Anger Secrets

179 - Why Anger Management Doesn't Work - And What To Do Instead


Listen Later

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs walks through seven of the most common anger management mistakes that keep people stuck, even when they're genuinely trying to change. Whether you've read all the books, tried breathing exercises or sat through a course or two, this episode explains why the effort often doesn't stick and what to do differently starting today.

Rather than offering surface-level fixes, Alastair goes deeper - looking at the root causes of why anger keeps coming back and giving you practical, honest tools to finally break the pattern. And the good news is that recognising these mistakes is often all it takes to start seeing real change.

Key Takeaways:

  • Most anger management treats the symptoms, not the root cause. Until you address what you're thinking, not what's happening, you'll keep fighting the same battle.
  • Suppressing anger doesn't make it disappear. It builds. Learning to catch it early and deescalate is far more effective than pushing it down.
  • When you blame others for your anger, you hand them all the power. Taking responsibility for your own responses is one of the most liberating shifts you can make.
  • Anger doesn't arrive out of nowhere. Your body gives you signals before things escalate. Learning to notice them gives you a window to make a different choice.
  • Negative self-talk pours fuel on the fire. Shifting from "I can't handle this" to "This is hard, but I've handled hard things before" can be the difference between escalating and staying in control.
  • Rigid expectations about people or about life create a relentless sense that everyone is letting you down. Loosening that grip creates more peace than most people expect.
  • Trying to change deep-seated patterns alone is genuinely difficult. The right support makes change happen far faster than most people ever expect.

Resources & Next Steps:

If you'd like support working through any of these patterns and building calmer, more loving relationships:

  • Visit angersecrets.com
  • Book a free 30-minute phone call
  • Access the free training on "Breaking The Anger Cycle"

...more
View all episodesView all episodes
Download on the App Store

Anger SecretsBy Alastair Duhs

  • 4.5
  • 4.5
  • 4.5
  • 4.5
  • 4.5

4.5

33 ratings


More shows like Anger Secrets

View all
The One You Feed | Personal Growth, Emotional Resilience & Purpose by Eric Zimmer

The One You Feed | Personal Growth, Emotional Resilience & Purpose

2,553 Listeners

The Mindset Mentor by Rob Dial

The Mindset Mentor

13,600 Listeners

Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson by Rick Hanson, Ph.D., Forrest Hanson

Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

2,528 Listeners

Calm Parenting Podcast by Kirk Martin

Calm Parenting Podcast

1,473 Listeners

The Mark Groves Podcast by Mark Groves

The Mark Groves Podcast

4,722 Listeners

The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett by DOAC

The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett

8,876 Listeners

Feel Better, Live More with Dr Rangan Chatterjee by Dr Rangan Chatterjee: GP & Author

Feel Better, Live More with Dr Rangan Chatterjee

3,903 Listeners

On Purpose with Jay Shetty by iHeartPodcasts

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

27,584 Listeners

Trauma Rewired by Elisabeth Kristof & Jennifer Wallace

Trauma Rewired

365 Listeners

Huberman Lab by Scicomm Media

Huberman Lab

29,272 Listeners

Good Inside with Dr. Becky by Good Inside

Good Inside with Dr. Becky

4,524 Listeners

The Covert Narcissism Podcast by Renee Swanson, Bleav

The Covert Narcissism Podcast

47 Listeners

The Mel Robbins Podcast by Mel Robbins

The Mel Robbins Podcast

20,222 Listeners

The Secure Love Podcast with Julie Menanno by Julie Menanno

The Secure Love Podcast with Julie Menanno

355 Listeners

Anger Management by Alastair Duhs

Anger Management

24 Listeners