Mentally Stronger with Therapist Amy Morin

Mentally Stronger with Therapist Amy Morin

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Mentally Stronger with Therapist Amy Morin episodes

  • 357 — Short on Time? These 30-Second Habits Are as Effective as Meditating for 30 Minutes With Dr. Eli Susman

    Have you ever downloaded a meditation app you swore you were going to use? Or bought a journal that's still sitting on your nightstand? Or promised yourself that starting Monday, you'd finally do that 20-minute morning routine that was going to change everything — only to abandon it a week later?

    Most of us have some version of that story. And we usually decide it means we lack self-discipline, that we're not the kind of person who follows through, that we just can't stick with anything.

    But my guest today says time is the real problem. Dr. Eli Susman, a psychologist and former Harvard researcher who coined the term micropractice — well-being practices that take 30 seconds or less.

    Some of the things we discuss are:

    • The three-breath meditation retreat moment that launched Eli's research into micro practices
    • The 20-second self-compassionate touch exercise that produced results comparable to much more time-intensive interventions
    • Why consistency matters more than duration wellness habits
    • The micropractice that lowers mortality risk by 44–54%
    • How to boost your productivity by 15% in under 30 seconds
    • How to develop a cue that reminds you to engage in your habit
    • The four types of micro practices
    • The Therapist's Take: My top three strategies for building wellness habits that actually stick
    • Related Episodes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

      • 260 —⁠ Temptation Bundling: The Science-Backed Trick to Make Habits Stick
      • ⁠⁠232 — 5 Daily Habits To Build Unstoppable Mental Strength
      • Links & Resources

        ⁠⁠⁠⁠Micropractice


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        45 min
      • 356 — 5 Ways to Stay Mentally Strong at Work When Your Personal Life Is Falling Apart

        Have you ever had to walk into work and act like everything was fine while your whole life was falling apart? Maybe you're going through a divorce, fielding calls about an aging parent between meetings, or you received a scary diagnosis the day before a big presentation.

        Quitting usually isn't an option, and "just leave it at the door" isn't much help either. Today I'm sharing five of the biggest struggles people face when they have to keep showing up during a personal crisis, and the mental strength play that helps with each one.

        Some of the things I talk about are:

        • How I got myself back to work, and in front of clients, after my husband died.
        • The difference between compartmentalizing and suppressing, and why one helps while the other catches up with you later.
        • Why telling yourself "don't think about it" makes intrusive thoughts worse, and the simple scheduling trick that quiets them.
        • How to handle kind coworkers who keep asking how you're doing (often the hardest part of the day).
        • What to consider before telling your boss what's going on.
        • Why work can suddenly feel meaningless, and how the 10-minute rule gets you moving anyway.
        • The "smile file" I kept in my filing cabinet, and how to build one on your phone before you need it.
        • The one question to ask on your drive home when it feels like you've lost all control.
        • Why these plays get you through a workday but not through the crisis itself, and what that bigger job requires.
        • Related Episodes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

          • 248 — The 3 Words That Will Make You Mentally Stronger
          • ⁠⁠⁠⁠278 — The 3 Mindset Shifts You Will Help You Grow Mentally Stronger This Year
          • Links & Resources

            Buy a copy of⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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            22 min
          • 355 — Why Even Mentally Strong People Sometimes Cheat, Lie and Break Their Own Rules with Dr. Glenn Hutchinson

            Have you ever done something that went against everything you believe about yourself? Maybe you think of yourself as an honest person, but you round up hours on your timesheet. Or maybe you say family is the most important thing in your life, but you spend the entire weekend working. Or maybe it's something bigger — something you still can't fully explain, even though it happened years ago.

            Most of us assume that when we act against our values, it's because we're weak. But there's evidence that shows even mentally strong people might sometimes lie, cheat or break their own rules.

            My guest is Dr. Glenn Hutchinson, a psychologist who has spent years studying why people's behavior isn't always in line with their values.

            Some of the things we discuss are:

            • Why the explanations we come up with for our own behavior are often completely wrong (and the famous 1977 study that proved it)
            • Why we judge other people more harshly than we judge ourselves for the exact same behavior
            • Why willpower fails almost everyone eventually
            • What the new GLP-1 medications reveal about how unconscious urges actually work
            • Why happily married people can still be unfaithful and the ancient brain systems that operate independently of our values
            • The dangerous "I've already blown it" thinking that turns one small slip into a full-blown spiral
            • The story of the man who left an inpatient facility convinced he was a narcissist when he wasn't even close
            • The chilling examples of how our conscious mind fails us
            • Why insight and behavior change are two completely different things
            • The two questions to ask about any bad habit
            • The Therapist's Take: My top three strategies for getting your behavior in line with your values
            • Related Episodes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

              • 132 — Understand Your Habits by Uncovering the Emotional Thread That Drives Your Behavior
              • ⁠49 — 7 Boundary Mistakes That Damage Relationships
              • Links & Resources

                ⁠⁠⁠Unfaithful Minds


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                48 min
              • 354 — How to Stop a Negative Thought Spiral in 2 Minutes (Backed by Science)

                Pick up a copy of The Mental Strength Playbook.

                Maybe you replay a conversation that already happened, second-guess a decision you already made, or keep going back over what you should've done differently. A negative thought spiral is hard to break and the more you try to suppress a thought, the more it will keep popping back up.

                So today I'm sharing one of my favorite mental strength plays to literally get unhelpful thoughts out of your head. I'll walk you through the play, the surprising study on why it works, and exactly how to do it right.

                Some of the things I talk about are:

                • Why you usually can't think your way out of a negative loop (the thing keeping it going is the thinking itself).
                • The study that shows how to change which thoughts you believe.
                • The one version of this that doesn't work at all, no matter how hard you try it.
                • How to run the play, step by step.
                • Why you have to write the ugly, honest version of the thought.
                • The mistakes that make this play backfire.
                • Why this isn't for every negative thought—and how to know when it's the wrong play and you need a different one.
                • Related Episodes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

                  • 284 — Overthinking? Here’s the 3-Word Fix You Need to Stop the Spiral
                  • ⁠328 — The Best Way to Solve a Problem When You Feel Hopeless: Brainstorm the Worst Ideas First
                  • Links & Resources

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                    21 min
                  • 353 — The Hidden Childhood Wound Behind the Relationships You Keep Ending Up In with Trauma Therapist Dr. Gillian O'Shea Brown

                    Have you ever wondered why you attract the same type of person over and over or wondered why you keep ending up in the same situation? You might tell yourself you never want to change but end up right back in a similar situation again.

                    My guest today says there's a reason for that. Every one of us has what she calls a psychological Achilles heel — a tender spot formed early in life around a belief like I'm not lovable or I'm not good enough — and it lies dormant until something or someone presses on it. And we're often unconsciously drawn to the people who press on it, because part of us is trying to go back and finally get it right.

                    My guest is Dr. Gillian O'Shea Brown, a psychotherapist and complex trauma specialist who authored the textbook Healing Complex PTSD, used at NYU graduate schools.

                    Some of the things we discuss are:

                    • What a psychological Achilles heel is and why it lies dormant until the wrong person or situation presses on it
                    • Why we unconsciously seek out the people who reopen our oldest wounds
                    • Why your brain will pick familiar chaos over unpredictable peace and how that shows up in dating
                    • Why the butterflies you feel around certain people were never really about attraction
                    • The I AM inventory that reveals who you actually become around specific people
                    • What your body is trying to tell you about the people you spend time with
                    • The Erotic Emotional Map for tracing your relationship patterns back to their earliest source
                    • Why "pruning" your relationships is only half the work and what to do with the empty space that scares most people back into old patterns
                    • How to have the "updated conversations" most married couples never actually have
                    • The Therapist's Take: My top three strategies for breaking the patterns that keep repeating in your life
                    • Related Episodes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

                      • 249 — The Hidden Link Between Childhood Trauma and Chronic Health Issues with Dr. Aimie Apigian
                        • 302 — Why You Choose Familiar Pain Over Unfamiliar Peace (and How to Break Free From Those Patterns)
                        • Links & Resources

                          ⁠⁠Psyche's Awakening

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                          50 min
                        • 352 — Not Sad, Not Happy, Just... Nothing? Why You Feel Numb—and How to Come Back

                          Have you ever felt like you just don't feel anything at all? Not exactly sad, but not happy either. Something good happens and you think, well, that's nice. Something bad happens and you think, okay. And you move through your days feeling sort of flat.

                          That's emotional numbness. And while it might seem like a good thing to numb yourself to discomfort, there are some downsides to it too.

                          Some of the things I talk about are:

                          • The winter I couldn't even feel the cold—and how the feeling came back so slowly I almost missed it.
                          • The four different kinds of numb, and why the right response depends on which one you're in.
                          • Why you can't selectively numb the hard feelings without dimming joy and excitement along with them.
                          • The reason feeling numb leaves so many people exhausted—even though it seems like they're not doing anything at all.
                          • Why the feelings you push down don't disappear—and how they resurface two years later in the grocery store.
                          • Why coming back to life isn't a dam bursting, but a dimmer switch your brain controls on purpose.
                          • Why chasing a big emotion (the sad movie, the old photos) often backfires and the small thing to reach for instead.
                          • The "flicker" to watch for, and why motivation follows action here, not the other way around.
                          • Related Episodes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

                            • 272 — How to Handle Big Emotions: 5 Science-Backed Skills to Stay in Control
                              • 332 — Should You Sit With Your Feelings or Change How You Feel? The One Question That Decides It
                              • Links & Resources

                                Buy a copy of⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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                                20 min
                              • 351 — How to Build the Self-Worth You Need to Feel Good Enough (Without Faking It, Affirming It, or Achieving It) With Dr. Marisa Franco

                                Have you ever finally gotten something that you thought would make you feel worthy, like a degree or a promotion, and you still felt like you weren't good enough? Or maybe when someone gives you a genuine compliment, you feel worse instead of better.

                                My guest is Dr. Marisa Franco, a psychologist, professor at the University of Maryland, and New York Times bestselling author. And she says we've been lied to about what really builds self-worth. But the good news is, once we learn the truth, we can all increase our self-worth without achieving more.

                                Some of the things we discuss are:

                                • Why compliments and success can actually feel threatening when you're struggling with self-worth
                                • The difference between the two kinds of high self-esteem (and how to tell which one you actually have)
                                • Why "I only date secure people" misses how humans actually work — and the case for being "secure-ish" instead
                                • Why memories are the "database of self-esteem" — and how the brain uses your past to predict your future
                                • How to go back to a painful memory and give your younger self exactly what they needed
                                • Why you don't have to remember what happened to heal past wounds
                                • The three-step framework to try the next time you feel bad about yourself
                                • Healthy ways to handle hard feelings
                                • The Therapist's Take: My top three strategies for building real self-worth starting today
                                • Related Episodes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

                                  • ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠219 — Stop Hating Yourself: A Step-by-Step Guide to Reclaiming Your Worth with Dr. Blaise Aguirre⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
                                  • 104 — What Your Sentimental Keepsakes Reveal About Your Self-Worth
                                  • Links & Resources

                                    ⁠Worth: The New Science of Self-Esteem and Secure Attachment


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                                    46 min
                                  • 350 — How to Stay Mentally Strong in the Age of AI

                                    When's the last time you asked AI to help you with something personal? Maybe you pasted in a text message and asked what the person really meant by it. Maybe you laid out both sides of a hard decision and asked what you should do.

                                    AI can be genuinely helpful for quick answers—but if you're not careful, it may be quietly draining your mental strength. I'm already seeing this unfold in my therapy office as people hand over more and more. And I fell into it myself, running my own emails through Claude before I realized I wasn't getting better information—I was just getting a stamp of approval. In today's episode, I'll explain how leaning on AI can weaken your ability to trust your own judgment, the three things you should never outsource to it, and the simple rule that protects your mind in the age of AI.

                                    Some of the things I talk about are:

                                    • The moment I caught myself defaulting to a chatbot instead of my own voice—after decades of writing my own emails without a second thought.
                                    • The MIT study on what happens in your brain when you lean on AI to think for you—and the "cognitive debt" you rack up without noticing.
                                    • The one simple rule that changes everything about how you use AI (and why the order you do things matters more than you'd think).
                                    • Why asking AI about your feelings is really asking for permission to feel them—and the mental strength skill you lose when you do.
                                    • The friend who let AI choose between two jobs, moved across the country, and later couldn't explain how he'd made the decision.
                                    • Why AI is at its absolute weakest on the decisions that matter most about your life.
                                    • The woman whose relationship AI called "avoidant" one day and "securely attached" the next—and what it reveals about outsourcing your read on other people.
                                    • Why AI makes an old trap easier than ever: the friend who'd eventually push back at 3am, and the chatbot that never will.
                                    • Related Episodes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

                                      • 248 — The 3 Words That Will Make You Mentally Stronger
                                      • 204 — 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do in Today’s World
                                      • Links & Resources

                                        Buy a copy of⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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                                        21 min
                                      • 349 — 7 Uncomfortable Truths That Are Keeping You Stuck (And What to Do About Each One) With Psychotherapist Kier Gaines

                                        Most people wait for the right moment, the right feeling, the right amount of information before they change. But my guest today says it all starts when you confront the seven uncomfortable truths that are holding you back.

                                        My guest is Kier Gaines, a licensed professional counselor who reaches more than 40 million people on social media every month. His new book is It All Starts When You Do.

                                        Some of the things we discuss are:

                                        • Why waiting for the right moment costs you the life you want
                                        • The difference between accountability and self-blame
                                        • Why self-awareness alone almost never leads to change (and what actually does)
                                        • The seven uncomfortable truths and why the first step isn't fixing them, it's getting curious about them
                                        • Why affirmations can make you feel worse
                                        • Why overwhelm is often a failure of systems, not a failure of your capabilities
                                        • The five stages of behavioral change and why knowing which one you're in changes what you should actually do next
                                        • Why "I only date healed people" misses how humans actually work
                                        • Why distress tolerance might be the single most important skill for growing mentally stronger
                                        • The Therapist's Take: My top three strategies for starting when you're not ready
                                        • Related Episodes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

                                          • ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠86 — The 6 Stages of Change: How to Transform Your Life
                                            • ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠332 — Should You Sit With Your Feelings or Change How You Feel? The One Question That Decides It⁠
                                            • Links & Resources

                                              It All Starts When You Do


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                                              51 min
                                            • 348 — Still Cringing About Something You Did Years Ago? Here's Why (And How to Stop).

                                              Is there a moment from your past that still makes you cringe? Something you said at a party years ago, a text you wish you could unsend, a version of you that you can't believe you ever were? And does that moment ever run through your mind when you don't wish to replay it?

                                              In today's episode, I'll share a cringe moments that my brain loves to replay, explain why certain moments get cemented in there forever, and give you three strategies to move through them—so you can stop feeling the pain all over again and stop letting those memories shrink your life.

                                              Some of the things I talk about are:

                                              • The on-camera interview I've never once been able to bring myself to watch—and the part I left out that still makes me cringe.
                                              • Why your brain files a social slip-up like a physical injury, and treats an awkward comment like a threat to your survival.
                                              • Why embarrassment and shame stick when almost every other bad feeling fades—and what that says about the moments you can't shake.
                                              • How replaying cringe can shrinks your life.
                                              • Why "cringe" may stem from three different feelings and why it's so important to label them correctly.
                                              • The reason your brain replays the worst four seconds on a loop instead of the whole scene—and how to change the story it's telling.
                                              • The "spotlight effect," and the research showing how badly we overestimate how many people even noticed.
                                              • Related Episodes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

                                                • ⁠59 — 3 Ways to Take Back Your Power When Negative People Try to Drag You Down⁠
                                                • ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠199 — Can You Really Change Who You Are? The Surprising Truth About Personality With Olga Khazan
                                                • Connect with the Show

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                                                  23 min

                                                About Mentally Stronger with Therapist Amy Morin

                                                From the publisher's feed

                                                Growing mentally stronger will change your life and therapist Amy Morin wants to show you how to make it happen.

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