In todays episode Betsy is giving an update on the past few months, shares with you her fun magical story of turning away from worry and how everything is working in your favor and gives a tip on why you have more influence on your world than you think!
Listen in to this episode for a new spin on how you see the world.

Transcription

Betsy [00:00:00]:
Hello and welcome to the Art of Living Big podcast. My name is Betsy Pake. I’m an author, a speaker, and a trainer of NLP and hypnotherapy. And I’m focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of the subconscious. This podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now let’s go live big. Hello, fellow adventurers. Hi everybody.

Betsy [00:00:35]:
Welcome to the Art of Living Big. I have a lot of things to tell. I have a lot of things to update you on, so I’m really happy that you’re here. I have a really magical story that I think might be kind of fun and I have a couple thoughts. Some things that I have been thinking through this year as we kind of kick off 20, 25 and honestly January of the 72 year long month that it was. So last time I talked to you, I had put my house on the market. It was something that I had been thinking about for quite a while and just decided that it was time to sell the house. Now, if you’re not familiar or you’re new here, welcome.

Betsy [00:01:20]:
But I have lived in Atlanta, Georgia, in a house that’s like a hundred years old. And you know, I think now looking back, this house that I bought is the cutest. It’s the cutest house. It had the best front porch and I have fully, fully enjoyed sitting on the front porch and spending so much time out there, like all spring, all fall, I mean, just the middle of the winter, in the middle of the summer, it became unbearable. But I mean, I was out there for hours and hours every day. I did a lot of work out there and just really enjoyed this little house. You know, when I bought it, it was this idea that I really wanted to live in the city and live in east Atlanta, which is where I live now. And this house, I was ready for projects.

Betsy [00:02:12]:
I don’t know if you remember listening to any of the episodes back then, but I had this big house in the suburbs and sold, sold that and moved into the city and was renting. I thought I would rent for a year. I ended up renting for like almost three years and then was ready for this house and to do all these projects. So now looking back, I think what happened, this is my thought, is that I bought a house that probably wasn’t really well maintained. It looked good on the surface and the inspection wasn’t necessarily bad, but there were a lot of things in the inspection that I knew I was gonna have to fix. And I did A lot of that work right after I moved in. But it became a real. A real money pit, I guess you could say.

Betsy [00:03:02]:
I mean, you guys, I expected projects. I didn’t expect the thousands of dollars that it consistently cost me every single month, on top of just what it costs to pay for the house and the utilities and all those things. So it became this huge drain. And every time one thing would go wrong, the next thing would go wrong, or I’d have somebody out to fix something, and then they would notice something else, and it just became like something from a movie. It felt like. So I had fixed everything. I feel like at this point, I probably should have just kept the house for 30 years, because I think I had fixed everything. I had replaced every appliance, the havoc unit, entire bathrooms, toilets.

Betsy [00:03:50]:
You name it, I have done it. But I was pooped. And I just felt like, you know, I think there’s just some changes, you know, that needed to happen in my life, and it was time to make those changes. So back early fall is when those changes started to happen. So I put the house on the market, and I thought, this house is going to sell really fast. It’s so cute, and it’s insanely well maintained at this point. And I thought, it’s going to go, like, within the first week. And, you know, I’ve been really lucky.

Betsy [00:04:22]:
I think this is the eighth house that I’ve owned, and I’ve been really lucky when I’ve sold houses because they’ve sold really fast. And so I think I was expecting that. So here’s my magical story. So I decided, I put it on the market, and then I decided I was going to go to where I was going to go live. So I was going to go to an apartment. It’s an apartment, like maybe a mile down the road. I wanted to stay in the same community. I didn’t know what I wanted to do next or where I really wanted to go, but my daughter lives right here.

Betsy [00:04:53]:
And so I was like, this will make a lot of sense, and I’ll do that. So I go to the apartment, you know, they give me the tour. It’s actually really fun because I’m like, you know what? Something goes wrong, and they have a maintenance department, they have a gym on site, a coffee, you know, place, whatever you call it, coffee house, coffee bar. They’re just, you know, big, huge pool. A lot of the stuff that I was missing from my old house. And I have a huge soaking tub, right? So I was like, this is going to be so Great. I’m a big huge bath person. And I couldn’t take a bath at my old house because it was so old.

Betsy [00:05:31]:
And the, you know, the, the house was not built to have big huge soaking tubs. So I go to this apartment, they give me a tour and I look at a couple places. I’m like, this is the unit or the style of the unit that I want, right? So I’m really clear. And I told them when I was gonna want it. I thought I’d move like in a month. Cause I thought I was gonna get, I thought as soon as I get a contract and we’re through the due diligence period, you know, where they do their inspection and everything and then we’ll move, I’ll move. Well, didn’t sell right off, but every night I was getting in bed and I was just imagining where I was. I was imagining that apartment.

Betsy [00:06:15]:
And although the apartment that I saw was the model, I knew it wasn’t going to be that exact apartment. But since that’s the apartment that I saw, that’s the one I was imagining, you know, the apartment I was going to get was like flip flopped, you know, it was like an upside down version, you know, of the model. So it was flip flopped. Different view, of course, and all of that. But every night I’m laying in bed and I am just thinking about what it feels like to be in the bedroom. Like where would the walls feel because it would be different than the house. Where is the bathroom door? Like where would I go for those things, you know? I imagined wiping down the islands on the kitchen and it like the island overlooks. This is like a new style, I think, where the island in the overlooks like the living room and there’s a sink in the island.

Betsy [00:07:04]:
Do you know what I mean? So it’s all like this open space, a lot different than a hundred year old house. So I’m imagining this, right? I’m imagining like looking out the window and what do I see? And of course I’m imagining what I see from the model because that’s all I know. But it doesn’t matter. Matter because I’m just envisioning, you know, anytime there’s something that we really want to happen that’s not happening, right? I really wanted the house to sell and it wasn’t selling. The more that I look at the fact that it’s not selling, the harder it’s going to be. It’s like, it’s like a watching a pot boil, right? It just seems like it takes Even longer because you’re staring at it. And so I was like, I want to be doing something different. I don’t want to be thinking or looking at the fact that the house isn’t selling.

Betsy [00:07:48]:
I want to be looking at the fact that I’m going to this other place and how fun it’s going to feel and how good it’s going to feel and what a relief, you know? So I go to the. The apartment, I see the model, I tell them I’m going to take it, but the house doesn’t sell. So after about a week, two weeks, I message them and I say, I don’t think I’m going to be able to take the apartment because the house hasn’t sold, and I can’t really move the furniture out even if I wanted to pay for the apartment and the house. Like, I have to have furniture in the house to sell the house. So I said, I need to wait. And they said, that’s fine. We can hold it for you for a couple more weeks. Which all I need is an offer and for them to go through due diligence.

Betsy [00:08:31]:
So it could really happen in a week, you know, couple weeks might be good. So I say, okay, okay. So every night I’m continuing to envision, you know, what I saw at the model, but this apartment and how it feels, right? Really getting into how it feels. So pretty soon I get an offer. So I’m like, okay, great. So I reached out to the apartment. They were like, you know what? The unit we were going to give you is gone, but I can hold another unit for you. So I’m like, okay, great.

Betsy [00:09:00]:
Hold the. Hold another unit for me. And this offer, I think, is going to be good. And then on Christmas Eve, that offer fell through. There was all kinds of things that they wanted us to do that showed up on their inspection that wasn’t even listed on the inspection as, like, you have to do it. Do you know what I mean? It was just, like, stuff they wanted done, and that’s not what I was going to do. So we let that deal go. So I called the apartment and I said, for the second time, I’m not going to take the apartment because I don’t have a deal on my house.

Betsy [00:09:30]:
And she was like, well, I can hold it for you until the 31st. So. So it’s like, what, a week and a half or week or so? So I’m like, okay. But I’m still feeling like this. I’m starting to feel this, like, pressure, because every time we get close to the date that they’re holding. I have to reach out and tell them my house hasn’t sold. And I’m really trying not to focus on the fact that the house hasn’t sold. I’m really trying to focus on the fact of how good it feels to be where I want to be, right? So the 31st rolls around, and I’m like, I can’t take the apartment.

Betsy [00:10:04]:
Okay, Ms. Betsy, just let us know if anything changes. So now I’m apartmentless once again. I’m waiting for the house to sell. Within just a couple days, I get another offer, and I can feel it this time. I’m like, this one’s gonna close. I can tell. Seemed like a really good offer, and everything was fine.

Betsy [00:10:24]:
And the woman that was buying it has lived in the area. Her family lives in the area. The agent has sold old houses, right? Because it’s a different kind of thing, you know? So I’m like, this is really good. So we go through. We start the due diligence period, and I’m like, I’m gonna reach out to the apartment because I don’t want to not have an apartment. And this woman wanted a really quick close. It was like, three weeks, start to finish. And so I reach out to the apartment, I message them, I email them, because I’m like, I can’t have this conversation again.

Betsy [00:10:55]:
I’m starting to lose my mind. So I email them and I tell them, I’m ready. I’m going to take the apartment. And they email back and say, you know what? The apartment’s actually been rented. Somebody came in and took it. The very next day after your, like, hold on. It expired. And she was like, I am so sorry.

Betsy [00:11:14]:
We don’t have any more apartments until the end of February. Now, this woman that put the offer on our house that we accepted was February 3rd. She wanted to close. You know, so I’m thinking, like, I know I really have no place to go. So I had this moment right where I get the email. And, you know, if you can imagine, like, I’m reading the email, and my hands. It’s like slow motion. My hands are going up to, like, cover my mouth.

Betsy [00:11:39]:
Like, oh, no. Like, no, you didn’t. Oh, my God. And so as my hands, like, two hands get close to my mouth, I’m like, nope, I’m not gonna be horrified. I’m disappointed. And that’s okay because I can handle disappointment. And I put my hands together and I said, universe, I know that this is going to be something really great, Like, I know this is working out for me. Like, if I’m not getting this, then there’s something better.

Betsy [00:12:12]:
And you know what? I really felt that. Like, I felt it, you know, I spent three months envisioning this apartment. And I just was tired. I was so tired. I just was like, whatever. Like, whatever happens at this point, just throw me across the river. You know what I mean? I just was like, I am so tired. And then.

Betsy [00:12:33]:
And I checked later, it was six minutes after I got that email in my inbox, the phone rang, and it was the apartment complex. And the woman said, hey, Miss Betsy. Hey. And I. I’m sorry about the apartment. And I said, I totally get it. Like, you guys, you know, you’ve been over backwards. I appreciate you so much.

Betsy [00:12:53]:
And I’m so disappointed. Like, because in my head, I’m thinking, like, now I gotta figure out not only where to go. Like, not only, like, a different apartment. Like, now I gotta go to a different, like, apartment complex. And I only have a couple weeks, you know, like, I gotta apply and all of those things. And I work for myself. So it’s not like an easy. You have to, like, you know, give a blood sample.

Betsy [00:13:15]:
So I’m like, it’s an apartment. Oh, my God. Like, let this happen. So I. I’m listening to her and she’s like, I’m so sorry about that. And the lady came in and, you know, took the place right off. I said, I understand, I understand. And she said, but then I started thinking, what if we just took the furniture out of the model? Do you want the model? And right off I was like, oh, my God, yeah, that would be amazing, because I’m thinking, I need an apartment.

Betsy [00:13:42]:
And then I hung up. And then I thought, it’s the model. It’s the model that I have been imagining. I didn’t care about it. Like, I didn’t. It’s an apartment. Like, I didn’t. I was fine with wherever I got, but it was the model that I was imagining.

Betsy [00:13:58]:
And, you know, we talk on this show so often about how important it is to be really clear about what you want and to focus on where it is you want to go. You know, the problem, and my problem, too. I am not excluding myself just in this particular instance. I did a good job. But the problem is that we focus on the thing that’s not working, like, over and over and over again. And it takes some training, I think, to be able to shift that and to be able to consciously catch all the times where you’re unconsciously Focused where you don’t want to go. And you’re creating a lot of momentum towards where you don’t want to go. You know, this closing with this house had a lot of bumps in the road, and it would have been really easy to focus on that.

Betsy [00:14:50]:
It would have been really easy to say, this is never going to sell. Like, this is not where it gets to. Although the climate, the environment isn’t right right now, it’s not a good time to sell. Real estate’s down. Like, I could have. Interest rates are high. Like, there’s a lot of things that I could have said. In fact, when I would talk to friends, I would say, I can’t tell you what’s happening because I don’t want to give any attention to it, but I want to tell you where I want to go.

Betsy [00:15:17]:
Like, I would purposely not talk about it. I would say, when this is over, I’ll tell you about it. So now it’s over, so I’ll tell you about it. But moving away from that was such a big lesson for me because it made me recognize how insanely important it is to keep your focus, not only for your mental health component of it, but remember, our unconscious minds are scanning all of the environment to be able to show us the things that it thinks is really important. And if it’s scanning for the things that it thinks is important and what you’re focused on is the negative stuff, like the stuff you don’t want or the worry, it’s scanning for that. It’s learning that that’s what it should be paying attention to and that’s what it’s going to show you more of. And I really was like, I am not going to do that cycle in this because this is so important. And so when we can start to shift to where we want to go, then the bumps in the road take a different viewpoint, right? They don’t seem quite as bumpy and you get new ideas about things you could do.

Betsy [00:16:31]:
That moment of, like, disappointment of seeing that email, but being able to shift really within like, four seconds before any momentum was created to a place of, I know this is working for me with, like, absolute certainty was really, really a powerful thing. Now, later on, I hit the skids later on about a week before closing. So one thing led to another. Like, we found out in we had a super cold spell in Atlanta and we got rats and squirrels that came into the attic right at the time where she was doing her inspection. And so we had to eradicate the rats and the squirrels that had moved in. Right. Which makes sense. We don’t want.

Betsy [00:17:15]:
I don’t want that in my house. So in that process, when they came out, the. The. The people that were, you know, the pest control people were like, they’ve chewed the wires on your HAVOC unit, which are made of soy. So that happens a lot. And so I had to have a HAVOC guy come out. Do you know what I mean? Like, one thing was leading to another, to leading to another. So now I got everything done.

Betsy [00:17:40]:
Everything that they asked me to do is done. And, I mean, it was a lot of stuff and a lot of moving parts. And then a week before closing, the title company reaches out and tells us that there’s an easement. Our fence is actually on the neighbor’s property. But the people we bought the house from had entered into that easement agreement, and we were never told. It wasn’t disclosed to us, and it wasn’t disclosed at closing. So it became a issue. We worked it out, and it all came out fine in the end.

Betsy [00:18:16]:
But that week of working through that was really, really tough. I had to use a lot of my tools to, like, regulate my nervous system and to make sure everything’s okay. We closed on the third, like we were supposed to, and then they closed several days later after. After a survey was done, and some other things were done. So it was like the extremes of the extreme, and one thing led to another, led to another. I just was like, before we look at anything else, because one thing is gonna lead to, like, seven other things that need to be adjusted or fixed or changed. But we made it, and it’s a cool little house, and it’s an awesome place, and this woman is gonna love it, and everything is finalized, and I am fully moved, and it all feels really good. It feels really good.

Betsy [00:19:03]:
So I wanted to give you that update and that fun, like, magical story, because I think it’s just such a good example of how we can control our experience and how we experience certain things. You know, I can’t control if somebody else rents the apartment, but I can control my reaction to it, which changes my whole experience. I did a podcast, actually, when I moved. The last time I did a podcast, it was episode 349, and it was on the Quantum and about how our. It was the science behind how when we are observing something, it can change. So our observation of things impact things. So what is it that you’re looking at? What’s the side of the situation that you’re spending the most time lingering on or worrying about? I heard somebody say something years ago, and it stuck with me. And it was that worrying is a form of prayer, right? Anytime you’re wishing for something is a form of prayer you’re worrying about.

Betsy [00:20:13]:
Wherever you’re lingering is you telling your unconscious mind that’s important. Essentially, that’s what you want. But also. And if you listen to episode 349, I really break this down about how when we are observing something, it can change. And that’s true. When we observe something, it changes. So a little food for thought of what is it? Where is it that you’re spending the most time focusing? Are you focusing on what you want, or are you focusing on the thing that’s making you worry? Are you spending time lingering on all the ways you could find solutions, or are you focused on the thing that. That is driving you insane? Right? Where are you spending time? And that shift.

Betsy [00:21:04]:
That shift is really important. And it’s a skill, you know, it’s a skill that I don’t really think we’re taught necessarily. And it’s a skill that has to be learned in order for us to be able to really create lives that we really love. And I think we hear that thrown around a lot, like live a life that you really love or create a live a big life, all of that. But that comes down to you having like this control over your experience. And by control, I mean controlling your own perception of things and understanding what your perception is and why it is so important. And so, you know, this is the work we do with women inside. The navigate method is really helping them deconstruct their reality and what that is and make the decision on if it’s working for them.

Betsy [00:21:58]:
You know, if something’s working, leave it be. But if it’s not, there are a million different ways to see things and a million different ways to go about things and to find the solution. And so often I think we live in this world of black and white, right? I either have to get the apartment that’s available, or I can’t have the apartment. But the truth is, there was another option there that I hadn’t even been aware of, but I was focused on it, which is I could just move right into the model where nobody else had lived. And it has really cool paint colors. So maybe there’s an option that you hadn’t even considered because you didn’t know it was an option. So listen to episode 349 if you want to get another perspective on that or go a little bit deeper there. But I wanted to Share that magical story, because I think it’s just such a good illustration of, like, when we think about manifesting, right? Which I kind of hate because it’s turned into this funny, weird thing.

Betsy [00:22:53]:
But manifesting is really. We’re constantly manifesting. That’s what we do as humans. Good, good, bad, indifferent, all of it. We’re creating that experience because our unconscious mind is sifting and sorting through all the data and showing us what leads to the creation of our experience. Anyway, I could go. I could spend a lot of time there, but I wanted to just share that I’ve got a bunch of new episodes coming for you guys, so I’m excited about that. We’re gonna roll these out every other week, so we’re gonna have two a month.

Betsy [00:23:26]:
I was getting back on my. I’ve been so busy and just really working with women inside the program and getting focused. Plus all of this with. With changing the. The apartment and selling the house, I really decided that I was gonna put things on the back burner and put my mental health first in all of that. So I was gonna do what I could do with this space that I had and not push myself because I wanted to be healthy through this whole thing. And so. So I’ve.

Betsy [00:23:56]:
It’s been a little bit since I’ve had a podcast, but I have a million ideas and I have a giant list, and there’s been so many things that I wanted to tell you, and I think if I can commit to something that’s achievable, which is going to be, like, every other week, so that I can bring you some really good episodes that have real meaning for you instead of just trying to put something together. So that is my plan. I’m so happy that you’re here. Thank you so much for spending time with me, and thanks for coming back to the show. And I will see you all in two weeks. Hey, thanks so much for listening to today’s show, and thank you for sharing the show with your friends. I love when you guys do that. I appreciate it so much.

Betsy [00:24:35]:
And thank you for leaving me a review on itunes. I know that it matters because when I go to find a podcast, I always look to see what the reviews are. So it really means a lot to me that you take a minute to, like, figure out how to even make that happen. Now if you want to find me, find me on social media. I’m usually on Instagram, starting out on TikTok. It’s just my name, Betsy Paik, and that’s my website, too. Betsy paik.com and you can find out all about the work that I do, having me speak for an event that you might be helping to plan or getting trained inside my alchemy institute. But to make it really easy, if you want me just shoot me a dm, shoot me a direct message on Instagram and I will be at your service.

Betsy [00:25:18]:
Thanks again for listening and I will see you all next week.