In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, sex therapist and host Jessa Zimmerman explores the critical importance of focusing on the lower desire partner in relationships struggling with mismatched libidos and desire discrepancy.

Drawing from real insights from a recent couples coaching call, Jessa reveals why higher desire partners need to shift their perspective and develop deeper empathy and understanding for their lower desire counterparts. This episode is essential listening for any couple dealing with libido differences, sexual desire issues, or intimacy challenges.

What You'll Learn:

✅ How to support the low libido partner in your relationship

✅ Effective communication strategies for couples with desire discrepancy

✅ Ways to rebuild trust after sexual tension and conflict

✅ How to create a safe space for vulnerable conversations about sex

✅ Why empathy and patience are crucial for resolving mismatched desire

✅ How to listen to your partner's struggles and pain without rushing to fix everything

✅ Strategies for overcoming sexual tension in long-term relationships

✅ Steps toward achieving a more fulfilling sex life together

Perfect for couples experiencing sexual frustration, relationship conflict, or anyone wanting to improve their sexual relationship and intimate connection.

00:00 Introduction to Better Sex

01:02 The Value of Focusing on the Lower Desire Partner

02:53 Breakthroughs in Communication

06:16 Steps to Reconnect and Understand

09:10 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

09:47 Closing Remarks and Call to Action

Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.

More info and resources:

Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcast

Secret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcast

How Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.com

The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com

The Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.com

Podcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com

Access the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

Welcome back to the Better Sex Podcast! In this powerful episode, host Jessa Zimmerman reunites with returning guest Rob Kancler for an in-depth conversation about transforming your intimate life through body-based practices.

🔥 WHAT YOU'LL LEARN IN THIS EPISODE:

✨ Erotic Circuitry & Sexual Wellness

Understanding your unique erotic circuitry and how to activate it

Unlocking your full orgasmic potential through body awareness

How to cultivate body intelligence for better sex

💨 Breathwork for Intimacy

The transformative power of the "Yes Breath" technique

Breathing exercises for sexual enhancement

Physiological aspects of breathing and their impact on arousal

❤️ Emotional & Physical Connection

Emotional self-regulation strategies for intimate relationships

How to reconnect with your body for deeper intimacy

The crucial role of emotions in sexual experiences and overall well-being

This episode is packed with practical tips, actionable strategies, and expert guidance to help you enhance your intimate connections, improve relationship satisfaction, and optimize your personal sexual health.

Perfect for anyone looking to:

Improve their sex life naturally

Strengthen intimate relationships

Learn body-based practices for better intimacy

Understand the mind-body connection in sexuality

Develop emotional intelligence in relationships

00:00 Introduction to Better Sex Podcast

00:45 Welcoming Back Rob Kancler

01:47 Exploring Erotic Circuitry

04:32 Understanding Breathwork and Somatics

10:07 The Importance of Emotional Intelligence

11:31 The Role of Cranial Nerves in Emotional and Physical Health

13:24 The Connection Between Emotions and Physical Health

21:33 The Impact of Suppressed Emotions

40:58 Practical Steps to Open Circuitry for Better Sex and Emotional Health

46:12 The Power of Breathing

46:58 Breathing Techniques for Mental Health

48:41 Practical Breathing Exercise

57:01 The Impact of Breathing on Sexual Health

01:00:09 The Role of Emotions in Physical Health

01:03:34 Integrating Breathwork into Daily Life

01:11:20 The Orgasm Reflex and Sexual Potential

01:19:02 Resources and Next Steps

Find all the Better Sex special collections at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/collections

Bio:

Rob Kancler is an artist, athlete, entrepreneur, and modern mystic. He runs Men of Substance™, a sexual mastery program serving men worldwide. His revolutionary work gives all people access to the profound sexual experiences hidden in the most obscure spiritual traditions—radically expanding a conversation most people take for granted and revealing the blind spots about sex that everyone carries but no one sees. The truth is this quietly keeps men and women from the confidence, vitality, love, meaning, and deeper fulfillment available in every part of life. Check him out at robkancler.com, take the free assessment at bedroomcompass.com, or explore the foundational Men of Substance™ program at robkancler.com/blueprint.

Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.

More info and resources:

Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcast

Secret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcast

How Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.com

The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com

The Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.com

Podcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com

Access the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

In this soapbox episode of the Better Sex Podcast, host Jessa Zimmerman addresses the common misconception that menopause is a temporary phase. She explains that menopause is a permanent change, where hormone production reverts to levels similar to those of a young child. Drawing on a conversation with Dr. Irwin Goldstein, she emphasizes the importance of adapting to or treating this change, often through hormone replacement therapy (HRT). Jessa encourages listeners to research, talk to their doctors, and consider the best approach for them and their partners. She also mentions prior episodes featuring experts on the topic of HRT.

00:00 Introduction to Better Sex

00:44 Soapbox Episode Introduction

01:00 Understanding Menopause: A Permanent Change

01:50 Insights from Dr. Irwin Goldstein

02:47 Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) Discussion

03:25 Adapting to Menopause

04:10 Conclusion and Further Resources

04:28 Listener Engagement and Support

04:58 Credits and Acknowledgements

Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.

More info and resources:

Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcast

Secret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcast

How Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.com

The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com

The Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.com

Podcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com

Access the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

Jessa Zimmerman, host of Better Sex, welcomes back Jess Levith to discuss 'sexual emergence' – the fluid nature of sexuality and its changes over time. They delve into personal experiences and professional insights, covering the impact of life stages and contexts on sexual identity. Jess Levith explains how her unexpected crush led to a journey of self-discovery and the concept of sexual emergence. They also discuss the application of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and the 'sexaflex' model in understanding and navigating changes in sexuality. This episode aims to inspire listeners to explore and understand their sexual identity through different life contexts.

00:00 Introduction to Better Sex Podcast

00:46 Guest Introduction: Jess Levith on Sexual Emergence

02:11 Personal Journey and Realization

03:31 Understanding Sexual Emergence

05:30 Sexual Contextualism and Ecosystems

09:58 Exploring Sexual Fluidity

12:26 Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

17:22 Practical Applications of ACT in Sexuality

18:34 Introduction to Sex Therapy

18:48 Deconstructing Sexual Issues

19:37 Exploring Values and Spirituality

21:22 Present Time Awareness and Acceptance

23:05 Sexual Emergence and Midlife Challenges

25:48 Proactive Sexual Exploration

28:59 Writing and Resources

31:10 Conclusion and Listener Engagement

Find my new quizzes:

For the higher desire partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdpmistake

For the lower desire partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldpmistake

Bio:

Jess Levith is a certified sex therapist through AASECT (the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists) seeing therapy clients within the state of CA. She teaches at various colleges around the Bay Area and has specialized training in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Attachment Focused EMDR, Out of ControlSexual Behaviors (OCSB), and Modern Attachment Theory (interpersonal neurobiology).

In the past few years she's taken a deeper dive into buddhist psychology, completing a certificate program at The Institute for Meditation and Psychotherapy. Currently she's working on a book that takes a deep dive into ACT and sexual emergence later in life.

@jesslevith_cst

sexualcontextualism.com

east-baytherapy.com

Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.

More info and resources:

Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcast

Secret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcast

How Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.com

The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com

The Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.com

Podcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com

Access the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

n this episode of The Betters Sex Podcast, hosted by sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman, the focus is on exploring the implications of framing sexual desires as needs within intimate relationships. Jessa discusses the potential problems that arise when individuals feel their sexual needs aren't being met by their partners, and stresses the importance of viewing desires from a mutual perspective. She encourages listeners to reflect on what they truly gain from sex and consider if those desires can be met through other means or in varied ways with their partners, emphasizing collaboration and shared experiences for a more fulfilling relationship.

00:00 Introduction to Better Sex

01:06 Exploring Sexual Desires as Needs

02:28 Understanding the Pressures on Sex

04:10 Shifting the Focus to Mutual Desires

06:51 Conclusion and Listener Engagement

Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.

More info and resources:

Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcast

Secret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcast

How Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.com

The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com

The Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.com

Podcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com

Access the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

In this episode of the Better Sex Podcast, hosted by sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman, guests Britton and Carolee share their transformative journey from a strict Mormon upbringing to a deeply connected and sexually fulfilling relationship. They discuss the challenges of infidelity, the lack of support within their church, and the pivotal role of trauma-informed healing practices, including psychedelics and yoga. The couple's story unfolds from dealing with church disciplinary actions to exploring substances like cannabis and mushrooms, leading to profound emotional and sexual healing. They also highlight their decision to leave the church, undertake an 18-month pilgrimage, and engage in extensive self-discovery and spiritual growth. Carlee and Briton's story provides valuable insights into overcoming deep-seated trauma and embracing a life of authenticity and connection.

00:00 Introduction to Better Sex Podcast

00:50 Meet Carolee Britton: A Journey of Transformation

02:05 Struggles Within the Church

03:58 The Healing Process and Discontent

07:48 Exploring New Paths

14:56 The Role of Psychedelics in Healing

16:46 Mushroom Experience and Church Realization

18:31 Carolee's Healing Journey with Mushrooms

20:40 Transforming Sexual Relationships

23:44 Sexual Reeducation and Moving to Bali

26:32 Raising Children with New Perspectives

28:48 Healing from Infidelity

33:35 Promoting Their Healing Journey

Find Jessa's resources for navigating libido mismatch at https://www.desirediscrepancy.com

Bio:

Britton and Carolee, raised in the strict dogma of the Mormon church, and with infidelity threatening their marriage and family, found themselves at a cliff’s edge. Through a deep commitment to heal, these two left everything they knew to find themselves. Over a period of five years, they rebooted their relationship and traveled the world seeking their truth with four kids in tow. They have emerged on the other side as an embodied and awakened couple with a powerful message to share.

www.themagicalstoryofus.com

@ mystic and witch

Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.

More info and resources:

Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcast

Secret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcast

How Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.com

The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com

The Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.com

Podcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com

Access the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman explores what it means to have a healthy sexual relationship. She introduces the six principles of sexual health as identified by the World Health Organization: consent, non-exploitation, honesty, shared values, safety, and pleasure. Jessa delves into each principle, explaining its importance and providing insights on how couples can apply these concepts to strengthen their intimate relationships. Listeners are encouraged to reflect on these principles and consider areas where they can improve to enhance their sexual health and relationship satisfaction.

00:00 Introduction to Better Sex

00:48 Defining a Healthy Sexual Relationship

01:56 Principle 1: Consent

04:40 Principle 2: Non-Exploitation

07:01 Principle 3: Honesty

08:25 Principle 4: Shared Values

09:47 Principle 5: Safety

11:08 Principle 6: Pleasure

13:00 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

13:28 Closing Remarks and Call to Action

Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.

More info and resources:

Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcast

Secret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcast

How Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.com

The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com

The Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.com

Podcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com

Access the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

In this episode of the Better Sex Podcast, host Jessa Zimmerman interviews Lauren Elise Rogers, a certified holistic sexuality educator and intimacy coach. They discuss the journey from a sex-negative upbringing to crafting a fulfilling and values-aligned sex life. Lauren shares her personal story of overcoming restrictive beliefs rooted in a conservative religious background, through education, therapy, and self-discovery. They explore the concept of sexual scripts and the importance of integrating positive sexual beliefs and values into one's life. The discussion touches on the impact of societal and cultural narratives on sexuality, the role of media, and the significance of writing one's own sexual values mission statement. The episode aims to inspire listeners to rethink and reclaim their sexual identities.

00:00 Introduction to Better Sex Podcast

00:48 Guest Introduction: Lauren Elise Rogers

02:02 Lauren's Background and Upbringing

03:47 Marriage and Personal Struggles

05:01 Turning Point and Seeking Help

07:33 Rebuilding and New Beginnings

10:48 Professional Journey and Current Work

13:08 Exploring Sexual Scripts and Beliefs

16:20 Exploring Sexual Scripts and Improv

17:32 Revisiting Sexual Beliefs and Values

19:17 Crafting a Sexual Values Mission Statement

21:33 Integrating Sexuality into Everyday Life

25:00 The Role of Erotic Literature

29:14 Connecting and Resources

30:35 Conclusion and Listener Engagement

Find my quizzes at https://www.desirediscrepancy.com

Bio:

Lauren Elise Rogers is a Certified Holistic Sexuality Educator and Embodied Intimacy & Relationship Coach, celebrated for her warm and approachable style. Her holistic and embodied approach to education and coaching is deeply rooted in her own pain-to-purpose journey. Lauren brings an empathetic and non-judgmental approach, offering practical tools that empower her clients to take ownership of their pleasure and grow in confidence and connection. She is known for creating shame-free spaces, where she invites individuals and couples to navigate complex topics like long-term partnerships, consensual non-monogamy, life transitions, purity culture and LGBTQIA+ issues.

www.sexedforyou.com/free consult

podcast: The Partnership Podcast. Sex Ed for You

@sex_ed_for_you

Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.

More info and resources:

Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcast

Secret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcast

How Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.com

The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com

The Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.com

Podcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com

Access the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

In this episode of Better Sex, hosted by sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman, listeners are guided through the complexities behind the lack of sexual intimacy in relationships. Zimmerman discusses the factors that contribute to this issue, such as changes in brain chemistry, desire discrepancies, emotional connection, and life stressors. She provides insight into common feelings, like shame and inadequacy, and offers practical strategies for couples to improve their intimate lives. Emphasis is placed on the importance of addressing relationship problems, rediscovering emotional connection, adapting to changes, and open communication without blame. Professional help is recommended for persistent issues, with advice on seeking certified sex therapists. The episode aims to reassure couples that they are not alone and provide actionable steps to enhance their sexual and emotional bonds.

00:00 Introduction to Better Sex Podcast

00:57 Understanding the Lack of Sex in Relationships

01:41 Normalizing Sexual Struggles

03:12 Addressing Desire Discrepancies

04:13 Identifying Relationship Strengths

06:13 Common Reasons for Reduced Sexual Activity

13:06 Rebuilding Emotional and Physical Connection

19:43 Seeking Professional Help

21:16 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.

More info and resources:

Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcast

Secret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcast

How Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.com

The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com

The Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.com

Podcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com

Access the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

In this episode of the Better Sex Podcast, host Jessa Zimmerman welcomes author Tash Doherty to discuss her work on a spicy coming-of-age novel and a sex writing journal. Doherty shares her goal of helping people explore their sexuality and desires through writing while confronting shame. The conversation delves into her personal experiences, creative process, and the impact of sharing intimate stories publicly. The episode also highlights an upcoming Kickstarter for Doherty's journal, aiming to guide individuals in their sexual exploration. Listeners are encouraged to visit her blog and join the project. Overall, the discussion offers insights into the power of writing to deepen one's understanding of sexuality and reduce shame.

00:00 Introduction to Better Sex Podcast

00:50 Guest Introduction: Tash Doherty

01:41 Tash's Journey in Writing

02:50 Exploring Personal Experiences in Writing

04:30 Challenges and Vulnerabilities in Writing

07:33 The Impact of Writing on Personal Growth

13:23 The Benefits of Sex Journaling

21:38 Kickstarter and Final Thoughts

23:17 Conclusion and Listener Engagement

Want to share your personal story on the podcast? It can be done anonymously. Email us at [email protected]

Bio:

Tash Doherty is a British-Irish-American writer and author. She is the creator of Misseducated, a blog, and podcast on a mission to help the world be shamelessly sexy. She started writing her first novel, These Perfectly Careless Things, when she was 14 years old and self-published the book in September 2023 (finally achieving her childhood dream). These Perfectly Careless Things is a spicy, coming-of-age Young Adult novel set in London. Tash has also gone viral on TikTok for over-sharing her birth control experience.

‍

Tash graduated from the Wharton School, University of Pennsylvania, where she studied Business Analytics and Management. In other lives, she worked in analytics at Postmates and Vox Media and still does corporate consulting to pay them pesky bills. She lives in Mexico City.

misseducated.substack.com

Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.

More info and resources:

Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcast

Secret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcast

How Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.com

The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com

The Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.com

Podcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com

Access the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass