There's a certain quality in men that a lot of women long for -- and I mean long for it from the depths of their beings -- but often don't talk about.

Why don't they? Because a lot of women (myself included) hold a certain amount of shame around wanting it in the first place.

And what is the quality? It's an aspect of healthy masculinity that we don't often discuss, but we're putting front and center here.

I've also noticed that in every chick lit novel I've ever read (a version of romance), men exhibit this quality, and the women melt for it. When I myself read the books and these parts come up, my whole body relaxes.

This is a quality that builds immense emotional safety in a relationship, whether you're still in the dating phase or you're married. If you want to be her hero and have her feel truly safe with you, listen on!

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Memorable quotes from this episode:

• "The women I was first attracted to were those I perceived as needing help, support, a savior."
• "The excess of the caregiver archetype is the martyr."
• "It’s about making the other person’s life just a little bit easier."
• "We don’t ask for it because we feel like we’re too much."
• "True nurturing is laying the groundwork around you — letting you grow in the fullness of yourself."

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Mentioned on this episode:

• One of our favorite songs: Banks by NEEDTOBREATHE
• Scott's organization, The Inspiring Men Project
• Dear Men episode 128: Feel like you're walking on eggshells? Recognizing Borderline Personality Disorder