In this solo episode of Mindful Mondays with Shudu, Shudu gets deeply personal about the emotional cost of building — the missed birthdays, the unanswered messages, the friendships that shifted, and the grief of outgrowing a version of yourself you still love.

As a master’s student at Columbia University, an author, humanitarian, podcast host, entrepreneur, sister, partner, daughter, and friend, she confronts the question she’s constantly asked: “How do you do it all?” The honest answer? She doesn’t.

This episode explores what it means to pursue a dream you’ve carried since age 8 — with no blueprint, no predecessor in your family, and no manual for the loneliness that comes with carving a new path through tall grass.

If you’ve ever felt guilty for growing, struggled to show up the way you used to, or wondered whether it’s truly possible to have it all — this episode is for you.