How To Love Yourself No Matter What

292. Feeling Is Inevitable. Suffering Is Optional.


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Feeling is part of being human. Suffering is not.

In this episode, Amanda breaks down the crucial difference between feeling emotions and suffering because of them. You’ll hear a raw, honest reflection on what it’s like to try to “hold it all together,” why doing more never actually fixes emotional overwhelm, and how learning to slow down is the real way out of suffering.

This episode is a reminder that you don’t need better tools, better behavior, or more discipline — you need to take your foot off the emotional gas.

What You’ll Learn
  • Why 50% of life is always uncomfortable emotion (no matter how well you’re doing)
  • The difference between feeling pain and creating suffering
  • How “trying not to feel” actually extends suffering
  • Why doing more, pushing harder, or expecting yourself to cope better doesn’t work
  • The compounding factors that turn pain into long-term suffering
  • What it really means to “take your foot off the emotional gas”
  • Simple, practical ways to slow your nervous system in real time
  • How to start asking yourself, “What do I need right now?” — and listening to the answer

Key Takeaways
  • Feeling is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
  • Pain happens. Hurt happens. Loss, rejection, and grief are real.
  • Suffering comes from:
  • Judgment
  • Pressure
  • Emotional acceleration
  • Not slowing down
  • Not regulating your nervous system
  • You don’t need to fix yourself — you need to pause
  • Slowing down is not quitting; it’s leadership
  • Self-trust is built in small percentages — 5%, then 10%, then more

Practical Tools Mentioned
  • Taking your foot off the emotional gas
  • Regulating through the senses:
  • Look around
  • Notice what you see, hear, smell, taste, touch
  • Breathing and grounding (takes seconds, not minutes)
  • Asking yourself:

“What do I need in this moment?”
  • Choosing support instead of speed

Memorable Quote“Feeling is inevitable. Suffering is not.”Want This Kind of Support in Your Ear Every Day?

If this episode resonated and you find yourself thinking, “I need more of this — consistently,” that’s exactly why my membership exists.

Inside the membership, you get ongoing support to help you:

  • Slow down instead of pushing harder
  • Regulate your nervous system in real life
  • Build self-trust one moment at a time
  • Learn how to feel without suffering

This is the work — and you don’t have to do it alone.

👉 Join us at:

joinamanda.ca

Invitation

Bring your questions.

Bring the overwhelm.

Bring the part of you that’s exhausted from trying to hold it all together.

You know where to find me.

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How To Love Yourself No Matter WhatBy Amanda Hess: Certified Life Coach for women ready to heal past hurt and finally thrive

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