In this episode of the Better Sex Podcast, host Jessa Zimmerman welcomes guest Cory Allen to discuss the concept of learning to love the spouse you have, rather than an idealized version of them. They delve into topics such as managing expectations, taking personal responsibility, and the challenges that arise in intimate relationships. Cory emphasizes that love has no strings attached and involves acceptance as well as personal growth. They also discuss the importance of owning one's choices, the stages of relationship evolution, and dealing with significant issues like financial deceit or addiction. This conversation includes practical advice for maintaining love and connection while navigating the complexities of marriage.

00:00 Welcome to Better Sex

00:48 Introducing Corey Allan

01:01 Loving the Spouse You Have

01:43 The Idealized Spouse

04:12 Phases of a Relationship

11:18 The Evolution of Marriage

14:52 Desire Discrepancy Resources

15:18 Sexual Expectations and Realities

17:03 Facing Relationship Challenges

21:26 Savoring Intimacy: Slowing Down for Connection

22:33 Navigating Sexual Differences in Marriage

23:22 Embracing Choices in Relationships

24:06 Personal Growth Through Challenges

25:08 Handling Minor Annoyances with Grace

30:15 Confronting Major Relationship Issues

32:03 The Courage to Love and Grow

37:02 The Evolution of Marriage

37:51 Where to Find More Resources

Interested in all my desire discrepancy resources? https://www.desirediscrepancy.com

Bio:

Corey Allan (if you want to be formal it’s Dr. Corey Allan, but he's usually pretty casual) is a husband, father, author, speaker, as well as a Marriage and Family Therapist with a Ph.D. in Family Therapy. He and his wife Pam host a weekly podcast, Sexy Marriage Radio, where they help frame conversations and actions that help couples create a marriage fully alive.

Corey has a practice online and is the founder of SMR, an online resource aimed at helping marriages not just survive, but thrive.

Marriage is more about developing character and wisdom as a human than it is about the two people being happy.

Love is a process, not just a feeling. It produces action. Added to this, life is choice (so is marriage). Therefore we work to help people:

Grow deeper Spiritually

Keep it simple

Be passionate

Live in community with others

Enjoy the ride

Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.

More info and resources:

Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcast

Secret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcast

How Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.com

The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com

The Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.com

Podcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com

Access the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass