Welcome to the podcast!

Its been a minute since I introduced myself, so in case we havent met yet, my name is Arlina and Ill be your host. I have been sober for 31 years, happily married for 28, a mother of two amazing young men, and an english bulldog called Teddy, that you might hear snoring in the background on occasion.

Im also the bestselling author of The 12 Step Guide for Skeptics Clearing up common misconceptions of a path to sobriety. As a sober coach, I help my clients navigate the complex world of recovery and support them through lifes challenges. I coach men and women as they move through early sobriety, transitions at work, healing relationships, and work life balance just to name a few.

Recovery is a process and we dont do this alone. If you need additional support, you can learn more my coaching by visiting soberlifeschool.com

Today I am speaking with Sam Miller, comedian, father, and a person in long term sobriety. We talk about the complicated relationship he had with his father before he died at 12, and the trauma underneath it all that led to years of addiction and suffering.

I have to say, I genuinely appreciated Sams willingness to be so open and vulnerable in this conversation. I walked away feeling hopeful and inspired by his story and how he has created a beautiful life for himself and his family.

So without further delay, please enjoy this episode, and let me know what you think!

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Hey friend,

Thank you for downloading the episode, my name is Arlina and Ill be your host.

Were doing something a little different today. On this call I am speaking with Joslynn who is in long term sobriety, but like many of us, she has been struggling with sticking to a healthy food plan. The funny thing is, we all know what we should eat. But knowing what to do and being able to do it are two different things. What we are going to do on this call, is address the two opposing desires the part that wants to eat healthy and the part that wants to indulge. We will be going through a process called Polarized Parts Work where we honor the intentions of both parts. This is actually a process I take my clients through to help them overcome that internal resistance that shows up when were trying to break out of old habits, start new ones, and generally reach for bigger goals.

I hope that this demonstration gives you a little bit of insight into how you can close the gap between knowing what to do, and taking consistent action.

And if you know anybody who is struggling with self sabotage or procrastination, please consider sharing this episode with them.

So without further delay, please enjoy this episode, and let me know what you think!

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Today I am joined by my friend and fellow podcaster Brock Bevelle. Hes a retired police officer and a man in long term sobriety from opioid addiction. He also manages the Tiktok and IG accounts called @Fentanylprojectaz where he interviews people on the street in active addiction.

We are going to talk about what its like to be in long term sobriety and actually get into some of our dark addiction stories that keep us sober that we dont normally talk about.

I also wanted to bring awareness to Brocks work where he is actually in the streets trying to help people kick fentanyl addiction. He offers basics like hygiene kits, sunscreen, and water, but he also offers emotional and recovery resources. Not only that, he is literally saving lives on a regular basis. There are many videos on Tiktok where he Narcans people who are actively overdosing. Its heartbreaking, but also so inspiring to watch as he gives hope to so many people.

The main reason I wanted to talk with Brock again is because I wanted to find out how we as a community can support people like him who are on the streets every day. If you are inspired by Brocks work and you feel called to help, Ill encourage you to send him some supplies through his amazon link. Ill leave it in the show notes at odaatchat.com, or you can also find it on IG and Tiktok under @fentanylprojectaz

So without further delay, please enjoy this episode, and let me know what you think!

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Can marriages really survive alcoholism? Well today my guest Melissa shares how hers almost didnt, but with the support of her 12 step program, professional help, and a lot of work, her marriage is now better than ever!

Melissa Stoeltje is the author of Drunk Love Marriage Under The Influence. A memoir that not only shows the dark side of a high achiever who struggled with her drinking, but the steps she took to get her life back on track.

Before we jump in, did you know that there are a bunch of resource guides on the website? Theres a guide for your first 30 days, a resource list of 100 books, podcasts and meetings? Theres even a guide on how to have sober fun! Just visit odaatchat.com

Lastly, if you are enjoying the podcast, please consider leaving a review on Apple podcasts. Your review helps our rankings so that others like you can find the support they need too. I read every review and your support means the world to me.

So without further delay, please enjoy this episode, and let me know what you think!

Get Melissas Book Here https //librarytalespublishing.com/collections/melissa-fletcher-stoeltje

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Hey friends, welcome to the podcast, in case nobody has told you yet today, you are loved!

If youve been listening to the podcast for a while youll know Ive been addressing my financial insecurities lately. Honestly its kind of embarrassing to admit this, but Ive always had a dysfunctional relationship with money. I know this isnt really true, but I have deeply rooted beliefs that money will solve all my problems, and these beliefs are at the root of my workaholism.

Today I will be joined by Barney Whiter, a financial coach who is also sober! Well dive into his story of alcoholism, his relationship with money and how he helps people feel more at ease with it and reach their goals.

Before we jump in, I am looking for volunteers who would like coaching around procrastination, self-discipline, and work life balance. The coaching sessions will be recorded anonymously and published as bonus episodes. I want listeners to get a feel for what coaching is like and benefit from hearing other peoples experiences. If you are interested, just email me at [email protected]

So without further delay, please enjoy this episode, and let me know what you think!

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Just a little programming note Today as I record this, which is April 23 2025, I am celebrating 31 years of sobriety! Im going to record a solo episode in a few days to talk about some of the things I learned this year, and some projects Im working on to better service you, the listener, and my private clients. So stay tuned for that!

If you want to help me celebrate this milestone, I would be so grateful for a review on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

The debate around the use of medications in recovery has been going on for decades, if not longer. With the development of new drugs that treat detox, cravings, anxiety, depression and trauma, its easy to get confused when trying to decide if medications are right for you.

Today I have invited Dr. Eric Arzubi, a medical doctor and Psychiatrist to join me as we discuss evidence-based medications, why there is so much stigma around needing them, and how the impact of childhood trauma could be affecting you in adulthood.

We also talk about the ACE quiz ( adverse childhood experiences) that you can take for free and how to use the results. Ill leave a link to the quiz in the show notes at odaatchat.com

If you find this episode helpful, please share it with your friends. The more we educate our support network the stronger we become as a community.

So without further delay, please enjoy this episode, and let me know what you think!

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Hey Friend, thank you for downloading the episode, my name is Arlina and Ill be your host.

On April 23 I will be celebrating 31 years of continuous sobriety. Its always a time for reflection and as I look back, I want to share the top 3 things that have been key in maintaining my sobriety.

The first is that I have made sobriety my number 1 priority. It comes before my husband, my job, and even my kids. I know that if I dont take care of my mental and emotional well being, that my sobriety could become vulnerable, and thats a risk Im just not willing to take. Theres an old saying that no matter how far down the road you go, youre still the same distance from the ditch. I am very clear that I cannot drink like a normal person, despite how long Ive been sober. Sobriety is the foundation of this life I love so much.

Another component to my sobriety has been community. I have surrounded myself with other people who also have made sobriety their number 1 priority. Theres an idea called the contagion theory, that was developed by researchers at Harvard. It says we are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with. We tend to adopt the beliefs and habits of the people we spend the most time with.

And lastly, maybe most importantly is something I dont think I talk about enough, which is the role that spirituality plays in my life. Im pretty allergic to anything religious, so thats not what Im talking about. I mean no disrespect to religious people if that works for you. I just needed to come to an understanding of what it means to connect to a God of my understanding, which in short is universal law but also a power rooted in love. I have had spiritual experiences that were so profound, theres no other way to explain them. They actually happen so frequently in the recovery community we often refer to them as God Shots. They are like little reminders that we are not alone, and there is a greater power working in our loves.

If you have had a spiritual experience that youd like to share, just leave a comment on the blog at odaatchat.com or you can DM me on Instagram at arlinaallen

And as always, if you find yourself in need of support along your sobriety journey, please reach out to me to find out if sober coaching is right for you. Just visit soberlifeschool.com and book a no obligation call.

Today I have a special guest, Andrea Seydel who is the author of Recovery Without Rock Bottom Reclaim Your life From Addictive Behavior. She is also the host of the super popular, Saving You Is Killing Me Podcast.

Andrea shares how living with an addict led her to a very dark place of self-doubt, and shame that nearly cost her everything. I dont think we talk enough about how destructive addiction is for the family members, so today is an attempt to rectify that. And honestly, I dont think I know a single person in recovery who hasnt suffered from codependency to some degree so this will be a helpful episode for all involved.

So without further delay, please enjoy this episode with Andrea.

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Today I am speaking with Author and Yoga Teacher Bryan Hyman. He will be sharing his experience with addiction, the catalyst to his recovery, and his book, Recovery With Yoga Supportive Practices For Transcending Addiction.

Before we jump in, Id like to introduce a new segment - Sobriety Shorts A bite sized bit of wisdom and an action step to move you deeper into your recovery journey.

Today Id like to talk about The Sobriety Drift. Its what happens when the motivation from emotional pain starts to subside and we start to skip on the action steps that help us feel better. Its happened to me many times. I get super willing out of desperation to do all the self-care like step work, meditation, journaling, exercise&all that stuff. Then voila&I start feeling better! Mood follows action. Cause and effect come into play and I start getting comfortable. Maybe Im tired or pressed for time, and I think Im going to skip my meditation or my journaling and before you know it, days or weeks pass by and I havent done my self care. This is the sobriety drift. Its so subtle I dont even realize its happening until BAM! Something happens to throw me off course and Im back to feeling totally dysregulated. Whats going on under the surface is that I am taking action motivated by a temporary fuel source - fear of pain. Which actually isnt a bad motivator to get you going, but we need to switch to a more sustainable source of motivation mid flight. That would be community, accountability, and routine. We are way more likely to do self care if there is someone else watching or depending on us to do things with them. Like having an exercise buddy, going to self help meetings with friends and doing service work. All of these things provide a more sustainable source for motivation, it encourages self discipline and ultimately keeps you on the straight and narrow.

Id love to hear your thoughts on what keeps you on the path, so leave a comment on the website at odaatchat.com or email me at arlina @soberlifeschool.com or DM me on IG at Arlinaallen.

If you find this helpful, please share it with a friend! The hardest part about growing a podcast is getting the word out, so if you know someone who loves sobriety, let them know about us!

So without further delay, please enjoy this episode, and let me know what you think!

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Hey Friend, in case youre new here, my name is Arlina and Ill be your host.

Today youll hear from my friends Lane Kennedy andamp; Tamar Medford, as we discuss their new book Sobriety for Dummies. And in case you had the same reaction to the book title as I did, dont worry, I totally asked them about it.

But before we jump in& I just wanted to share something that comes up for a lot of us in recovery, which is seeking external validation andamp; people pleasing.

These are actually very common coping mechanisms that develop in childhood. When were growing up, we are dependent on the adults in our lives to take care of our physical and emotional needs. So if you grew up in a home where your needs were not met or the adults were dysfunctional, then we learn to deny our own needs in ways that appease our parents to get our needs met. This can lead to over achieving behaviors, people pleasing, codependency, and a heavy reliance on external validation. What this means is that we have a tough time recognizing and validating our own needs, wants and feelings.

I actually wrote an article sharing my experience of how I am healing my own need for validation with some practical tips on how to let go of old destructive habits that I think youll enjoy. You can find the article at odaatchat.com.

And in the spirit of cultivating a sense of self-love, follow me on IG for a free 30 day self-love challenge. Just do a search on Arlina Allen.

So without further delay, please enjoy this episode with Lane and Tamar.

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Okay friends, buckle up because this is going to be a wild ride!

Frank Parisi is going to share his story about growing up around organized crime, violence, and drug addiction. He has such an interesting story, but I gotta tell you, he has amazing energy and really such incredible passion for life!

Hes going to tell the story of how he got a heart transplant, and all Im going to say, is get out the tissues cuz its a tear jerker.

Before we jump in, I want to share an idea that has really helped me on my journey of recovery that I share with my coaching clients all the time. Its that we only allow into our lives, what we believe we deserve on a subconscious level. I want to stress the subconscious part because our limiting beliefs are actually hidden from our conscious awareness. Thats why you struggle with relapse, or have unhealthy relationships or you find yourself in self-sabotage mode. All these things are evidence of low self-esteem.

The good news is I have a solution for you. I would like to invite you to follow me on IG @arlinaallen for a free 30 day self-esteem challenge. Every day I will post a simple task or suggestion to help you build your self-worth. If you take consistent action, I can assure you that you will raise the level of your self esteem, and make progress towards feeling more peace and ease in your life.

Also, I would just like to say thank you to the supporters of the podcast, your donations are what makes it possible for me to run the podcast without ads.

If you are enjoying the podcast, I would be so grateful if you made a donation. Just visit odaatchat.com and under the tiny little home button at the top, there will be a dropdown menu where you can select donation. Any amount will help, and it allows the message of recovery to be distributed in 84 countries.

If you cant make a donation, you can still support the podcast by leaving a 5 star review in the podcast app that youre listening on. It helps increase our rankings and spread the message of hope to those who need it most.

Heres how to leave a review

https //odaatchat.com/index.php/podcast/

Thats it for announcements! Please enjoy this inspiring episode with Frank Parisi.

Connect with Frank https //frank-parisi.com

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