November 10, 2025

263 — How 15 Minutes of Solitude Can Change Your Life with Professor Robert Coplan

44 minutes

Do you ever feel guilty for wanting time to yourself? Or do you struggle to be truly alone with your thoughts without the distractions of your phone?

If you feel pressure to be productive or you get uncomfortable when you're alone, this episode is for you. I'm talking to Dr. Robert Coplan, a developmental psychologist, college professor, leading researcher on solitude, and author of the new book The Joy of Solitude.

Some of the things we discuss are:

The true definition of solitude

Why alone time is actually the opposite of loneliness—and it's essential for your well-being

How the “deactivation effect” of solitude helps regulate your emotions and restore your energy

The science behind how being alone can spark creativity and even make your relationships stronger

The simple tech guidelines for solitude that can help you get the most out of your time alone

What the famous 15-minute electric shock study really tells us about being alone

How to build your “solitude muscles” with micro-moments of intentional alone time

What to say when you need to set boundaries and request alone time without offending others

How to embrace the Joy of Missing Out (JOMO) instead of the Fear of Missing Out (FOMO)

Why it’s crucial to start building solitude skills in kids and how the benefits change with age

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Links & Resources

RobertCoplan.com

The Joy of Solitude

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By Amy Morin

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