What do you do when the person you love most is trapped in addiction—and you realize you’re powerless to change them? 

This conversation is going to share the raw truth about addiction and codependency that many Christians are not able to say out loud. The crazy-cycle is real in a home or a marriage where there is addiction. And learning to love someone who is addicted will take grace and wisdom that can only come from God.

After living in the crazy-cycle for years, things started to make sense after Yvonne’s husband revealed his addiction to pornography and drugs. But even after the truth came out, nothing would ever be the same again. As her husband entered a recovery process, Yvonne began her journey of uncovering her need to please and take care of others, and her drive to live a life of performance and perfection. 

She needed to change just as much as her husband needed to change.

Listen as Lynn Roush, LPC and Yvonne Bernard pull back the curtain on 5 pervasive myths Christians believe about addiction, the needed boundaries that will save your sanity, and the one truth that can offer you lasting peace. If you’ve ever felt stuck on the crazy-cycle of loving an addict, this hope-filled conversation is for you.

Download our free resource: 5 Steps to Setting Healthy Boundaries 

‘It Will Never Happen to Me!’ Children of Alcoholics: As Youngsters - Adolescents - Adults by Claudia Black

Beyond Boundaries: Learning to Trust Again in Relationships by Dr. John Townsend

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You’ve identified the problem, but what do you do now?  How can you break free from the grasp of pornography?

In this insightful episode, John and Austin start with what NOT to do. You’ll hear about the things that seem helpful, but ultimately won’t produce lasting change.

Then you’ll come to understand 4 Core Beliefs that may be keeping you stuck, and 5 Habits you can practice to begin and continue the process of breaking free from porn. 

When you listen, you’ll learn practical and faithful steps to take that will create and cultivate hope instead of the familiar experience of feeling stuck, ashamed, and broken. 

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Unfortunately it is all too common for those who struggle with pornography to have some sort of sexual abuse in their past. But why? Does the abuse cause the addiction, or is there simply a correlation? The jury is still out on this question. 

Although everyone’s story is different, pastor and counselor Austin Conner, MDiv, PLPC helps connect the dots on why and how those with sexual abuse in their background might be more susceptible to pornography. 

When you understand more about what abuse does to a person’s view of themselves, their sexuality, and the world around them, you will grow in your empathy and understanding for those who are stuck in an addictive cycle with pornography.

Finally, an important resource for those with sexual abuse in their background is the book On The Threshold of Hope: Opening the Door for Healing for Survivors of Sexual Abuse by Diane Langberg.

This is a battle that the enemy of your soul loves to keep in the dark.

But we’d like to bring it out into the light—and provide hope for anyone who is caught in the trap of porn addiction.

In this episode of our ongoing series, Dealing with Your Addictions, John and Austin unpack the reasons why so many people get hooked—and how understanding the roots of it can be the first step toward freedom. The gravitational pull of pornography is impossible to ignore for both men and women. No one just wakes up addicted to pornography. Instead, there is a story to be told about how you got there and why you stay there. 

Listen as John and Austin discuss how porn can become all-consuming as well as the growing accessibility and depravity of online sexual content. You’ll also learn 5 reasons why you may find yourself addicted to porn, including: 

John and Austin also provide some specific strategies you can apply right now to reshape your heart and mind around this topic. When you understand the factors around porn addiction, you’ll be in a better place to figure out how to take steps that will lead to freedom—which you’ll hear more about in next Wednesday’s episode.

Also, look for a BONUS EPISODE coming out this Friday covering the topic of: “The Connection Between Abuse and Porn Addiction”. This will shed further light on the factors that may influence you, your self-perception and your vulnerability to addictive cycles.

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Are you ready to get “in the weeds” about weed?

In today’s society, marijuana use is legalized and normalized, so is there any reason not to use it? In this episode of our ongoing series, Dealing with Your Addictions, Austin, John, and Shay sit down for a straightforward conversation about the effects of marijuana and how Christians can make wise decisions in a culture where marijuana use is increasingly common.

We used to be able to say using Marijuana was off the table because it was illegal. But today, that’s no longer a good enough reason to say no, thanks to more and more states legalizing it.

So, should we use it or not?

A good place to start is to understand more about the nature of marijuana and how it impacts the brain and the body. Once you know more about that, you’re in a better place to get spiritual and biblical insights and perspectives.

This is exactly what we offer you in this episode. After you listen, you’ll have a TON of great info, have a wise biblical perspective, and get specific questions to ask yourself and others about marijuana usage.

Links to other resources:

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What if the unspoken rules of your childhood are still shaping your adult life? In this episode of With You in the Weeds, hosts Lynn and Shay Roush share a deeply personal conversation in their Dealing With Your Addictions series. Shay opens up about his upbringing in an alcoholic family, revealing how it impacted his trust, emotions, and relationships. 

Here are the sobering statistics: 1 in 6 U.S. children live with an alcoholic parent (1 in 4 with substance abuse); alcoholism drives nearly 50% of divorces; it causes 12,000 annual drunk-driving deaths and 232 million missed workdays; and heavy use shortens life by 2–24 years. 

Shay’s story highlights that behind every statistic, there is a person and family deeply impacted by alcohol. In addition to lost jobs, DWI’s, and stints in rehab facilities, Shay’s dad created financial fears that ultimately led to his parent’s divorce. Despite periods of sobriety, Shay’s father eventually died from alcohol, leaving Shay with a legacy of alcoholism that he didn’t want to repeat. 

This episode unpacks the 5 spoken rules of alcoholic families that perpetuate the cycle:

As a child grows up in this environment, these rules foster Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOAs) leading to fear of abandonment, difficulty trusting others, people-pleasing, emotional numbness, perfectionism, and addiction tendencies.

Shay’s journey demonstrates how God’s transformative power helped him learn healthier patterns of relating, and break the cycle of addiction in his family, allowing him to be emotionally present for his family despite early temptations. We believe that future generations can be impacted when you name and break the unspoken rules of your alcoholic family and allow God to heal the broken parts of your heart.

We recommend the book It Will Never Happen to Me by Claudia Black, for further explanation on the rules of an alcoholic family. 

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Is alcohol hindering your relationship with God or loved ones? 

As part of our Managing Your Addictions series, John Tinnin and Shay Roush welcome Aric Bremer, mid-Missouri radio personality and co-host of the podcast Blended, Blessed and Always a Mess. Aric’s path to sobriety emerged while coping with grief and loneliness, and was shaped by a desire for deeper and healthier relationships with his family and God.

Aric recounts his 25-year struggle with alcohol, which intensified after the tragic loss of his bonus daughter, Hallie, in 2022. Drinking to numb grief strained his relationships, but naming his struggle (“if you can name it, you can tame it”) led to sobriety 13 months ago. His choice was driven by a commitment to his wife Angie, their kids, and his faith, along with a growing awareness of how much he had to lose if he didn’t make a change.

No longer having alcohol as a way to cope with negative feelings, Aric found that taking walks was an effective way to manage cravings and build community with other men. Going alcohol-free has improved his sleep, sharpened his spiritual focus and allows him to be more present with his children in a way he never was before.

Although you may not be ready to go alcohol-free, you will be encouraged to reflect on alcohol’s role in your life and consider: am I ready to be on a path of health and healing?

Read Aric's blog at Miles For Him or check out our episode Relationship Red Flags, where Lynn Roush interviews Aric's wife, Angie Phillips, to discuss the warning signs of an unhealthy relationship. 

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Has anyone ever asked you about your drinking? Have you ever tried to cut back on alcohol? 

Drinking is a culturally accepted way to relax, unwind, celebrate or manage stress. And no one intentionally decides to have a drinking problem. It’s usually a slow drift—one drink here, a few more there—and before you know it, alcohol might be playing a bigger role in your life than you intended.

But how can you know if it’s a problem?

In this enlightening episode of our ongoing series, Dealing with Your Addictions, John and Austin talk about the very common issue of drinking alcohol and how to figure out if it’s a problem in your life.

You’ll hear about:

The goal of this episode isn’t to heap guilt on anyone or to say you can’t ever enjoy a glass of wine or a beer. Instead, it’s about understanding what alcohol really does to your brain and body so you can be honest with yourself about your relationship with alcohol.

This powerful conversation could be a game changer for you or someone you love!

What Alcohol Does to Your Brain, Body and Health - from the Huberman Lab on YouTube

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Have you ever tried to stop a destructive habit, only to find yourself even more tightly bound than before?

In this perceptive episode of our ongoing series, Dealing with Your Addictions, Austin sits down with David Koch, a licensed professional counselor, certified sex therapist, and director of program operations at Crossroads Counseling Centers in St. Louis, Missouri. David teaches on addictions and brings both professional expertise and personal vulnerability to the conversation.

Together, Austin and David explore the realities of addiction—what it is, how it develops, the role that contributing factors play, and why recovery is such a complex and often painful journey.

As you listen, you will get a behind-the-scenes look at:

Whether you’re personally wrestling with addiction, walking alongside someone who is, or simply wanting to better understand this issue, you’ll appreciate the honesty, hope, and practical insight this episode has to offer.

It turns out that struggling with addiction doesn’t make you a failure—it just means the healing part of your story hasn’t been written yet. 

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Why does addiction feel like an unstoppable river, sweeping you or someone you love further downstream?

As part of our “Dealing With Your Addictions” series, hosts Austin Conner and John Tinnin explore the streams that fuel addiction by combining their years of ministry and counseling experience to help you navigate the invisible forces at work in your life. 

They identify 5 streams that contribute to the addictive cycle:

Then they explain how shame is a hidden undercurrent that runs beneath this powerful river and intensifies the struggle with feelings of unworthiness and isolation. Addiction drowns out God’s love and presence, but there are important takeaways from this conversation that you can put into practice: 

First, map your personal "rivers"—assess which streams in your life contribute to your struggle and journal their influence. 

Second, embrace your agency, however small, and ask yourself, “Am I ready to change?”

Third, seek connection over isolation. No matter how hard you try, you can’t do it alone.

Finally, rest in Scripture’s promises—Romans 8:1 (there is no condemnation for those in Christ), 1 John 2:1 (Jesus is your advocate), and Matthew 11:28 (Jesus offers rest for those who are exhausted by the struggle)—and pray for God’s strength, knowing he’s already there with you in the weeds.

Our hope and prayer is that when you listen to this episode, you will leave with a desire to show others (and yourself) compassion, a greater sense of humility given the complexity of addiction, and tangible reminders of hope that health and healing are possible. 

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