Hey Friend, in case youre new here, my name is Arlina and Ill be your host.

Today youll hear from my friends Lane Kennedy andamp; Tamar Medford, as we discuss their new book Sobriety for Dummies. And in case you had the same reaction to the book title as I did, dont worry, I totally asked them about it.

But before we jump in& I just wanted to share something that comes up for a lot of us in recovery, which is seeking external validation andamp; people pleasing.

These are actually very common coping mechanisms that develop in childhood. When were growing up, we are dependent on the adults in our lives to take care of our physical and emotional needs. So if you grew up in a home where your needs were not met or the adults were dysfunctional, then we learn to deny our own needs in ways that appease our parents to get our needs met. This can lead to over achieving behaviors, people pleasing, codependency, and a heavy reliance on external validation. What this means is that we have a tough time recognizing and validating our own needs, wants and feelings.

I actually wrote an article sharing my experience of how I am healing my own need for validation with some practical tips on how to let go of old destructive habits that I think youll enjoy. You can find the article at odaatchat.com.

And in the spirit of cultivating a sense of self-love, follow me on IG for a free 30 day self-love challenge. Just do a search on Arlina Allen.

So without further delay, please enjoy this episode with Lane and Tamar.

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Okay friends, buckle up because this is going to be a wild ride!

Frank Parisi is going to share his story about growing up around organized crime, violence, and drug addiction. He has such an interesting story, but I gotta tell you, he has amazing energy and really such incredible passion for life!

Hes going to tell the story of how he got a heart transplant, and all Im going to say, is get out the tissues cuz its a tear jerker.

Before we jump in, I want to share an idea that has really helped me on my journey of recovery that I share with my coaching clients all the time. Its that we only allow into our lives, what we believe we deserve on a subconscious level. I want to stress the subconscious part because our limiting beliefs are actually hidden from our conscious awareness. Thats why you struggle with relapse, or have unhealthy relationships or you find yourself in self-sabotage mode. All these things are evidence of low self-esteem.

The good news is I have a solution for you. I would like to invite you to follow me on IG @arlinaallen for a free 30 day self-esteem challenge. Every day I will post a simple task or suggestion to help you build your self-worth. If you take consistent action, I can assure you that you will raise the level of your self esteem, and make progress towards feeling more peace and ease in your life.

Also, I would just like to say thank you to the supporters of the podcast, your donations are what makes it possible for me to run the podcast without ads.

If you are enjoying the podcast, I would be so grateful if you made a donation. Just visit odaatchat.com and under the tiny little home button at the top, there will be a dropdown menu where you can select donation. Any amount will help, and it allows the message of recovery to be distributed in 84 countries.

If you cant make a donation, you can still support the podcast by leaving a 5 star review in the podcast app that youre listening on. It helps increase our rankings and spread the message of hope to those who need it most.

Heres how to leave a review

https //odaatchat.com/index.php/podcast/

Thats it for announcements! Please enjoy this inspiring episode with Frank Parisi.

Connect with Frank https //frank-parisi.com

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Today I am joined by Alexis, a former coaching client who came to me for support as she was struggling to stay sober. She was dealing with a ton of stress as a business owner, and loads of guilt as a mother.

We also talked about the root causes of being an overachiever, struggling with perfectionism, alcoholism, and workaholism. And as always, we talk a lot about the insights, tools and practices that have helped her to stay sober and heal her relationships.

Ill just warn you up front that towards the end we talk about a naked womens retreat she went on in Italy, and Ill just say, we had a good laugh. I think you will too.

Before we jump in, have you ever been curious about self-hypnosis for things like sobriety, self-esteem and self-worth? If so, then check out the one day at a time youtube channel. I have been creating free videos that will help you to raise your self-esteem, let go of guilt and shame so that you can be free to reach your full potential. There is a link to the YouTube channel in the show notes or just search for The One Day At A Time Recovery Podcast. Im releasing new recordings weekly, so be sure to subscribe!

So without further delay, please enjoy this episode with Alexis

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Financial Insecurity is something that plagues all of us. And it doesnt seem to matter how much money you actually have. Its the fear of not having enough or losing what you have that shows up in a myriad of ways.

So today Ive invited my friend Gary Menkes back to have the conversation around financial insecurity. Hes a Wall Street guy who also happens to be in long term sobriety.

We are going to talk about some of the root causes, and more importantly, some of the solutions that will result in dissolving some of that fear.

Be sure to stay to the end for a little mini course on how to manifest. Ill share the same techniques I used to book big guests like Elizabeth Gilbert and how I tripled my income one year.

But before we jump in, if you have been trying to quit drinking and you feel like you just cant seem to stay stopped, then you might consider sober coaching. I have a program called Make Sobriety Stick that will help you work through some of those hidden obstacles, incorporate tools that help you manage stress and drinking triggers, and give you a personalized plan for success. I am not able to take a ton of clients but do have a couple of spots open. If youre sick and tired of feeling sick and tired, book a free strategy call to see if coaching is right for you. Just visit makesobrietystick.com

So without further delay, please enjoy this episode, and let me know what you think!

Connect with Gary here https //thebeginagainpodcast.com/

Instagram https //www.instagram.com/thebeginagainpodcast/

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Sobriety is not about becoming someone different, it about becoming your authentic self

This is a quote from my conversation with Michaela, the co-host of 2 Sober Girls Podcast and Coach, focusing on wellness and sobriety. We discuss sobriety, manifestation, and lots of tools that will support you on your recovery journey. I absolutely adore Michaela and I know you will too!

And speaking of tools for recovery, if you are thinking of taking a break from drinking, I would like to invite you to download a free guide 30 tips for your first 30 days. It has all my best tips in there on how to prepare before you start, how to talk to your friends and family, how to prevent cravings, and what to do when you get one. The funny thing is, we all face a lot of the same challenges in the beginning, and what I know for sure, is that theres a path around every obstacle. If I can do it, so can you. This guide will show you how. You can get instant access by visiting soberlifeschool.com

So without further delay, please enjoy this episode, and let me know what you think!

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A lot of people with addiction have underlying childhood trauma, but thats not always the case.

Today Im speaking with Nick Padlo. He is a military veteran who spent 27 months in combat between Afghanistan and Iraq. He went on to attend Stanford University and is now the CEO of Sophros Recovery.

In his recent TedTalk, he made the case that we shouldnt have to become an alcoholic in order to learn valuable coping skills, but thats exactly what happened.

I really appreciated Nicks vulnerability in sharing his darkest hour. I know that there are people listening who will deeply relate to his story.

But before we jump in, if you or someone you know is struggling to get sober, please consider getting a copy of The 12 Step Guide for Skeptics Clearing Up Common Misconceptions of a path to sobriety. It will provide context and perspectives to move you past common obstacles to the 12 steps. Its a guide that will help you get into the recovery mindset in a way that will allow you to get all the benefits of 12 steps without any of the nonsense. You can order it through Amazon.

So without further delay, please enjoy this episode, and let me know what you think!

=J

Every once in a while I get off an interview and think wow, its a miracle how some people can survive their childhoods. This was one of those conversations.

Please note that this may be triggering to those with childhood trauma, and Michael does not shy away from the F-bomb.

Michael shares his story of growing up with a mother who was not only an addict, but extremely abusive in many ways. His step father was violent and regularly traumatized him and his siblings as well. All throughout his childhood Michael endured the worst kinds of abuse, which led to addiction, but something happened. Through a series of events Michael took control of his life and not only turned his life around, but he has now dedicated his life to helping others through a very popular podcast, multiple books, and a very successful coaching practice.

This is a very powerful episode of overcoming the odds, and offers hope that no matter what happened in your past, you can turn pain into purpose.

So without further delay, please enjoy this episode, and let me know what you think!

=J

Hey Friend,

Im so glad to hang out with you today!

This is going to be a fun one. And if you havent been watching the YouTube interviews, you want to watch this one. My guest Erinn is absolutely stunning! But thats not even the best part of her because I found her to be so kind, full of faith, and simply inspiring.

She is the co-host of 2 Sober Girls podcast along with the fabulous Michaela Horvathova, as well as a coach, and community facilitator. I love the work she and Michaela are doing and I think you will too.

Before we jump in, I have to share an email I received from a reader of The 12 Step Guide For Skeptics Clearing Up Common Misconceptions of A Path To Sobriety. The email came from Stefanie and she writes

I became sober in december 2023 without AA (but with the help of an online program) but I recently felt like there is still something missing. Stop drinking is not the real deal, Ive learned from your book and so now I am curious about what will happen during this second sober year, because I am joining an AA meeting now and we plan to go through the 12 steps together. I think it is amazing how open you describe your way of thinking and the issues you had to go through.

I feel ready to start working on them thanks to the encouraging book you wrote. Thank you so much and all the best from Germany

Can I just tell you, her email brought me to tears. So Stefanie, if you are listening, thank you for all your kind words!

If you are interested in getting a copy of the book for yourself or a friend, its available on Amazon in either the Kindle Version or in print. The audio version is coming!

So without further delay, please enjoy this episode, and let me know what you think!

=J

Hey Friend,

Thank you for downloading this episode! Its going to be a little bit different that what I normally do, but I think youll get a lot out of it.

Like so many of us in recovery, I have felt really frustrated at times with my own negative repeating patterns. Procrastinating on self-care, spending too much time consuming information instead of acting on it, and at times, feeling really disappointed in myself.

Its a really frustrating experience to recognize when Im feeling stuck and powerless to change, especially when I have tried just about every form of therapy, and read hundreds of books over the last 3 decades.

But over the last couple of years, I have been practicing parts work, specifically polarized parts. An example of this is where I have an ambitious part of me that wants to get stuff done, but also a distractor part that causes me to get overwhelmed and feel paralyzed.

It has been through this parts work that I have been able to resolve this polarization and resistance, to be more productive in the last 12 months than I have in YEARS. I have written a book, been consistent in the gym, my self-care practices, and created a new program that Ill share with you in a moment.

In todays episode, I invited Cece Sykes to join me on the podcast to do a demonstration of this parts work. Cece has been working with the founder of IFS for the last 20 years and I consider her to be the leading expert on polarization.

I believe in this work so much, that its the foundation of The Inner Compass Program, which opens for enrollment on 2/16. The focus of the course will be to use parts work to resolve internal resistance so that we can actually take action on the knowledge we have and prioritize our most important goals. If you have been searching for the missing piece, and feeling like you need something more, then Id like to invite you to join me in this new community. Just visit Innercompassprogram.com/waitlist and youll be the first one in line when enrollment opens.

So without further delay, please enjoy this episode with Cece Sykes.

=J

When is it okay to move away from 12 step programs? Is it okay? Or are we destined to drink or use again? 

For some people, that’s a dangerous prospect to consider, especially in early recovery. For others, it might be a way of honoring the need for something more.

My guest Eric Zimmer, host of the wildly popular podcast “The One You Feed” and I are going to get into the nuances of recovery, how we evolve over the long term and so much more.

Before we jump in, a quick announcement. If you find yourself skipping your self care practices like meditation, exercise, or connecting with others, then you’re probably out of balance. Over time, this leads to increased anxiety, burnout, and ultimately feelings of “not good enough”.  

As a chronic overachiever and goal getter, I fall into this trap myself. The one practice I have found that really helps me to get back on track is a 15 minute journaling exercise. It helps me to validate my own feelings, resolve internal resistance, and get back into balance so I can take action on what matters most, without feeling overwhelmed.

You can download this worksheet for free by visiting: innercompassprogram.com

So without further delay, please enjoy this episode, and let me know what you think!

👊🏼Need help applying this information to your own life?

Here are 3 ways to get started:

🎁Free Guide: 30 Tips for Your First 30 Days - With a printable PDF checklist

Grab your copy here: https://www.soberlifeschool.com

🎁Free Journaling Exercise: How To Get Unstuck, Be Consistent & Reach Your Goals

Download Here: https://www.innercompassprogram.com

☎️Private Coaching: Make Sobriety Stick

https://www.makesobrietystick.com

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