Most moms want the best for their athlete daughters. However, in the process, they can unintentionally make some mistakes that wind up hurting their daughter’s confidence in the long run.

These are all very common things that most mothers, including myself, have done. And I've seen moms do these things without realizing the long-term effects they're having on their daughter's mental health.

I want to go over these things and share them with you because almost every mother has made these mistakes. Don't be too harsh on yourself, either, because you're not alone in this. I've done these things as well, and I wanted to shed some light on them.

Why do we do it? I know we always start with the best of intentions. But what we intended to be beneficial may end up harming our daughter's mental health in the long run. So, let's start with what causes these three common errors and how we can avoid them.

Mistake #1. Thinking that your daughter will play more confidently if you just tell her to be confident or get out of her head.

This is something we're all guilty of. I'm sure you've had the experience of telling your daughter, "Just go be confident," "don't be nervous," or "relax."

Unfortunately, this will not always work. That's because telling isn't the same as teaching. You can't just advise someone to be confident and expect them to immediately look and feel confident.

Mistake #2. Not realizing how your own confidence impacts your daughters.

You may be asking what your confidence has to do with your daughter's self-esteem. The truth is, you are one of the most influential people in your daughter's confidence. And so your own confidence influences your daughter's confidence. Your own self-belief influences your daughter's self-belief. Your own mental game impacts your daughter's mental game.

Mistake #3. Expecting your daughter’s mental game will just improve with more experience or with help from the coach.

This is easy to believe because your daughter's coach is “the coach”. You might be thinking that they are in charge and that they know the quality practices, and how to prepare for competition to win.

Coaches might be in charge of their physical training but not the aspect of mental training. Most coaches are not trained in the mental side of the sport.

Athletes who focus on their mental game feel free to take risks and play their hearts out because they aren't frightened of making mistakes. They understand that mistakes are a necessary element of their development and success. This is something we teach in our elite competitor program at the University of Bath.

Confident and elite athletes are those who have followed a system and who have worked on their own beliefs about themselves and are very aware of how to shift their limiting beliefs, how to shift their thoughts, and how to turn negative thoughts into productive thoughts.

The overarching remedy to the three faults we've outlined is to take care of your mental game. You can't just tell her to be confident and hope for the best.

There's actually a process, training, and work involved for your female athlete to have a competitive advantage. So, make sure that you're very aware of how you're showing up for your daughters. You can't always depend on time, or on her coach to hone your daughter's mental game and confidence. You need to stay in your role to shape the environment for your daughter.

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