Have you ever felt responsible for your partner’s feelings? When they’re reacting to something you’ve done, it can be hard not to feel like it’s your job to make them feel better. But, guess what: someone else’s emotions are not under your control—nor should they be.

According to Dr. Marie Murphy, taking responsibility for your feelings, and your feelings alone, is an essential step in building a healthy relationship—or dealing with the aftermath of an affair. As she says, there is only one path to freedom, and it involves taking ownership of your individual emotions, behavior, and business.

In this episode of Your Secret is Safe with Me, Dr. Marie Murphy sits down with John Corcoran of Rise25 to talk about the reality of infidelity. Together, they discuss the different emotions you may feel as a result of being cheated on, what to let go of in pursuit of a healthier relationship, and why your partner’s feelings aren’t your responsibility—but being considerate is. Keep listening.