I started getting good at volleyball around my sophomore year when I finally started to grow into my 6ft frame. 

I was playing a lot. I started getting noticed... by colleges, other teams, and coaches. 

My teammates also noticed. And some didn’t like it...

I can remember the snarky comments.. “She thinks she’s so good…”
The subtle eye rolls when coach would announce the starting lineup. 
And wanting to hide my stats in the paper so that some of my teammates wouldn’t see. 

As females, we walk this line of “being your best” but “not too good” daily. 

Today, I’m talking about how to handle the teammates who bring you down.

Here’s what to do if you’ve got a “mean girl” situation on your hands…

Decide who’s opinion you care about

“Don’t worry about what others think” sounds good, but it isn’t totally realistic. 

We are wired to care about what other people think of us. 

However, how much we care about what others think is in our control. 

What’s even more important? What we think about ourselves. 

One activity that I love to help with this comes from Brené Brown’s book Rising Strong. 

I share exactly what to do in the episode! 

Keep her goals at the forefront

Athletes can remind themselves of their long-term goals, the athlete they want to become, and the big picture of what they're trying to achieve daily. This should be a part of a daily mindset routine to help her focus on who she is becoming.

She can ask herself what she cares about more: The opinions of some of her teammates or what she wants to achieve and accomplish in her sport?

Most of the time, her long-term goals will win out and it will make snarky comments and petty actions seem small in comparison. 

Practice compassion

This one might sound surprising, but it helps to shift your mindset to take a peek into why these “mean girls” feel the need to bring others down. 

Usually it’s because they are feeling jealous and insecure and don’t know what else to do. Often, bringing others down is their attempt to feel better about themselves. 

This absolutely does not excuse bad behavior, but it can help to realize that their actions are often less about your athlete and more about themselves. 

Stand Up and/or Seek help

If a teammate’s behavior is continuing to impact her, it is absolutely okay to speak up, hold  boundaries, and tell them how their actions make her feel. 

Of course, if you are feeling threatened, bullied, or in a situation of harassment or abuse, seek help from your coach or parent immediately! 

“Mean girls” are difficult. However, with simple shifts to her mindset (and choosing to take further action if needed) she can absolutely thrive despite them. 

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