Tom Henschel: The Look & Sound of Leadership

Is someone you care about - or maybe even you - working for a jerk? My guest Tom Henschel from the Look & Sound of Leadership podcast helps us to navigate this difficult situation.

How to know if it’s just you

Test the waters, but be careful

How to address it

When you decide to talk, leave the emotion out of it

Frame the business concern, not you as the victim

Don’t take it personally

Don’t speak for others

You are not going to change your boss

It’s not your place to get coaching for your boss

Nothing you will do will likely change your boss’s behavior

If you can accept that, what do you want to do?

If it’s really a business issue, give the feedback

Avoid being attached to the outcome

Once the feedback is given, let it go

Rehearse the feedback with someone trusted before you give it

What to do when the boss is chaotic

Calm down with someone who is chaotic

Take tons of notes

Get clear agreements

When they change something, don’t take it personally

Consider sending a note afterwards to summarize what is said

How to deal with the narcissist

Be a good audience and ask how you can help them to succeed

“Narcissists crave attention and there’s not enough room in the spotlight for both of you.” -Tom Henschel

“With narcissists, in order to succeed with them, you need to not compete with them.” -Tom Henschel

Have support outside of work too, since you won’t get it from your boss

When you can do it honestly, throw them a bone

Always approach situations with collaboration and support

What do you do with the screamer?

Don’t engage, wait it out

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.