Bonni is the host of the Teaching in Higher Ed podcast, Dean of Teaching and Learning and Professor of Business and Management at Vanguard University, and my life partner. Prior to her academic career, she was a human resources consultant and executive officer for a publicly traded company. Bonni is the author of The Productive Online and Offline Professor: A Practical Guide*.

Last week I got a phone call offering me a great position. I was not looking for a job, and I had no intentions of leaving anytime soon. But after reading the job description, it really seems like a job I would love.

After speaking with them, I learned the position would offer much better pay, benefits, retirement, a year-end bonus, and it’s also offering to pay to send me back to college to further my education.

Taking into account just what I would gain career-wise, it’s a no-brainer. But when I think of the organization I’m leaving behind and what it stands to lose, my heart breaks. I don’t want to disappoint all the people I’ve worked with by leaving so soon. I don’t want people to feel I’m abandoning the mission or my values. That said, I am under no obligation to stay.

My question to you is this: How can I communicate my reasons for leaving without them viewing me as a sell out? Is it wrong that I feel so much guilt for leaving? In a way, I don’t think I should have to disclose my reasons, because it’s very personal, but on the other hand I wouldn’t have this new opportunity without my time there. Any advice or guidance would be so appreciated.

I have been leading a small nonprofit for about 18 months in my first executive role. One of the (many) areas in which I need to improve is in making time for coaching my core staff, rather than having conversations consistently around ongoing tasks, deadlines, etc. I would like to make time (weekly, monthly, quarterly?) where I sit down with them one on one for a set period of time and we talk about how they want to improve, why, and make a plan together for doing so. Can you recommend some resources where I can get advice on establishing a coaching routine and culture, setting expectations to make it fruitful, how often to set the meetings, etc.?

I’m a director-level product manager (software) at a large diversified industrial company and I’ve recently been given an amazing opportunity to build a new vertical business unit with a small team of great folks from across the business. My mentor (and someone who probably had a lot to do with my new opportunity) is a very senior exec and I just found out that he and I are going to meet consultants next week which means I’m going to have a lot of 1:1 time with him. I adore and deeply respect this guy – he’s one of those rare leaders who is scary-smart, has accomplished really big things but is also a genuinely nice person. Getting informal time with him is a huge opportunity for me to learn more about the market, the company, and leadership in general. I would love nothing more than to sit there with a notepad and interrogate him, but that’s probably not a great idea!

Can you offer any advice on good ways to utilize conversations with 2- and 3-level-up executives? I don’t want to annoy him, and I don’t want to ask questions whose answers he isn’t in a position to share, but I feel like it would be ludicrous to waste the opportunity on casual conversation.

I am a department manager for Walmart and going to school for business. Would retail be good on a resume? I have a lot of fun and the experience is very challenging.

I have most troubles with the elderly and plan on reading the millennial manager book from you podcast.

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