Hey Friend, in case youre new here, my name is Arlina and Ill be your host.

Today youll hear from my friends Lane Kennedy andamp; Tamar Medford, as we discuss their new book Sobriety for Dummies. And in case you had the same reaction to the book title as I did, dont worry, I totally asked them about it.

But before we jump in& I just wanted to share something that comes up for a lot of us in recovery, which is seeking external validation andamp; people pleasing.

These are actually very common coping mechanisms that develop in childhood. When were growing up, we are dependent on the adults in our lives to take care of our physical and emotional needs. So if you grew up in a home where your needs were not met or the adults were dysfunctional, then we learn to deny our own needs in ways that appease our parents to get our needs met. This can lead to over achieving behaviors, people pleasing, codependency, and a heavy reliance on external validation. What this means is that we have a tough time recognizing and validating our own needs, wants and feelings.

I actually wrote an article sharing my experience of how I am healing my own need for validation with some practical tips on how to let go of old destructive habits that I think youll enjoy. You can find the article at odaatchat.com.

And in the spirit of cultivating a sense of self-love, follow me on IG for a free 30 day self-love challenge. Just do a search on Arlina Allen.

So without further delay, please enjoy this episode with Lane and Tamar.

=J