoholic spouse through a Christian lens

How to find safe, biblical support for Christian wives of addicts

The dangers of emotional affairs and male “mentors”

Why gossip and broken trust can hurt your healing

Secular vs. faith-based advice for wives of alcoholics

What makes someone a trustworthy, prayerful support

The importance of recovery groups like Al-Anon for family members of addicts

Plus, I share how Christian coaching for wives of alcoholics can be a lifeline when you don’t have a safe person in your life who understands what you’re walking through. As someone who’s lived this personally, I offer faith-based, confidential coaching to help you navigate this painful season with clarity, peace, and spiritual strength. Email me at [email protected] to gain access to the schedule and book a session!

Keywords: Christian wife, alcoholic husband, addiction in the home, Christian counseling, faith-based support, boundaries in marriage, recovery, Al-Anon, emotional safety, biblical advice, Christian marriage help, alcoholism, Christian addiction counseling, wives of addicts, Christian coach, safe support for addiction, Godly counsel for wives, alcohol addiction recovery support.

Are you the only one paying attention to the warning signs? What even are the warning signs for Liver Disease and Liver Cirhossis and when to expect them. There may be NO symptoms or concerns at this time, but looking in the future has you concerned? Maybe you are seeing his yellowing eyes, his constant fatigue, his mood swings? Let's unpack this together. 

If that’s you, I want to start with this:

In this episode, I speak directly to the Christian wife who feels alone in her concern — like she’s watching a slow-motion car crash while everyone else looks away. We’ll talk honestly about what alcohol does to the liver, how quietly damage can build, and why your fear makes perfect sense. I’ll also walk you through what you can lovingly release, because it was never yours to carry.

💡 You'll hear:

What the liver actually does and why alcohol attacks it silently

What liver damage looks like in real life (and why symptoms often come late)

The real reason your concern matters — even if he’s not ready to change

What it means to care without carrying

A reminder that you are not his doctor

This isn’t just about biology — it’s about the burden of love, and the freedom of surrender.

📩 Got questions or want to connect?

Hepatic Liver, Liver Cirhossis, Liver Disease Signs, Alcohol, Alcoholism, Fatty Liver, Pancreatitis,

You are not alone, sister.

As a Christian wife living with an alcoholic husband, you’ve probably wrestled with a deep emotional conflict: “I know I’m supposed to forgive, but I’m furious.” In this episode, we’re opening up the conversation about anger—what Scripture really says, why it’s not a sin to feel it, and how to move through it without shame.

We’ll unpack the emotional toll of carrying an unfair burden, the conflict between Christian service and soul-level exhaustion, and what options are actually available to you as a woman of faith in a hurting home. If you’ve been stuffing your emotions to be the "good Christian wife," this one is for you.

📩 I'd love to hear your story or pray for you—email me anytime at [email protected]

🎙️ Special Tribute: Phil Robertson

Before we close, I’m honoring the life and legacy of Phil Robertson, founder of Duck Commander, beloved husband to Miss Kay, and a man radically transformed by the grace of Jesus. His early years were marked by addiction and brokenness, but God wrote a redemption story that has reached millions.

Their powerful testimony is captured in the film The Blind, which tells the raw and beautiful journey from chaos to Christ. You can also hear Phil and his family on their podcast Unashamed, where they boldly share Scripture, real-life struggles, and the power of the gospel without holding back.

Phil’s story reminds us that no life is too far gone for Jesus to redeem. And that hope? It’s for your home, too.

Still unsure if your husband is “just” a heavy drinker or a true alcoholic? The truth is: chasing a diagnosis often becomes a distraction that delays the healing process.

In this episode, we talk about why trying to “figure him out” won’t fix anything—and what you can do instead. Whether your husband meets a textbook definition or not, the chaos still hurts, and you deserve peace.

You'll hear:

Why obsessing over the “right” label can keep wives stuck in fear and codependency

4 litmus test questions to help you decide when a boundary is needed

How both heavy drinking and alcoholism cause emotional instability in the home

A Christian perspective on stepping forward without all the answers

Real-life discussion of when helping crosses the line into enabling

This episode is an invitation to stop diagnosing and start discerning what God is calling you to do in your family. 

💌 If you have questions you’d like me to cover on the podcast, or want more info about 1-on-1 coaching, email me at [email protected]

Are you constantly wondering whether your husband is an alcoholic or “just” a heavy drinker? Maybe you've searched for clarity in books, blogs, or online quizzes—hoping that labeling his behavior will give you peace.

In this episode, we break down what the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous says about the three types of drinkers, including what defines a “real alcoholic”—and why understanding this framework may help, but it’s not your responsibility to diagnose.

You'll hear:

A clear overview of the 3 drinker types described in AA literature

What a "real alcoholic" looks like according to the Big Book

Why this knowledge can offer insight—but also keep wives stuck

Real-life home examples of what each type might look like in daily life

Encouragement for Christian wives navigating confusion and chaos

This episode offers education—not to label your husband—but to help you understand what you’re dealing with and why his drinking affects your heart and home either way.

If you want to read the full chapter regarding this in the Big Book of  AA here is a link to the Big Book for free online on the AA website. Scroll down for Chapter 2. There is a Solution. (pp.17-29)

https://www.aa.org/the-big-book 

💌 Want to be added to the waitlist or learn more about 1:1 coaching?

💭 Have a question you'd like answered on the show?

If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re helping your husband or enabling his addiction, this episode is for you. As Christian wives, we’re called to love and support—but when codependency creeps in, it can be hard to tell if our actions are helping or hurting.

In today’s episode, I share two simple but powerful questions—your litmus test—to help you decide where a boundary might be needed. These questions will help you check your motives, discern if you're stepping into an enabler role, and bring clarity to those hard, in-the-moment decisions.

We’ll talk about how not setting boundaries can leave you feeling more like his mother than his wife, and how resentment often builds when we’re stuck in a cycle of codependency. We'll also explore the ever-shifting line between helping from a place of faith and unintentionally enabling, and why that line often has to be redrawn with each situation.

If you're navigating the storm of loving a man in addiction and want to reclaim your peace, this episode offers both practical tools and spiritual encouragement.

✨ Want to be added to the waitlist or get more info about 1:1 coaching sessions?

💬 Have a question you’d love to hear answered on the show?

In this episode on boundaries, we return to the basics—what they are, why they matter, and how they serve as a powerful shield for your peace. Think of boundaries not as walls to keep your husband out, but as a protective dome that creates space between you and the chaos of addiction. This distance isn’t about punishment—it’s about preserving your well-being and protecting your children.

If you're a Christian wife navigating life with an alcoholic husband, this episode is for you. Whether you’re just beginning to explore boundaries or need a fresh reminder of why they matter, you’ll find clarity and encouragement here.

 Want your questions answered in a future episode?

 If you're struggling to set healthy boundaries and need outside perspective, support, and accountability, I’m opening up a handful of 1-on-1 sessions soon. Email me at [email protected] to be added to the list.