Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “If they would just do this differently, everything would be fine”?

This episode is about why that pattern keeps us stuck and the three questions that can shift the entire dynamic- and how it's completely changed the way I move through conflict in my relationship.

In this episode we explore:

* Why we hyperfixate on our partner during conflict

* The hidden attachment behind “I wish they would…”

* How codependent dynamics show up during arguments

* The 3 questions that interrupt blame cycles

* How vulnerability creates safety in relationships

* Why waiting for your partner to go first keeps you stuck

Your invitation…

Take a moment to practice this in the comments. Think of a recent conflict that’s come up for you in your relationship and ask yourself the following questions:

* What do I wish they would do?

* How would I feel if they did it?

* Am I giving that to them — or to myself?

I invite you to share in the comments, or if you’re in the Codependency Alchemy membership, you can share your reflections in our chat.

If this conversation resonates, you’re invited into the Codependency Alchemy community on Substack where we practice these reflections together through prompts, discussions, and live calls.

Click here to join as a free subscriber or the membership for deeper support.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alyssaaazander.substack.com/subscribe