He’s out from behind the green curtain! In this episode, my guest is none other than my producer and audio/editor wizard, Josh Gilbert. Josh spends about 23 hours per week listening to conversations on religion, psychology, and deconstruction. He joins me to tell how this work has fundamentally changed his worldview and sense of self.

For Josh, this immersive listening experience has made it nearly impossible for him to be surprised by new ideas and has pushed him towards comedy and entertainment for palette cleansing. He tells the story of attending both Black Lives Matter protests and police ride-alongs, and shares how listening has transformed his capacity for empathy and given him the ability to see multiple perspectives.

We dive into the psychology of repetition, the nature of intellectual humility, and how Josh's journey through religious scrupulosity and OCD diagnosis has intersected with his unique vantage point as someone who absorbs thousands of hours of other people's spiritual and psychological processing—without being able to contribute his own voice to the conversation.

In the Patron-only portion, we wrestle with the deeper questions of religious belief—Josh arguing that we inevitably construct our beliefs from our experiences rather than discovering objective truth, while I explore whether there's a defensible middle path where following Jesus's teachings remains worthwhile even if I'm entirely wrong about the metaphysical claims of Christianity.

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Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/

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Faith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/

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In this week’s episode of You Have Permission, I sit down with Dr. Richard B. Miller, Professor Emeritus from the University of Chicago Divinity School, to tackle his blunt question (and the title of his book): Why Study Religion? 

What starts as a defense against critics like Sam Harris—who'd rather we just stick to the "straight dope" of science—quickly spirals into something much more provocative: religion as the ultimate training ground for navigating our hypermediated, pluralistic world where we're drowning in conflicting authorities and information overload. Miller argues that religious studies isn't just academic navel-gazing but a crucial skill-building exercise in what he calls "post-critical reasoning," teaching us to hold multiple worldviews in tension without falling into either fundamentalist certainty or relativistic paralysis. 

We discuss why the secularization hypothesis got it wrong, how contemplative traditions across religions offer surprising resources for the ecological crisis, and why understanding the religious "wackadoodles" (my term, not his) might be the key to actually changing minds rather than just preaching to the choir. 

By the end, I'm wrestling with my own biases about expanding this podcast beyond Christianity, and you'll be questioning whether your discomfort with religion says more about the world's problems or your own assumptions about how to solve them.

Richard's Book | Why Religion Matters?

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Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/

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Last week I hosted a live Q&A session for our Patrons—one of the perks that comes with a YHP Patreon membership (now on sale for 42% off an annual subscription with code BIRTHDAY). 

We spent a good portion of the time talking about the concept of “audience capture” and this podcast in particular, and whether I've been shaped by what my listeners want to hear rather than staying true to my own interests and convictions. I admit I might be constitutionally allergic to giving people what they want and may be too resistant to audience preferences rather than captured by them—while another member suggests that my contrarian nature might itself be a form of audience capture!

Other questions come up about the experience of hosting a podcast— how I handle criticism, my defensive tendency to avoid listening to podcasters who do what I want to do better than me, and the raw envy I feel when I see smaller podcasts outperforming mine. We also get into the Internal Family Systems modality of therapy, which sparked a rich discussion about this approach to understanding different "parts" of ourselves.

In the Patreon-only portion, we continue the IFS discussion with input from trained therapists, discuss the challenges and benefits of having podcast listeners as therapy clients (including awkward moments when they look me up!), and field questions about work-life balance, religious traditions, and personal experiences with various therapy modalities.

Thanks to all of you who came… and hope to see the rest of you soon!

___________________________________________

Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/

Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKoch

Faith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/

Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankoch

Email about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: [email protected]

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It’s the last week of my 42nd birthday sale! Become an Annual Member of my Patreon now for just around $4 a month. 

Also, I'm now taking therapy clients in Washington State and coaching clients nationwide, specializing in religious transitions and life changes that intersect with faith journeys. More info here.

In this week’s “Top of Mind” segment, I reflect on the legacy of Dr. James Dobson, a prominent figure in evangelical psychology and parenting advice; highlighting some things Dobson got right, as well as areas where his teachings have caused great harm. I discuss Dobson's influence on conservative Christian views, critique some of his psychological perspectives, and evaluate the accuracy of his claims and evaluate the accuracy of his claims regarding queer sexuality, “secular humanism” in modern psychology, and his most influential area: parenting and discipline.

In today’s main interview (beginning around min 33), comedian Jeremy Alder is here to discuss his journey from fundamentalist homeschooling in Texas to stand-up comedy. Jeremy brings sharp wit and genuine theological insight as we trace his path from a prosperity gospel upbringing through youth group dropout years, then back to faith via Augustine's Confessions and Reformed University Fellowship at UT Austin. 

Now, Jeremy blends Eastern Orthodox spirituality with liberation theology while creating his "Christians That Don't Suck" video series that highlights radical Christian figures fighting against what he calls "Confederate fascist Christianity." 

We explore how his philosophy and religion background shaped both his comedy and his current pursuit of a degree to work with religious trauma survivors, the practical realities of changing careers in your forties with five kids, and making the leap into creative work that challenges both conservative Christians and secular audiences.

Jeremy's Website | Jeremyalder.com

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Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/

Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKoch

Faith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/

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My 42nd birthday sale is LIVE! Join as an Annual Member of my Patreon to get 42% off through September 1 and enjoy ad-free access to Patron-exclusive content like this!

In today’s bonus episode, team member Joy Vetterlein and I tackle what might be the most commonly given piece of marriage advice at wedding receptions: "don't go to bed angry." 

After seeing comedian Leanne Morgan flip this conventional wisdom on its head during a Colbert appearance, we dive into why this advice became so popular in mid-20th century America through the "infection model" of marital conflict, explore what modern neuroscience tells us about arguing while dysregulated (hint: your prefrontal cortex isn't working very well at a 7+ on the anger scale), and discover that the original biblical verse this advice comes from had absolutely nothing to do with marriage. I share my practical "rule of sevens" for knowing when to table an argument, and confess to being the type of person who will hijack wedding videographers to give counter-programming relationship advice.

In the Patreon portion, Joy and I get personal about our own marriages, including her revelation about needing to give herself permission to consider divorce in order to truly choose her marriage, and we explore a 7th-century monk's surprisingly modern insights about anger as spiritual energy.

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Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/

Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKoch

Faith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/

Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankoch

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Get 42% off a YHP annual Patreon membership, while we celebrate Dan’s 42nd birthday! (Ends Sept 1st)

~Use code “BIRTHDAY”~

It’s time for another Generation Gap Culture Hour (Full Episode Special), where Dan Koch sits down with Tony Jones and Josh Gilbert to peel back some layers about self-reflection, media habits, and big financial decisions, all through their differing generational perspectives.

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Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/

Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKoch

Faith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/

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My friend James Wightman joins me to tell me about What Would Jesus Sell? a documentary he's been working on for eight years about the Christian music industry. 

We get into how Christian music evolved from the genuine DIY spirit of the 1970s Jesus Movement into today's sanitized, focus-grouped machine that prioritizes “Becky” (the industry's target demographic of exhausted soccer moms) over artistic integrity. James reveals the open secrets everyone in green rooms and tour buses has whispered about for years, explains why the incentive structures actually punish authenticity while rewarding conformity, and shares how his own journey led him to realize that both artists and consumers are trapped in an exploitative system that uses spiritual language to sell us baby food when we're starving for a real meal. He also shares some insider perspective on the recent allegations against Michael Tait.

It's a conversation about art, faith, commerce, and what happens when you try to package the sacred for mass consumption.

James on Instagram | @James.final.mp4

Walk Me Through Jesus Movement Music '67-'79 (Part 1)

⁠Walk Me Through Jesus Movement Music '67-'79 (Part 2)

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Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/

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Faith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/

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Sarah Lane Ritchie is back for our final Shiny Happy People discussion from Season 2 of the Amazon docuseries. Sarah opens with a delightfully unhinged question about whether I've ever been exorcised (spoiler: I haven't, but Sarah casually drops that she's had "many, many" attempted exorcisms like it's no big deal). 

We then tear into episode three's heavy-handed turn toward political fearmongering that had even us progressive-leaning viewers rolling our eyes at their irresponsible psychoanalytic claims about Ron Luce and bristling at the lack of journalistic integrity while declaring existential threats to democracy. 

Behind the Patreon paywall, Sarah makes her compelling academic case for why Honor Academy functioned as a cult (it checks pretty much every box), we dive deep into my spiritual abuse research and how multiple subtypes show up in the Teen Mania system, and we wrestle with the genuinely difficult question of how much "collateral damage" might be acceptable when intense religious experiences create both profound meaning and lasting trauma for different people.

⁠⁠Watch Shiny Happy People Season 2⁠⁠

Sarah's Website | ⁠⁠⁠Sarahlaneritchie.net⁠⁠⁠

YHP Episodes on Season 1:

⁠⁠Shiny Happy People: Did Bill Gothard Create Pedophiles? (#198)⁠⁠

⁠⁠Shiny Happy People: Are Children Born Evil? (#200)⁠⁠

⁠⁠Shiny Happy People: Was Bill Gothard A Cult Leader? (#202)⁠⁠

⁠⁠Is "Shiny Happy People" Anti-Religion? (#204)⁠

___________________________________________

Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/

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Faith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/

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Top of Mind: 

I start this episode by addressing the recent report from Baptist News Global regarding former guest Dr. Laura E. Anderson, a well-known therapist and coach in the religious trauma world, detailing ethical board sanctioning and other complaints by her associates.

Main Interview (Adam joins at 6:45):

Licensed therapist and Place We Find Ourselves podcast host Adam Young joins me to explore how our childhood stories quite literally shape our brains—and why telling those stories accurately matters more than we might think.

We dig into Adam's narrative and body-focused therapeutic approach, which complements my own cognitive work by emphasizing how our neural networks wire together through early relational experiences with primary caregivers. We discuss why truth-telling orients us with reality in ways that reduce shame and self-contempt, explore the neuroscience behind why we can't simply suppress difficult emotions (spoiler: your amygdala has other plans), and examine how attachment patterns from ages 2-3 continue influencing our adult relationships through fight-flight-freeze responses. 

Adam introduces the concept of "blessing our younger selves" as distinct from the popular notion of "reparenting," drawing on Internal Family Systems theory to help us understand the different parts within us that need attention. 

Take it Offline: 

Take this conversation beyond the solo podcast experience into real community with friends and ask each other:

"Where do you find yourself most laboring under accusation?"

He explains that all of us live with self-contempt and feel accusation about various aspects of our lives throughout our days — our parenting, our relationships, our habits, our compulsions, who we are and how we show up in the world. This vulnerable but powerful question can help bring kindness into areas that are exhausting and are often suffered in silence and alone. 

Adam's Website | ⁠Adamyoungcounseling.com⁠

Adam's Book | ⁠Make Sense of Your Story: Why Engaging Your Past with Kindness Changes Everything⁠

Related Episodes:

Episode #197 - "Un-Shaming Each Part of Ourselves" with Molly LaCroixEpisode #333 - "The Science of Social Connection" with Julia Hotz

Episode #337 - "The 'Middle Path' in Politics & Purity Culture" with Dr. Camden Morgante

___________________________________________

Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/

Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKoch

Faith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/

Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankoch

Email about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: [email protected]

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In today's episode, I'm diving back into the deep end with theologian and philosopher of science Sarah Lane Ritchie for part two of our response to the Shiny Happy People docuseries, focusing on episode two's unflinching look at Teen Mania's Honor Academy.

We start by exploring one of the most psychologically complex aspects of growing up in end-times evangelical culture: the expectation that your life might be cut short—whether through martyrdom, the rapture, or other apocalyptic events. Sarah and I unpack how this shaped our teenage years differently, with her wrestling with anxiety about "making the cut" for the rapture while I was more concerned about missing out on earthly experiences before Jesus returned.

We examine how this worldview creates two distinct buckets of spiritual trauma, and I introduce what I call "the jihad test"—a thought experiment about how we'd want someone to escape coercive religious indoctrination if they were born into a jihadist group, and why those same critical thinking tools should be available to all young people in high-demand religious environments.

In the Patreon portion, we dig deeper into the militaristic aspects of Honor Academy, the psychology of high-demand religious groups, listener feedback about Bible smuggling and mission trip costs, and the complex relationship between traditional masculinity and evangelical theology.

⁠Watch Shiny Happy People Season 2⁠

Sarah's Website | ⁠⁠Sarahlaneritchie.net⁠⁠

Patreon Only Episode : ⁠Martyrdom Expectations

YHP Episodes on Season 1:

⁠Shiny Happy People: Did Bill Gothard Create Pedophiles? (#198)⁠

⁠Shiny Happy People: Are Children Born Evil? (#200)⁠

⁠Shiny Happy People: Was Bill Gothard A Cult Leader? (#202)⁠

⁠Is "Shiny Happy People" Anti-Religion? (#204)⁠

___________________________________________

Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/

Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKoch

Faith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/

Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankoch

Email about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: [email protected]

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