Cathy and Todd kick-off boundaries month by discussing internal boundaries and the clinical understanding of family enmeshment. They discuss how we take on other people’s emotions, why it’s hard for us to be happy if the ones we love aren’t happy, and how to take care of ourselves while we take care of others.

We talk with our daughter Jacey who identifies as gay, her friend Grace who identifies as bi-sexual, and her friend Edgar who identifies as gay. They share their coming out stories, family reactions, and experiences that have been helpful and harmful. They discuss how to be an ally and advocate for the LGBTQ+ community and how to support your kids when it comes to embracing and understanding sexuality.

Todd and Cathy discuss Creativity and Balance, Part 3 of Empathy Volume Month. They discuss ideas and tools to take care of ourselves during uncertain times, and how to bring balance to our self-care and relationships.

Todd and Cathy continue their discussion about empathy volume and focus on how to turn down empathy to avoid burnout. They discuss the 3 types of empathy and how we can remain empathetic without exhausting ourselves. They also discuss Adam Grant’s new book Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don’t Know and how our ability to be “cognitively agile” keeps us curious and connected to the ones we love.

Todd+Cathy discuss mindful caring as a kick off to their “Empathy Volume” month (how to turn it up and stay connected, how to turn it down to avoid burnout). They share three ways to make empathy a priority, and how having clear intention about what means the most impacts how you show up. They also discuss Dr. Robert Livingston’s new book about racism and bias called The Conversation, and how two-hit wonders are a real thing.

Cathy and Todd discuss the “messages and arrows” of our emotions, specifically that they give us the information we need to understand ourselves and teach our kids. Every feeling has an underlying reason, and the more we understand our emotional messages the easier we will see the arrows that point to what matters most. They share that February is “Empathy Volume” Month (Turning empathy up to stay connected, turning empathy down to avoid burnout). Listen to this month’s Zen Parenting Radio podcasts and join Team Zen for an in-depth discussion around empathy volume filled with resources, practices, and community (use coupon code Team Zen for one free month).

Cathy and Todd discuss how accountability leads to unity, and how impunity or justifying something deeply harmful leads to more divisiveness, not healing. They discuss how this is true with our government and the insurrection, and also when we have challenges in our partnerships, parenting, and friendships. Forgiveness is what we do for ourselves, not others, and comes after a process and practice of realizing that we can’t change what happened (it often takes a great deal of time). Forgiveness does not mean reconciliation, condoning a person’s behavior, justifying the offense, or denying or forgetting the impact on our lives. It means cutting the cord and taking back the energy that is rightfully ours while never forgetting the wisdom we gained.

Todd and Cathy continue their discussion about how and why we grow and share specific colors that represent our stages of development (often referred to as spiral dynamics). They discuss how this effects politics, values, “fake news”, sports, leadership, and our need to belong.

Cathy and Todd discuss the question that they hear the most – “How can I get my partner to….” – they discuss why this question is multi-layered, messy, and not easily answered. They discuss why wanting to change others feels easier than changing ourselves, why true wisdom comes from quiet, and the life-changing advice Oprah has for all people.

Cathy and Todd focus on Me, We, and Everybody, a teaching of moral development (or Spiral Dynamics) taken from The Robcast. They share why this personal growth model (similar to understanding the chakras or the Enneagram) helps us see ourselves, relate to others, and understand how we all evolve (and regress) in different ways.