You Have Permission

Writer Sarah Southern joins me to share her deconstruction journey from fundamentalism to freedom. Sarah shares how her initial process was paralyzed by the infinite stakes of questioning faith, until wonder—particularly through Colorado's mountains—offered an unexpected path forward. Drawing on Abraham Heschel's wisdom about wonder as the foundation of religious experience, Sarah found that direct encounters with natural beauty provided a way to remain spiritually engaged while processing religious trauma. Rather than requiring doctrinal certainty, this approach created space for authentic exploration through direct experience of the sacred. For Patrons, our conversation continues with Sarah's travels to Salzburg and Japan, exploring how different cultural and religious traditions can expand our spiritual horizons even further.

Sarah's Instagram | sarahbsouthern

Sarah's Substack | @sarahsouthern

Sarah's Article | Embracing Violence

Highlights:

02:01 Navigating Deconstruction and Crises of Belief

05:50 The Impact of Fear and Violence in Faith

10:05 Cultural Evolution and Human Connection

15:55 Traveling Through Faith and Diversity

22:07 The Balance of Wonder and Fear in Faith

25:58 Finding Beauty in New Landscapes

Dan's New Substack | Religion on the Mind

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Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/

Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKoch

Faith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/

Edited by Josh Gilbert (joshgilbertmedia.com -- he is accepting more work!)

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We're back with another comedian episode of YHP, this time featuring Tom Fell, whose brilliant social media videos skewer corporate speak and existential themes with painful accuracy. Our conversation centers on psychedelics and consciousness, where Tom demonstrates what I'd call "materialist wonder" - particularly in his story about encountering a whale shortly after taking mushrooms. Rather than viewing it through a supernatural or New Age lens, Tom finds deeper meaning in understanding the scientific factors that make this coincidence possible. This approach, which sees wonder in natural causes rather than divine intervention, reflects the same balance found in his comedy: a critical yet playful perspective that serves as a pressure release valve for processing life's profound and absurd aspects. And yes, we laugh a lot!

Tom's Linktree | linktr.ee/tomfell

Highlights:

09:11 Truth in Comedy: The Power of Humor

29:58 Existential Themes in Comedy

42:16 Navigating Drug Culture and Personal Choices

53:18 The Intersection of Science and Spirituality

01:05:10 Spirituality Beyond Religion: Personal Revelations

Dan's New Substack | Religion on the Mind

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Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/

Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKoch

Faith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/

Edited by Josh Gilbert (joshgilbertmedia.com -- he is accepting more work!)

Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankoch

Email about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: [email protected]

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The You Have Permission team of Dan Koch, Josh Gilbert and Joy Vetterlein sit down to process the election a day later. Dan puts on his therapy hat and offers some general coping mechanisms and how to deal with the catastrophizing thoughts blue voters might have around a Trump presidency. We also discuss listener comments and questions, and talk through what we’re learning and taking away from the experience. Listen if you could use some friends to process with and find a bit of hope, but skip this one if you’re looking for detailed political analysis or if you just need to stay in your anger a little longer.

Sharon McMahon's Podcast | Here's Where It Gets Interesting

Robert Wright's Election Video | Nervous About the Election? Watch This.

The NonZero Substack | NonZero Newsletter

Dan's New Substack | Religion on the Mind

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Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/

Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKoch

Faith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/

Edited by Josh Gilbert (joshgilbertmedia.com -- he is accepting more work!)

Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankoch

Email about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: [email protected]

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Take a break from election coverage and enjoy this thoughtful conversation with Brandan Robertson, a pastor in Queens, NY, about "Christian agnosticism" and navigating faith with intellectual honesty. We explore how embracing uncertainty about religious claims can actually deepen rather than diminish faith, moving beyond the rigid certainty of our evangelical backgrounds toward a more nuanced approach. We share our experiences of finding value in Christian traditions while holding space for doubt, and discuss how this approach resonates with both religious and non-religious people alike. The conversation expands to cover selective Christianity, religious commitment, trends in progressive faith communities, and even Joel Osteen's effective use of simple religious messaging. It’s a refreshing perspective on how faith can remain relevant and authentic in an increasingly complex world!

Brandon's Website | brandanrobertson.com

Highlights:

02:43 Christian Agnosticism: Embracing Mystery and Wonder

25:51 The Limits of Human Knowledge and Religious Pragmatism

33:08 The Tension Between Deconstruction and Faith

54:11 Challenges in Building Lasting Change in Progressive Religious Movements

Dan's New Substack | Religion on the Mind

___________________________________________

Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/

Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKoch

Faith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/

Edited by Josh Gilbert (joshgilbertmedia.com -- he is accepting more work!)

Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankoch

Email about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: [email protected]

YHP Patron-only FB group: tinyurl.com/ycvbbf98

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Today I'm joined by frequent podcast collaborators Josh Gilbert and Kristen Tideman to discuss "The Iron Claw" (2023), a film that chronicles the tragic story of the Von Erich wrestling family during the territorial wrestling era of the 1980s. At its core, the film explores how patriarch Fritz Von Erich projects his unrealized wrestling ambitions onto his sons through conditional love and emotional suppression while his sons form intense bonds supporting each other through their shared pursuit of wrestling excellence. We share our personal reactions to the film's heavy themes and explore our own boundaries with difficult content. For our Patron-only segment, we dive deep into the film's haunting afterlife scene, leading to vulnerable conversations about faith, mortality, family tragedy, and questions of legacy. I even talk about crying! Like all impactful films, "The Iron Claw" opened up avenues of conversation we might not have reached otherwise, revealing how this portrait of a family trapped in cycles of ambition, loyalty, and tragedy resonates with our own experiences.

Highlights:

12:40 Personal Reflections on Film and Emotional Impact

20:05 The Intersection of Film and Personal Experience

30:12 The Movie Method: A Therapeutic Approach to Film

Movie | The Iron Claw

Episode with Jenny Hamelton | Using Movies in Therapy (#265)

Jenny's Website | jennyhamiltoncounselling.wordpress.com

The Movies Could Be Good For You Article | https://theconversation.com/watching-movies-could-be-good-for-your-mental-health-214325

Dan's New Substack | Religion on the Mind

___________________________________________

Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/

Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKoch

Faith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/

Edited by Josh Gilbert (joshgilbertmedia.com -- he is accepting more work!)

Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankoch

Email about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: [email protected]

YHP Patron-only FB group: tinyurl.com/ycvbbf98

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Join Dan Koch and Joy Vetterlein for another "After Hours" episode of You Have Permission as they dive into Netflix's hit series "Nobody Wants This." While a rom-com might seem like an unexpected choice for YHP, this show about an agnostic podcaster (Kristen Bell) falling for a progressive rabbi (Adam Brody) offers surprisingly rich material for exploring faith, doubt, and relationships. Dan and Joy unpack several fascinating themes from the first episode: the Jewish approach to wrestling with religious uncertainty, refreshingly honest relationship dynamics that buck typical rom-com tropes, the complex dynamics of religious authority and spiritual interpretation, and thoughtful discussion of how Jewish audiences are receiving the show's cultural portrayal. While lighter than our usual fare, this episode demonstrates how pop culture can open doors to deeper conversations about faith, psychology, and human connection. Let us know if you'd like to see more episodes in this casual evening format and/or more discussion of current shows and movies!

Highlights

15:05 Cultural Reflections on Judaism and Christianity

19:58 Faith, Doubt, and Spirituality in Relationships

30:12 Attachment Theory and Relationship Patterns

52:47 Cultural Stereotypes in Relationships

01:02:14 Near-Death Experiences and Life Changes

Joy's Website | joyvetterlein.com

The Attachment-Based Romance Video Dan Mentions | Why We Pick Difficult Partners

Dan's New Substack | Religion on the Mind

___________________________________________

Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/

Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKoch

Faith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/

Edited by Josh Gilbert (joshgilbertmedia.com -- he is accepting more work!)

Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankoch

Email about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: [email protected]

YHP Patron-only FB group: tinyurl.com/ycvbbf98

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Therapists Hillary McBride and Preston Hill joined me discussing their Spiritual First Responders Project and the complexities of religious trauma. We explored how religious trauma uniquely impacts one's sense of meaning and community, often occurring over extended periods and becoming deeply ingrained in a person's worldview. Hillary highlighted how religious environments can inadvertently reinforce traumatic experiences, while Preston offered theological insights on how certain concepts can create conditions for spiritual abuse. We delved into their innovative project, which provides support groups for individuals renegotiating their spiritual identities. As a fellow practitioner in this field, I'm excited about their work and its potential impact.

Highlights

12:56 Understanding Complex Religious Trauma

24:08 Moral Gaslighting and Spiritual Helplessness

30:16 Cognitive vs. Embodied Therapy

34:35 Spiritual First Responders Project Overview

43:33 Creating Healing Spaces

Spiritual First Responder's Project | sfrproject.org

Hillary's Website | hillarylmcbride.com

Hillary's New Book | Practices for Embodied Living

Preston's Website | drprestonhill.com

Dan's New Substack | Religion on the Mind

___________________________________________

Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/

Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKoch

Faith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/

Edited by Josh Gilbert (joshgilbertmedia.com -- he is accepting more work!)

Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankoch

Email about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: [email protected]

YHP Patron-only FB group: tinyurl.com/ycvbbf98

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Join Dan's email list: www.dankochwords.com/

Artwork by sprungle. co/

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Musician Jayne Sugg joins the podcast to discuss her journey through faith deconstruction and its profound impact on her creative process. Raised in a charismatic, Pentecostal church where her family led worship, Jayne's faith and music were deeply intertwined from a young age. This deconstruction process resulted in a significant creative crisis as Jayne struggled to find authentic artistic expression outside the familiar framework of worship music. Her story illustrates the deep connection between belief systems and artistic expression, and how personal crises can catalyze artistic growth. Tune in to hear how Jayne ultimately rediscovered her musical voice by exploring new genres and perspectives.

Jayne Sugg | Spotify

Jayne's Website | jaynesugg.com

Chapters:

05:21 Navigating Post-Evangelical Christian Artistry

33:27 Deconstruction in Worship Music

53:24 Nurturing Creativity in Religious Communities

01:10:30 The Impact of Disillusionment on Musical Development

01:31:05 Cultural Influences on Musical Expression

Dan's new Substack | Religion on the Mind

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Get Tickets for the PREGAME EVENT before Theology Beer Camp!

Get Tickets for Theology Beer Camp 2024

Use Code ReturnofYHP for $50 off your ticket!

___________________________________________

Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/

Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKoch

Faith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/

Edited by Josh Gilbert (joshgilbertmedia.com -- he is accepting more work!)

Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankoch

Email about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: [email protected]

YHP Patron-only FB group: tinyurl.com/ycvbbf98

Website: www.dankochwords.com/yhp.html

Join Dan's email list: www.dankochwords.com/

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In this special "after hours" episode of "You Have Permission," Dan and his old friend Lindsay share their biggest regrets from evangelical purity culture. They explore how this nonbiblical but influential sexual ethic affected both men and women during adolescence, acknowledging that women bore the brunt of its impact. Dan and Lindsay reminisce about cringeworthy memories, like bizarre sex ed object lessons and being used as "purity examples" in youth group. They discuss how purity culture shaped their limited sex education and filtered their understanding of sexuality and relationships. The conversation touches on the lasting effects of purity culture on mental health, physical well-being, and current relationships. The first half of this more personal and casual episode is available for free, with the deeper, more candid discussion reserved for Patrons.

Lindsay's Website | www.stranniganandsons.com

Lindsay on Instagram | @lindsaystrannigan

Episode #187 with Lindsay | Walk Me Through: Jesus Movement Music '67-'79 (Part 1)

Highlights

05:55 Personal Regrets and Experiences

12:08 The Impact of Purity Culture on Relationships

18:09 Sex Education and Its Gaps

23:55 Navigating Sexuality and Shame

35:50 Health Consequences of Purity Culture

Dan's new Substack | Religion on the Mind

___________________________________________

Get Tickets for the PREGAME EVENT before Theology Beer Camp!

Get Tickets for Theology Beer Camp 2024

Use Code ReturnofYHP for $50 off your ticket!

___________________________________________

Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/

Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKoch

Faith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/

Edited by Josh Gilbert (joshgilbertmedia.com -- he is accepting more work!)

Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankoch

Email about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: [email protected]

YHP Patron-only FB group: tinyurl.com/ycvbbf98

Website: www.dankochwords.com/yhp.html

Join Dan's email list: www.dankochwords.com/

Artwork by sprungle. co/

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This is a Patreon Preview | *The exclusive half starts around the 53 min mark*

In this special episode, Dan brings together his "Big Five" friends—Tripp Fuller, Myron Penner, Sarah Concepcion, and Sarah Lane Ritchie—to playfully mock and critically examine the Enneagram. Dan introduces the "Danneagram," an AI-generated personality system, sparking a lively discussion that oscillates between humorous riffs on personality typing and serious critiques. The group debates the value of such systems, even if not scientifically valid, and covers other topics like birth order, religious anthropology, and even "Lord of the Rings" characters. Join in for a thought-provoking and entertaining dive into the allure and limitations of personality assessments.

Previous Enneagram Episodes:

Ep #101 | Is the Enneagram Real?

Ep #161 | The Enneagram Doesn't Hold Up

Dan's new Substack | Religion on the Mind

___________________________________________

Get Tickets for the PREGAME EVENT before Theology Beer Camp!

Get Tickets for Theology Beer Camp 2024

Use Code ReturnofYHP for $50 off your ticket!

___________________________________________

Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/

Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKoch

Faith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/

Edited by Josh Gilbert (joshgilbertmedia.com -- he is accepting more work!)

Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankoch

Email about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: [email protected]

YHP Patron-only FB group: tinyurl.com/ycvbbf98

Website: www.dankochwords.com/yhp.html

Join Dan's email list: www.dankochwords.com/

Artwork by sprungle. co/

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