Race and Everyday Friction – Ending Well in Counselling Training

In Episode 343 of the Counselling Tutor Podcast, your hosts Rory Lees-Oakes and Ken Kelly take us through this week’s three topics:

Firstly, in ‘Ethical, Sustainable Practice’, they explore the importance of having an online and telephone informed supervisor when you work in this way.

Then in ‘Practice Matters’, Rory speaks with Sarah Henry about her concept of race and everyday friction - how these subtle, often hidden experiences shape identity and create barriers in life and therapy.

And finally in ‘Student Services’, Rory and Ken discuss the significance of ending well in counselling training - how to navigate goodbyes with your peers and why these endings matter in your development.

Why Have an Online and Telephone Informed Supervisor? [starts at 03:12 mins]

In this section, Rory and Ken unpack the ethical importance of having an online and telephone informed supervisor when you practice in these ways.

Key points discussed include:

Supervision is an ethical requirement to ensure your practice is safe, effective, and supportive of clients.

When working online or by phone, you need a supervisor who understands the specific challenges of these settings—like missing visual cues, managing silences, and the different technical considerations.

Formal training in online and telephone working is essential, as supervisors who lack this training might not be able to guide or support you fully.

Ethical frameworks (like the BACP’s) and supervision competencies in the UK highlight the need for supervisors to hold formal training in any special areas of practice.

Supervisors with this training will understand nuances like the disinhibition effect (when clients behave differently online) and data protection considerations.

Race and Everyday Friction [starts at 18:53 mins]

In this week’s ‘Practice Matters’, Rory speaks with Sarah Henry, a counsellor and trainer who explores the concept of everyday friction. Those small, often overlooked experiences of race that shape a person’s daily life.

Key points from this conversation include:

Everyday friction can be things like plasters (band-aids) that don’t match darker skin tones, or seeing few Black people on greeting cards - small examples of how whiteness is often the default in society.

These small frictions are constantly present and shape identity in powerful ways.

White people may not recognise these frictions because they are not impacted by them directly.

Conversations about race often start by talking about these everyday frictions - it’s how we build bridges and develop understanding.

Recognising and exploring these micro-moments of exclusion can help therapists be more attuned to the lived experiences of their clients.

Ending Well in Counselling Training [starts at 40:41 mins]

In this section, Rory and Ken share insights on ending well in your counselling course—whether you’re finishing a term, a module, or the whole course.

Key points include:

Good endings help to close the chapter, mark growth, and ensure no regrets are left behind.

Reflect on what you’ve shared and learned with your peers - acknowledge the support, challenges, and personal development.

If there have been tensions with others, consider repairing or at least acknowledging them to avoid unfinished business.

Remember that even if you see some peers in future courses, each group dynamic is unique. It’s important to close this chapter properly.

Taking time to end well helps you carry the experience forward as a positive part of your development.

Links and Resources

Counselling Skills Academy

Advanced Certificate in Counselling Supervision

Basic Counselling Skills: A Student Guide

Counsellor CPD

Counselling Study Resource

Counselling Theory in Practice: A Student Guide

Counselling Tutor Training and CPD