The most beloved Christmas songs boast that it's the most wonderful time of the year, but is it really true? 

As counselors, we know that what you see on the outside of people’s lives never tells the full story. Even the beautiful family Christmas card isn’t an accurate picture of reality. The truth is that there’s a lot of sadness and brokenness in this world, and it’s easy to push it away and not enter into it. It’s normal to want to numb yourself or avoid and gloss over the hurt. 

In this episode John, Shay and Lynn acknowledge that the holidays can both be a time of levity and joy, but can also be a time where we are faced with hard realities. You may have recently lost a loved one, been given an unwanted health diagnosis, or are reeling from a painful breakup. Or maybe you're far away from family or friends and don't feel like celebrating over the holidays.

This episode will help you manage the grief you may be experiencing as we discuss:

Stay tuned for two more episodes in our “Keeping Your Sanity Over the Holidays” series!

Picture the scene: you’re sitting in front of the fireplace sipping hot cocoa while chatting quietly with family, reminiscing about the joys of your upbringing and your favorite family moments. Meanwhile, your children sit cross legged on the ground together, silently and peacefully listening with rapt attention. 

That’s how your holidays go as a family right? HA! If you’re like most people, the holiday season is filled less with peace, stillness, and cooperation and more with frantic, frustrating, and stressful situations. Or at best, a mix of the two. Travel, lack of routine and divided time with relatives and in-laws can make parenting extra challenging.

Christian and Andrew Neuenswander, busy parents of 3 young children, can definitely relate to the messiness of gathering with family over the holidays (Pro tip: never leave the house without extra handi-wipes!). In this episode Austin interviews this busy family of 5 about practical tips and suggestions for how you can “keep your sanity” over the holidays as parents.

When you finish listening, their insights and perspectives will help you apply these takeaways as you navigate tricky, fun, busy, and complex dynamics over the holiday season so that you can keep your sanity!

Are you looking forward to being with your family over the holidays? Or are you dreading the next family get together? 

Family drama can not only ruin the holiday spirit, it can create unnecessary hurt and division in a family that’s felt for years to come.

John and Lynn designed this episode to help you identify the pain points that lead to family drama:

This episode offers strategies to help you cope with potential family drama such as:

This is the first episode in our new series “Keeping Your Sanity Over the Holidays”, and will allow you to prepare for (or avoid!) family drama and enjoy some holiday spirit.

When relationships don’t work, there is often a sense of loss and heartache. Being single and longing for connection may mean you’re willing to compromise your standards in order to deal with loneliness or fulfill your need for intimacy.

Our hookup culture promotes a consumer mindset, detached from emotion, that encourages you to get your needs met without considering spiritual, intellectual or emotional compatibility. But that can lead to unwise dating decisions and further pain.

Shay and John share their own personal stories of painful breakups and the time it takes to heal when relationships don't work out. They offer wisdom and guidance when it comes to healing from divorce, how to know when you’re ready to date again, choosing wisely when it comes to finding a spouse and readiness for marriage.

If you are single and seeking companionship, or mending a broken heart after a breakup or divorce, this episode will challenge you to consider the importance of not jumping too quickly into a relationship. Singleness is a good thing; a time for personal growth and reflection, and an opportunity to prepare your heart for whatever the future holds.

American Hookup: The New Culture of Sex on Campus by Lisa Wade

If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review. You can subscribe to our newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com and follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds!

Are you concerned that you’re on the road to divorce? Maybe you and your spouse have fallen into unhealthy, frustrating, and toxic patterns that leave you wondering if your marriage can work. Now what? 

In this episode, Lynn, John, and Austin discuss the following patterns you can practice on your own and as a couple that can change the dynamic of your relationship:

On your own:

As a couple:

This is hard work, and it won’t happen overnight. But if and when you, and your spouse, are able and willing (the key phrase!) to practice these together, we’re confident that you’ll be on the road to better and deeper connection.

Book recommendations: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work and How We Love: Discover Your Love Style, Enhance Your Marriage

If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review. You can subscribe to our newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com and follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds!

Unfortunately, you can’t talk about how to make marriage work without acknowledging divorce. The prevalence of divorce means that everyone has some experience with it and has been negatively impacted when a marriage doesn’t work out.  

Because divorce is so common, we think it’s worth slowing down to ask: What happened to the marriage? Why didn’t things work out? What were the steps that led to divorce? Could divorce have been prevented? How has the family (and children in particular) been affected by divorce?

In this episode, John, Lynn, and Austin discuss the following 3 topics regarding divorce:

When you listen to this episode, you’ll be more equipped to evaluate the signs and symptoms that indicate your marriage may be in trouble. And once you do that, you can figure out if it’s possible to get off that road to divorce, which is the next episode! So stay tuned…

If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review. You can subscribe to our newsletter

at withyouintheweeds.com and follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds!

Between Two Worlds: The Inner Lives of Children of Divorce

Did you ever get “the talk?” Do you remember feeling encouraged and hopeful, or were you left feeling awkward, ashamed, confused and with more questions than answers? 

Whatever you might have learned about sex when you were growing up, your view of sex has likely been shaped by our sexualized culture that reduces sex to body parts. At the same time, you also may have been influenced by a church culture that emphasizes “purity” as the sole focus of your spiritual maturity. 

Yet both of these messages minimize or ignore the beauty and awe of sex that God intended for us to experience and can cause hurt and misunderstanding in marriage. For instance, men may view sex as something they need. And women may feel like they have to have sex with their husband so he won’t seek it somewhere else.

In this transparent conversation, Austin and John explore these topics with Sam Jolman, author of The Sex Talk You Never Got: Reclaiming the Heart of Masculine Sexuality. Sam lays out a captivating and beautiful view of sex and sexuality (especially for men) that we think will leave both men and women encouraged, equipped, and curious - all of which is needed to understand sex the way God intended it to be.

[Please note, this content is for adult ears only. We recognize that sex is an important, yet sensitive topic, and can bring up a wide range of emotions based on your personal experiences. We encourage you to listen at your own pace, giving yourself time to process as needed.]

If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review. You can subscribe to our newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com and follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds!

This episode might make you blush, it might make you cringe, and it might make you laugh! But if you want to make your marriage work, you’re going to have to address your sex life. Intrigued yet?

In this episode Austin and his wife Polly - yes Polly! - discuss:

We hope this episode helps you feel normalized, encouraged, and hopefully willing to address the topic of sex in your marriage wherever and however you need to. 

[Please note, this content is for adult ears only. We recognize that sex is an important, yet sensitive topic, and can bring up a wide range of emotions based on your personal experiences. We encourage you to listen at your own pace, giving yourself time to process as needed.]

If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review. You can subscribe to our newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com and follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds!

Do you know which habits will make the most positive and lasting impact on your marriage? Although ideas about what makes marriage work change from one generation to another, there are evidence-based habits that characterize a healthy marriage.

In this episode, Shay and Lynn explore what toxic behaviors erode your relationships including criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling and contempt. Using Gottman Institute research and biblical wisdom, this conversation sheds light on why these attitudes and actions do so much harm to your marriage.

Then we discuss what 4 habits you’ll want to practice instead:

There are many benefits to implementing these 4 habits into all of your relationships, and it’s never too late to start! This is a practical episode that will offer concrete changes you can work on now to create a stronger bond with your partner as you navigate the challenges of marriage. 

If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review. You can subscribe to our newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com and follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds!

Kids might be the best, and worst, thing for a marriage! On the one hand, they’re a “blessing from the Lord” (Ps. 127:3) and Jesus himself said “let the little children come to me” (Mt. 19:14). But on the other hand, they’re loud, messy, needy, don’t listen, and can (unintentionally) create barriers between spouses. 

Being aware of both the joys and hardships of parenting as well as the impact your kids may have on your marriage is an important first step to preventing a future breakdown.

In this episode Austin and Shay discuss the ways their kids have helped build up their own marriages. Then they acknowledge the following four ways that kids can break down marriage:

The great news is that there are several things you can do to build up your marriage in the midst of parenting stress! Austin and Shay recommend the following four practices:



If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review. You can subscribe to our newsletter at withyouintheweeds.com and follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds!