For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Is anger always a bad thing? Or are there times when feeling angry actually makes sense?

In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs explains why anger itself isn’t the problem. The real damage happens when anger is either suppressed or expressed in ways that hurt relationships.

You’ll learn what healthy anger really looks like, how it differs from destructive anger and how to express anger in a way that protects trust, communication and emotional safety.

What you’ll learn in this episode

1. Why anger is a normal and necessary human emotion
2. The difference between healthy, assertive anger and destructive anger
3. How unhealthy anger damages trust and connection over time
4. Real-life examples of responding to anger at work and in relationships
5. Practical ways to express anger calmly, clearly, and respectfully

Key principles of healthy anger:

1. Healthy anger is expressed, not suppressed
2. It is assertive, not aggressive
3. It focuses on solutions rather than blame
4. It respects both your needs and the needs of others

Practical tips covered:

1. Pause before reacting and reflect on what’s really going on
2. Use “I” statements instead of blame or accusation
3. Focus on problem-solving rather than winning
4. Set clear, respectful boundaries
5. Practice forgiveness to avoid carrying resentment

Want help applying this?

If you’d like support learning how to express anger in healthier ways:

1. Watch the free training on breaking the anger cycle
2. Book a free 30-minute Anger Assessment Call
3. Learn more about The Complete Anger Management System

Visit angersecrets.com to get started.

Anger doesn’t need to be eliminated. It needs to be understood and used wisely.

And remember:

You can’t control other people, but you can control yourself.

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Why is it that one small comment can turn into a full-blown argument in some relationships, while in others, it barely causes a ripple?

In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs explains why relationships don’t usually break down because of the big arguments. They unravel through hundreds of small moments that slowly erode trust, safety and goodwill.

You’ll learn a powerful concept that explains why the same words can feel harmless one day and deeply triggering the next, and how small, practical shifts can dramatically change the emotional climate of your relationship.

What you’ll learn in this episode:

1. Why small moments often matter more than big arguments
2. The difference between positive and negative sentiment override
3. How stress, resentment and anger quietly change how partners interpret each other
4. Why neutral comments can start to feel critical or attacking
5. Three simple shifts that help keep relationships emotionally safe and resilient

Three practical shifts discussed:

1. Let your partner influence you — resentment grows when one person feels unheard
2. Increase expressions of appreciation — positive interactions must be intentional
3. Turn towards each other — small responses build emotional safety over time

Want help applying this?

If you’re noticing your relationship feels tense, reactive or fragile, support is available:

1. Watch the free training on breaking the anger cycle
2. Book a free 30-minute Anger Assessment Call
3. Learn more about The Complete Anger Management System

Visit angersecrets.com to get started.

Relationships aren’t usually damaged in one big moment. They change direction through small choices made every day.

And remember:

You can’t control other people, but you can control yourself.

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

What do you do when the person you love no longer wants to be with you, and anger, fear or past behaviour has broken trust?

In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs speaks directly to those facing one of the hardest moments in a relationship: separation caused by anger issues. With honesty and realism, he explains why rebuilding trust takes time, and outlines a clear, step-by-step path forward for those who are genuinely committed to change.

This isn’t about quick fixes or saying the right words. It’s about doing the work that actually matters.

What you’ll learn in this episode

1. Why rebuilding a relationship after separation is possible, but cannot be rushed
2. The first thing you must address before any reconciliation can happen
3. Why taking full responsibility for the impact of your anger is essential
4. When (and when not) to re-establish contact with your partner
5. How to show real, lasting change in ways your partner can trust
6. What it takes to build a healthier relationship together moving forward

The five steps covered in the episode:

1. Deal with your anger, abuse, or violence issues
2. Accept responsibility for the impact your behaviour has had
3. Re-establish contact only when appropriate
4. Show consistent evidence of real change
5. Work on creating a different relationship together

Need support with this?

If you want help managing your anger or guidance on rebuilding your relationship:

1. Watch the free training on breaking the anger cycle
2. Book a free 30-minute Anger Assessment Call
3. Learn more about The Complete Anger Management System

All options are available at angersecrets.com.

Rebuilding a relationship after separation isn’t easy — but with commitment, patience and the right support, it can be done.

And remember:

You can’t control other people, but you can control yourself.

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Have you ever gone to bed replaying an argument over and over in your mind, wishing you’d said things differently, wishing you’d stayed calmer or wishing the damage hadn’t been done?

If so, you’re not alone. And more importantly, it doesn’t mean you’re a bad partner or a bad person. It means something inside you is trying to tell you something, and learning how to listen to that signal can change everything.

In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, host Alastair Duhs shares four practical, grounded strategies to help you handle anger in your relationship before it causes regret, distance or lasting damage. Rather than suppressing anger or blaming yourself, you’ll learn how to understand what’s really driving it, and how to respond in a calmer, more constructive way.

Anger isn’t the real problem. Losing control of it is. And that’s something you can learn to change.

What you’ll learn in this episode

1. Why understanding your anger triggers is the first step to lasting change
2. How poor communication quietly fuels resentment and emotional explosions
3. The powerful link between stress and anger, and how to break it
4. A simple mindset shift that helps couples stop fighting each other and start working together
5. Why anger is a signal, not a flaw — and how to respond to it differently

Why this matters

Unmanaged anger doesn’t just disappear on its own. Over time, it erodes trust, creates emotional distance and can turn even small disagreements into painful conflicts.

The good news? When you understand what triggers your anger, learn how to communicate openly, manage stress and remember that you and your partner are on the same team, arguments lose their intensity and connection becomes possible again.

These aren’t complicated techniques. They’re practical skills you can start using immediately.

Key ideas from the episode

1. Anger often comes from feeling unheard, disrespected, or overwhelmed — not from the situation itself
2. Regular, safe conversations (like a Weekly Relationship Check-In) prevent resentment from building
3. High stress lowers your ability to stay calm — managing stress is essential to controlling anger
4. When couples stop trying to “win” arguments and start seeking understanding, everything changes

Ready to take the next step?

If you want help applying these ideas to your own relationship, you have a few options:

-Watch the free training on how to break the anger cycle

-Book a free 30-minute Anger Assessment Call to talk through your situation

-Learn more about The Complete Anger Management System

You’ll find all of these at angersecrets.com.

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

You're in the middle of an argument and you know where it's headed. But what if you could change the outcome before things spiral out of control?

In this essential episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs reveals how to recognise the signs of escalating conflict and use simple, proven repair techniques to stop fights before they start and strengthen your relationship instead.

Key Takeaways:

-Every argument offers a choice: escalate the fight or repair the connection.

-The first step to de-escalating conflict is recognising your own signs of rising anger.

-Reminding yourself that the relationship matters more than “being right” helps calm tension.

-Repair attempts, like a kind tone, humor, a break or physical affection can powerfully shift the dynamic.

-Noticing and accepting your partner’s repair attempts builds trust and prevents emotional damage.

Links referenced in this episode:

angersecrets.com — Learn more about anger management

angersecrets.com/training — Watch the free training: Breaking The Anger Cycle

angersecrets.com/course — Enroll in The Complete Anger Management System

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

It’s often not the big things that make you angry. It’s the small stuff that hijacks your day.

In this thoughtful episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs explores why seemingly minor annoyances can trigger such big reactions, and how learning to let go of them can radically improve your relationships, your mood and your life.

Key Takeaways:

-Small events like a comment or forgotten chore often trigger anger because of deeper emotional patterns.

-Reacting in the heat of the moment usually leads to regret. Pausing first gives you power.

-Asking, “Will this matter in a week or a year?” helps you gain perspective and avoid overreacting.

-Practicing gratitude can rewire your brain to focus on what really matters, not petty irritations.

-Recognising life’s fragility can shift your focus from frustration to compassion and connection.

Links referenced in this episode:

angersecrets.com — Learn more about anger management

angersecrets.com/training — Watch the free training: Breaking The Anger Cycle

angersecrets.com/course — Enroll in The Complete Anger Management System

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Most relationships don’t fall apart in one explosive moment. They unravel quietly through patterns we barely notice.

In this eye-opening episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs reveals the four hidden killers that silently destroy relationships from the inside out. If your connection with your partner feels colder, more distant or just off, this episode might explain why, and what you can do about it.

Key Takeaways:

-Criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling are four of the most destructive behaviors in relationships.

-These patterns often feel normal, but over time they erode trust, love and emotional safety.

-Each “killer” has an antidote, like appreciation, responsibility or effective communication that can rebuild connection.

-Anger often fuels these behaviors, making anger management a crucial step toward healthier relationships.

-By learning to recognise and replace these patterns, you can stop the slow drift apart and bring warmth and closeness back into your relationship.

Links referenced in this episode:

angersecrets.com — Learn more about anger management

angersecrets.com/training — Watch the free training: Breaking The Anger Cycle

angersecrets.com/course — Enroll in The Complete Anger Management System

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Ever feel like you and your partner are speaking different languages, even when you're in the same room? In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs reveals why active listening is the missing link in most relationships, and how mastering it can bring you closer than ever before.

If you’re tired of arguments that go nowhere, this episode offers a better way forward.

Key Takeaways:

-Active listening means being fully present, not planning your reply while your partner is still talking.

-It’s not about winning the conversation; it’s about making your partner feel truly heard and understood.

-Four core skills: Minimal encouragers, open-ended questions, reflecting and positive feedback can transform the way you communicate.

-Simple changes in how you listen can open up emotional connection and reduce defensiveness.

-Practicing these skills builds trust, de-escalates conflict and strengthens your relationship at its core.

Links referenced in this episode:

angersecrets.com — Learn more about anger management

angersecrets.com/training — Watch the free training: Breaking The Anger Cycle

angersecrets.com/course — Enroll in The Complete Anger Management System

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

After an anger outburst, the silence can feel unbearable. In this heartfelt episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs reveals the one essential ingredient most people overlook when trying to change: a powerful personal “why.”

Through real stories from men and women just like you, this episode will help you uncover the deeper reason you want to control your anger, and help you finally break free from the cycle for good.

Key Takeaways:

-Change only lasts when it’s driven by a deeper purpose, not just guilt or willpower.

-Real-life stories show that many people want to control their anger for their families, their children, or their sense of self-respect.

-Identifying your personal “why” gives you strength in tough moments and keeps you committed to growth.

-Anger can destroy relationships. But with a clear reason to change, you can rebuild connection and trust.

-Your “why” must be stronger than your anger to truly transform your life.

Links referenced in this episode:

angersecrets.com — Learn more about anger management

angersecrets.com/training — Breaking The Anger Cycle

angersecrets.com/course — Enroll in The Complete Anger Management System

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Have you ever found yourself in an argument before you even realise what triggered it? In this powerful episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs explores how defensiveness quietly damages relationships, and how you can stop it.

Learn why your instinct to defend yourself often masks deeper fears, and how choosing connection over combat can transform your relationship.

Key Takeaways:

-Defensiveness often stems from the fear that we're to blame, even when we don’t want to admit it.

-The key to change is awareness: notice your emotional triggers before reacting.

-Taking even partial responsibility can immediately diffuse tension and build trust.

-Empathy transforms conflict: put yourself in your partner’s shoes to respond with care, not combat.

-Honest, calm communication breaks the cycle of blame and opens the door to healing.

-Change won’t happen overnight, but with intention and practice, defensiveness can be replaced by understanding.

Links referenced in this episode:

angersecrets.com — Learn more about anger management

angersecrets.com/training — Watch the free training: Breaking The Anger Cycle

angersecrets.com/course — Enroll in The Complete Anger Management System