Your Parenting Long Game

Often when we ask our kids with big emotions to do things they have to do, instead of doing what we ask, they resist, negotiate, or even become disrespectful to us (or themselves!). And when we feel helpless and stuck, we often then fall back on strategies that our parents used with us… which tends to make things worse. So how can we motivate responsible and respectful behavior when our attempts seem to just lead to more drama? 

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Two reasons why rewards and punishments don’t work for kids with big emotions

• Common reasons why children struggle (and how we can identify these reasons when our kids are having a hard time)

• How to go beneath kids’ behavior to motivate more positive behaviors, moods, and attitudes with less resistance 

One of the defining qualities of children with "big emotions" is that they have a hard time when things don't go their way. But explaining to them why they need to be more flexible doesn't seem to work, and it only frustrates them and us more! The good news is that we can help our children handle frustration and disappointment when we shift from telling children WHY they need to be more flexible to teaching them HOW to be more flexible.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why we reduce our influence when we try to get children to accept that things won't always go their way
• What they truly need in order to become more adaptable
• A simple formula (with examples!) to teach them to maturely handle the fact that things will go differently than they expected -- even if they are currently resistant to talk about this

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Transcript of this episode: https://rachel-bailey.com/323-transcript/

Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey

Free training for parents with kids with big emotions: https://rachel-bailey.com/longgame/

We want our children to feel respected, and we know that it’s important to connect with them and validate their feelings. But when they’ve behaved in an unacceptable way, it’s easy to wonder if, when you’re connecting with them, you’re letting them “get away” with negative behavior. 

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why our influence does depend on being able to balance both validation and firmness

• A simple formula (with examples!) to show our kids that we sincerely care about what they’re going through without condoning negative behavior 

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Summary of this episode with examples: 

Transcript of this episode: https://rachel-bailey.com/322-transcript/

Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey

Free training for parents with kids with big emotions: https://rachel-bailey.com/longgame/

Changes and new situations – especially a new school year! – can create a lot of worry for our kids with big emotions. But no matter what the change is, or what their worries are, we can empower children to handle hard things. 

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Simple steps to help kids get ready for a new school year (or any other situation that they’re nervous about)

• How to make it less likely that they’ll worry about changes and transitions 

• How to help them feel more in control of situations that they are anxious about

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Summary of this episode: https://rachelbailey68580.activehosted.com/f/198

Transcript of this episode: https://rachel-bailey.com/321-transcript/

Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey

Free training for parents with kids with big emotions: https://rachel-bailey.com/longgame/rachel

Many children with big emotions can seem spoiled or entitled at times -- like they expect to get everything they want, all of the time. And even though it can be tempting to give in for the sake of family peace, there are better ways to help our children in these situations… so they can learn how to handle not getting their way in the future. 

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why kids with big emotions seem to always want more, more, more

• What we can ask ourselves to know if we’re giving our children what they truly need (or just want they want)

• One thing all parents can give their kids so they don’t keep asking for more

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Summary of this episode: https://rachelbailey68580.activehosted.com/f/197

Transcript of this episode: https://rachel-bailey.com/320-transcript/

Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey

Free training for parents with kids with big emotions: https://rachel-bailey.com/longgame/rachel

Despite the fact that they experience emotions very intensely, it’s very common for children who feel strongly to NOT want to talk about their emotions. But in order to address negative behavior, moods, and attitudes, we need to have these conversations!

The good news is that using specific phrases will allow us to improve our influence with our children so they are open to hearing us, rather than trying to avoid us. 

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• The real reasons why our children tend to avoid talking about their emotions

• How to start conversations with our kids (without triggering their resistance)

• How we can help our kids handle their discomfort more effectively and maturely 

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Summary of this episode: https://rachelbailey68580.activehosted.com/f/196

Transcript of this episode: https://rachel-bailey.com/319-transcript/

Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey

Free training for parents with kids with big emotions: https://rachel-bailey.com/longgame/rachel

We ask our children to do things all the time, and (of course) we assume that they know how to do what we ask. Why wouldn’t they? In reality, a lot of negative behavior stems from skills that children are missing – which means they actually don’t know how to do what we ask. In order to improve our influence and their resilience, all we need to do is teach them a few strategies for success. 

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What actually stops children from doing what we want them to do 

• How one simple shift can decrease our frustration and our exhaustion

• What it’s like to be a child who wants to do better… but can’t 

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Summary of this episode: https://rachelbailey68580.activehosted.com/f/195

Transcript of this episode: https://rachel-bailey.com/318-transcript/

Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey

Free training for parents with kids with big emotions: https://rachel-bailey.com/longgame/rachel

It can be exhausting to parent children with big emotions -- especially when it feels like our efforts to improve behavior, moods, and attitudes take longer than we would like. Even if we understand (in our minds) that it takes time for our kids to learn how to deal with their discomfort and develop new skills, that doesn’t always make us stop wishing they would feel and act better more quickly! 

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why wanting things to go more quickly actually slows things down 

• One question we can ask ourselves to change our perspective and our attitude (so progress does happen faster) 

• The key to less frustration if children do take time to change 

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Summary of this episode: https://rachelbailey68580.activehosted.com/f/194

Transcript of this episode: https://rachel-bailey.com/317-transcript/

Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey

Free training for parents with kids with big emotions: https://rachel-bailey.com/longgame/rachel

One of the most common reasons for big emotions in our homes is related to asking our children to get off of their devices. And let's be real: They DO have to learn to get off of their devices without acting like it's the end of the world! But most of the time, we attempt to make this happen makes things worse, not better. When we get into our children’s world, we can often understand why our attempts aren’t effective – and what we can do instead. 

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What it’s like from a child’s perspective to have to get off of screens

• Why his parents’ (very logical) attempts to address his behavior don’t work 

• How getting into your child’s shoes can help bring peace to your home 

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Transcript of this episode: https://rachel-bailey.com/316-transcript/

Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey

Free training for parents with kids with big emotions: https://rachel-bailey.com/longgame/rachel

This time of year, navigating the use of screens can be a real challenge -- especially when you’re raising children with big emotions. The summer can start off feeling more relaxed, but then come the power struggles over how long children can be on screens and the meltdowns when they have to get off of their devices. Fortunately, a few simple changes can reduce the drama, even during those times when children are even more likely to turn to screens as entertainment. 

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why kids with big emotions struggle with screen time limits

• How to increase your influence to reduce screen time drama 

• How to give your kids the skills THEY need to get off of screens more easily (helping them deal with transitions and boredom!)

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FREE 1:1 CONVERSATION: Want to talk to Rachel about what's causing YOUR screen time drama?  Send an email to [email protected] with the word "Screens" in the subject line! 

Free summary of this episode: https://rachelbailey68580.activehosted.com/f/193

Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey

Free training for parents with kids with big emotions: https://rachel-bailey.com/longgame/rachel