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Can changing how men relate to one another reduce gender-based violence?

In this powerful international conversation, Boysen sits down with South African researchers Nicola Lazenby and Thaakirah Dollie, who conducted an in-depth qualitative study exploring how men’s relationships with other men influence their understanding of masculinity and mental health.

Set against the backdrop of South Africa’s gender-based violence crisis—where femicide rates are among the highest in the world—their research examines two distinct patterns of male bonding:

🔹 Hierarchical Homosociality

• Competition and dominance
• Emotional suppression
• Avoidance of vulnerability
• Aggression and status-seeking

This pattern reinforces rigid masculinity and is linked to diminished mental health and relational harm.

🔹 Horizontal Homosociality

• Collaboration and mutual accountability
• Emotional intimacy and safety
• Shared agreements and trust
• Authentic vulnerability

This model—found in structured men’s groups like those in the ManKind Project—was associated with increased well-being, deeper connection, and healthier expressions of masculinity.

The conversation also explores:

• Early socialization of boys through fathers and peer groups
• The systemic legacy of violence in South Africa
• Why compassion and accountability must coexist
• Fatherhood as a turning point for many men
• What it means to create healing cultural change

This episode is both sobering and hopeful. It reminds us that while masculinity is socially constructed, it is not fixed. And that how men gather matters.

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