There’s a lot of black and white thinking when it comes to the way we regard infidelity as a society. You’re either cheating or you’re not; you’re either right or you’re wrong; you’re either good or you’re bad.

In Suzannah Weiss’s case, however, she was largely operating in the gray. As a sex and relationship writer, Suzannah went through her own experience of cheating, for lack of a better word, on her boyfriend of three years. After getting a better idea of what she does and doesn’t want from a partnership, they parted ways amicably—but it took some time, tension, and self-reflection to get there.

Join Dr. Marie Murphy as she sits down with sex and relationship writer Suzannah Weiss in this episode of Your Secret is Safe with Me. Together, they talk about Suzannah’s personal experience with infidelity, the different kinds of intimacy a relationship can—and sometimes can’t—have, and why she never told her ex that she was cheating. Keep listening!