We Didn't Turn Out OK with Jennie Monness

61: We're Not Losing Control, We're Holding on Too Tight


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This solo episode is all about what’s actually underneath the behaviors we’re trying so hard to fix, and why the more we try to control them, the more disconnected things can feel. I collected questions from you guys beforehand and almost every question I got sounded different on the surface like:

How do I get my child to listen?

To stop lying?

To be fair?

To go to school without a fight?

To feel ok when they're not included?

…but underneath all of them was the same question:

How do I get my child to behave and react in the way I think they should?

So in this episode, I’m breaking down why that approach and mindset, while so understandable, is often the very thing getting in the way.

I talk about:

  • why “old tricks” stop working (especially around age 3–5)

  • the problem with forcing moral behavior

  • what lying actually means in child development

  • school resistance, bedtime struggles, and what behavior is really communicating

  • and even how we show up in our own adult experiences (like not being included)

    This episode is about shifting from control to connection and reacting to understanding (so hard guys! I know!) But our role isn’t to control every moment,…it’s to support our kids (not control them) as we allow them to move through it.

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    We Didn't Turn Out OK with Jennie MonnessBy Jennie Monness

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